Genesis 30:1–2, which says: “And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die. And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?”

Jacob was understandably upset with Rachel. The last sentence in the text explains why: “Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?” I can hear Jacob now. He was saying: “I am not God, Rachel! It’s wrong for you to put that kind of pressure on me. God is in control of your life, and He’s the only person who can open your womb!” Rachel wanted Jacob to give her a child, and I wanted my husband to heal my childhood wounds.

What about you, reader? How many times have you wanted to give up because someone wasn’t there for you? Maybe you’ve invested in your son, daughter, or marriage, but it feels like you’ve sown into a barren land. Remember, Jacob labored fourteen years for Rachel and didn’t give up on marrying her (Genesis 29–30). Even after he worked for seven years to pay off his debt to marry her, she wanted to die because she couldn’t have a baby. She couldn’t have what she wanted most, so nothing else was good enough for her. Not even her husband!

You may get to the point where you find yourself saying what Rachel said, “Give me [fill in the blank], or else I will die.” If you find yourself saying something like that, then I want you to know what I discovered at that point. It is that God wants you to know you are not going to die, just like I didn’t die because I couldn’t get from my husband what I so desperately wanted. The Bible says God finally remembered Rachel and that she conceived a son and named him Joseph (Gen. 30:23–24).

Actually, God never had forgotten Rachel. He allowed the adversity in her life for the same reasons I believe He uses it in our lives: to make us dependent on Him, to correct us, to build our character, and more. Whatever the reason may be in your life, God is going to remember your time of affliction and give you your heart’s desire if you trust and believe in Him.

Get ready. Your tears have not been in vain. God is about to remember you, as He did Rachel and me. As imperfect as it was, my marriage was becoming more about God’s unconditional love and forgiveness for the two of us as a picture of perfection. The lessons God taught me then still govern my life today. Namely, God’s love can and did heal the deep wounds of my childhood.

The scars were still there, but the sting of rejection, self-pity, anger, and all the other traps the enemy set for me while I was growing up were being healed as I allowed God to heal. The father wants our self worth to come from him and not man so that if your spouse ever leaves, you will not lose you too in that process. Allow God to fill in the blank and receive what you need.