I wept

The Father knew when he created humanity that there would come a time and space, a day, a place where we would be wounded. Wounded beyond our intellect and comprehension to be able to articulate the pain of our experience. God knew words would fail us, so he gave us tears. So, I wept. Tears have a language that are transcribed in the corridors of heaven.

They are so important to God that King David shared with us in Psalm 56:8 (NLT) what God does with our tears.

8 You keep track of all my sorrows.
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.

Take a moment to think about this and open your heart to his spirit to begin to heal you when words fail you, weep.

The word says in Proverbs 18:14 (NKJV)

14 The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness,
but who can bear a broken spirit?

In our complexity as humans God placed within our spirits the capacity to sustain the weight of a physical sickness but not for us to be able to bear a broken spirit. How can our spirit be broken? I am glad you asked. The bible says by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. What or who has broken your heart?

Jesus said he is nigh unto those that are of a broken heart and save such that be of a contrite spirit. I was so broken-hearted that I did not want to live anymore when my husband decided our marriage was over. I loved him but God was about to teach me how to love him like he loved him. I wasn’t weeping over what I had with my late ex-husband. I was weeping because of what we didn’t have and I desired and not just for me.

Are you in a broken marriage and you are ready to give up? I knew about hell. I had read the books. I was ready to commit suicide. He challenged me to lay my life down for him because there was no greater love than this, least a man lay down his life for his friends. God wanted me to know how he loves us in our sin. He wanted me to know how important one soul is to him. He wanted me to know that he did not come for the righteous. He wanted me to know that love covers a multitude of sins. He wanted me to know that when I learned to love like Him then I would pass from death to life.

He wanted me to know how much he had forgiven me of in my sins, and I did not deserve it and I too needed to forgive. This was my cross. This is where He had chosen for me to die with Him. He wanted me to know how much he loved me when I was so unlovely. He wanted me to know that in my weakness, his strength was made perfect. He was rooting and grounding me in his love, making me more like Him. He was branding me with his love in my furnace of affliction.

When my marriage ended in divorce, I reminded the Lord, of all the fasting, all the years I wept, all the money I gave in offerings, all the days I stood and honored my marriage, and I believed in that moment nothing had changed. I could do nothing but weep some more. I wept because I lost something that meant so much to me, but it was not until two days before my ex-husband’s death, years after my divorce that the spirit of God fell on me on August 19, 2012. I wept and wept that Sunday morning in church, not knowing he had been in the hospital three weeks, not knowing that he had decided to take his oxygen mask off because his lungs were no longer operable. I wept reminding God that he promised to save my family, which is all I could say…was you promised…. you promised. I received a call from his mother less than 48 hours later that he had passed.

It did not end the way I thought it would but God honored my sacrifices when we were one and brought him home. It was bigger than my marriage. I knew my marriage was connected to my ministry. I often used to tell others during these years, i couldn’t wait to read the books in heaven one day that were created from all the years I wept for a love I desired but not just for me but for my legacy. I wanted to leave a legacy of love. I knew those books held my love story and my desire for my generations now and to come.

Give him your tears and allow him to finish your story and never, ever give up on what God has given you. God has opened those books and is yet revealing the tears I wept. God didn’t make me wait until I got to heaven. He is revealing my love story. Allow God to heal you and finish and reveal your love story too. Your tears are not in vain. There is going to come a season, that God is going to wipe every tear away and give you a harvest of joy!

I wept

To find words, I'd have to go to God’s library of knowledge, 

Take a trip through the universe and come back from heaven’s college,

Because earthly words failed me from the English language,

as I languished,

and anguished,

to adequately translate my tears.

So, I wept. 

For a love,

that could only come from above,

while the angels collected,

redirected and protected your life,

while God was making me a wife.

I wept from a place of intimacy where we shared secrets that were concealed,

Before we were placed in our mothers' wombs,

Longing to be revealed, 

as i was being healed.

God knew from the day of our ordination and conception,

at the point of inception, 

we would connect,

Chosen before time as two of His elect, 

I wept for a love that we shared in eternity before time and space,

I wept for the day we would come face to face,

I wept for the moment I would feel your embrace,

I wept while God wrote our story, 

Making us special representatives of his grace and his glory.

I wept as deep called unto deep,

So, you would recognize me when God woke you from your sleep, 

and told you I was yours to keep. 

I wept for the day you would say I do,

For the day your spirit would join with me,

from eternity,

For the day, you would remember I already loved you. 

The path to the yellow brick road

I love how God often uses movies to articulate to me prophetic messages. The story of the Wizard of Oz holds some messages to us at this time in our lives as we as a nation face some of the greatest challenges politically, racially, mentally, economically, spiritually, and even relationally currently. I believe God has placed us on the path to the yellow brick road as well. So, to gain some context, let us get a quick synopsis of the movie summarized.

The orphaned Dorothy lives on the Kansas prairie with her Aunt Em and Uncle Henry and her little black dog, Toto. When a cyclone hits, Dorothy is looking for Toto, so she doesn’t get to the cyclone cellar in time. Suddenly, the cyclone lifts the house with Dorothy and Toto inside high in the air. Dorothy wakes up in the Land of Oz, where she discovers that her house has landed on and killed the Wicked Witch of the East. Dorothy meets the Munchkins and the good Witch of the North, who gives Dorothy the dead Witch’s magic red shoes. Dorothy wants to return to Kansas, but to do so, she must travel to the Emerald City to ask the help of the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy sets out on this challenging journey protected by the Witch of the North’s kiss. The travelers run into a series of challenges for which the Scarecrow often produces solutions and that the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Woodman, and Scarecrow use their special abilities to overcome.

Many of us have ended up in a cyclone whether politically, racially, mentally, economically, spiritually, and even relationally currently. Some situations in our lives can hit us so suddenly that without God, we will never make it back “home” or to the promises that God has given us. Dorothy has a “suddenly” experience in her life that leads her away from her home but takes her own a journey that will bring her into a new version of herself that will change her forever when she returns “home.”

How is God trying to use your current situation that at times may have seemed overwhelming and fearful, but God wants to use it to transform you? We must remember that to achieve all God has for us, we will have to defeat the demonic strongholds the enemy has assigned to us from generation after generation. As Dorothy travels, and encounters much opposition, she is given different companions. It’s as if she finds a piece of herself within each of them because it will take a renewed mind, a new heart and courage to accomplish their journey. It will also require the same for us to overcome. At times our situations can make us feel as though we are getting further and further away from “home” or God’s promises.

But God wants us to know we are protected by his kiss. We must not forget every prophetic promise and destiny helper he has given us, it’s God letting us know he is with us, and he sees you and me. Continue to allow God to order your steps as they did on the path to the yellow brick road and know that God’s promises are yes and amen. Just like Dorothy made it back home, so will we. There is no place like home.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Because he made you wait longer

I am a mother and love all my children. I never once thought about what would happen if I couldn’t have children. I took it for granted that I would be a mother one day. I remember the one and only time in kindergarten my mother had to come to school immediately. I told my then five-year-old boyfriend that we were going to get married and have five babies but if any of them were boys that they needed to go straight to the garbage. Well, that statement sent an alarm off in my teacher, Ms. Steward. I didn’t even know what I had done wrong. However, my teacher knew something was off with my perspective with boys at five years old. I am happy, at least I understood it was important to be married because my parents were no longer married. However, the enemy was at work setting up his plan even then.

What psychologically would make me feel as though if I had a baby boy he was not as valuable as a girl to me at the tender age of five? I will tell you what. Looking back on my childhood, it was no secret my mom favored my brother over her three daughters. This manifested in diverse ways, for different reasons. But it wasn’t just the favoritism of my brother. It was also how my father managed us as his children, and he was a male once a boy.

We can look in the life of Jacob that worked 14 years for the love of his life and then when he marries her, God closes her womb, and she cannot have children. Years go by and Leah has child after child for him but not with the love of his life, Racheal. I absolutely don’t believe in having favorite children regardless of if they have the same parent or if they have a different parent from the other child. The scripture says,

Genesis 37: 3 Jacob loved Joseph more than all his other sons, because he had been born to him when he was old. It was because he made you wait longer that your love for it, whatever it is, will be more. You will have a deeper appreciation because you will know if it wasn’t for God doing it, it would have never happened. I want to encourage some parents that are believing God for a child or children. Let us not forget Samson’s parents that were barren. Elizabeth and Sarah gave birth also in their older age. It is never too late for God. He is sovereign and in control. Know that he has collected every tear and recorded your faintest desires through your tears. It’s going to happen!!!

Although, I could have children without any fertility issues, the enemy was trying to crush me in my worth that would make me believe that I couldn’t trust a man. I had to let God heal me from my childhood and abandonment issues from being mishandled. The enemy didn’t want me to become a wife and a mother, but God has made me a wife and a mother and my greatest anointing’s will flow from these two positions. To every woman that has been crushed like me, know God is not done with you yet. Allow him to heal you and finish perfecting those things that concern you while he prepares you for marriage and motherhood.

Proverbs 27:14

Wait on the LORD: Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Adam, where are you?

We all know God is omnipresent and omniscient. The definition of omniscient means knows all. The definition of omnipresent means present everywhere at the same time. So, if God coexist in both dimensions and he has entered the garden many times to fellowship with Adam and Eve, why would he suddenly need to ask Adam where are you?

We can all assume that the question wasn’t for God to locate Adam. It was to bring Adam into a place of accountability and for him to give God a true account of where he was. God is still looking for men like Adam to come back into a place of vulnerability and accountability to allow themselves to be naked and not ashamed the way he created the original Adam.

Where was Adam spiritually? Where was Adam emotionally? Where was Adam mentally? Where was Adam with the assignment that God had given him in his purpose? Where was Adam with his accountability for the woman God gave him?

Adam went AWOL, absent without leave. He was still in the garden, but he had abdicated his position and godly authority because he submitted to something lesser. You are a man that is still in your home but emotionally, you have gone AWOL. You have decided the forbidden fruit of adultery, pornography, or fornication is better than living in the restraints of your calling and purpose.

God is still asking men the question today; Adam where are you?

God was looking for Adam and Eve to be accountable and remain naked and not ashamed. God desires for adults today to come back into a place of accountability in our relationships so he can restore the family and our rightful place of our dominion. Let’s see how this conversation begins.

 Genesis 3:9-10 But the LORD God called to Adam, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You [walking] in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so, I hid myself.”

 Stop hiding! They were hiding behind fig trees. Others are hiding behind a bottle of alcohol, sex, drugs or even work.

Adam, where are you?

11 And he said, who told thee that thou were naked? Hast, thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

12 And the man said, the woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

So many men are still blaming the woman for their lack of accountability. How? Your spouse made you intentionally or unintentionally to feel unappreciated. Some men justify a vice as solace for the lack of disrespect they may feel and turn to a forbidden fruit that manifest in bread eaten in secret.

Adam, where are you?

13 And the Lord God said unto the woman, what is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, the serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. This vicious cycle continues to plague us today. They both took no responsibility for themselves, and the seed of the woman was left vulnerable. Our men are missing. Our women are left uncovered. Our children are left exposed. The enemy was given the right through the curse to bruise the heel of the seed of the woman. The seed of the woman was given the right to bruise his head, but the enemy is not just bruising the heel of the seed, he is crushing their heads too.

 The enemy is destroying our seed in abortions and so many are left in foster care. We must protect our children because little boys grow up to become men and little girls grow up to become women. However, if the little boy and girl remain crushed from childhood wounds, we will have a generation of adults struggling with arrested development. Thus, resulting in them not being able to manage the weight of their families because of the bruising of their heels and crushing of their head.

When the heel is bruised, it will affect their ability to walk and run in what God has called them too. God wants to heal our families, but it starts with being able to answer the question God asked in the garden before the curse, Adam where are you?

Many women are waiting on their Adam to step into their rightful place of dominion so they can take their place with him. When men get back in their rightful position with God, families will begin to heal. Coach David Burrus said in a podcast interview that when a man finds out who he is then his wife will appear. He said, I am Adam, so I’m here first because whoever I am is going to come out of me not to me. So to every Adam, you are looking for, YOU. The one that God is looking to appear first.

Be encouraged because God gave them a second chance when he gave them another seed, Seth and his son began to call upon the name of the Lord. God is going to give you another chance. Lord, let our men heal so our families can too, in Jesus’ name.

 Genesis 4:25 And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew.

26 And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the Lord.

The word on God's dating streets is: GROW

Sesame Street was one of the fondest memories I can remember watching and learning from my childhood. I learned so much. I remember how we had a divider in our home. It divided the living room from our dining room. I would jump on the table, over the couches and over the divider all while singing got to get to sesame street. I had made my own imaginary sesame street. Each week we would get a new word that was on the street. Many are in these dating streets and are listening for a word but are just like I was living in an imaginary place. Some are jumping from one relationship after another not allowing the word to divide between their soul and spirit to bring them to their desired street. They won’t wait on God to renew their strength and give them a word. That word is: Grow.

It’s time to grow. Some have stopped growing. Some have given up on love. Some are playing in these dating streets and getting hurt, disappointed, bitter and frustrated. God knows how to connect the dots and put the missing puzzle pieces together because he promised to lead us in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake (psalm 23). Some have let go of mercy and truth’s hands in their relationships. He has given us the strategies in his word and how to order you and your partner’s steps to cause you to meet.

Well just like children as we grow, we must realize we don’t stop growing because we grow up naturally. Michelle Obama said in her book, Becoming, “That this is one of the most useless questions an adult could ask a child. What do you want to be when you grow up? As if growing up is finite. As if at some point you become something and that’s the end.”

I imagine in my own personal life how my purpose partner and my life will come together before the throne, and it is found in part in these scriptures.

In Psalm 85: 10 Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. 11 Truth shall spring out of the earth; and righteousness shall look down from heaven. 12 Yea, the LORD shall give that which is good; and our land shall yield her increase. 13 Righteousness shall go before him; and shall set us in the way of his steps.

In the inner beauty of the design of who God created us to be, we have never let go of mercy and truth’s hand. We will always bring them together in our lives, so they never let go of each other. Just like we will do with each other, and when we do, know that righteousness and peace are able to kiss each other in our lives.

We will understand that they need to be together, just like we do. I believe when people have a foundation established in mercy and truth in their individual lives, it gets the attention of heaven. It causes righteousness and peace to come together before the throne and kiss. Do you know how to get heaven’s attention to cause God to order your steps and bring you and your purpose partner together? We made righteousness look over the balcony of heaven, to see who was able to make them hold a kiss for so long?

See this is a kiss that will never end because you have degreed that our standard will be mercy and truth. They will be bound about our necks as ornaments and a plow in our hands. They will be the secret to our kiss as well of the story we will tell. This is the place we will forever live tucked safely in our minds between righteousness and peace. They are our keys to the kingdom for us to overcome. 

Righteousness has released Gods orders in our lives for the earth to yield her goodness and increase causing righteousness to become our guide and set us in the way of his steps. He promised that the steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord. This is how we will meet, and this is how God will cause others to meet their purpose partners.

There have been very painful situations in my life and the only way I was not destroyed by the enemy was to not let go of mercy and truth’s hand. I had to continue to grow so God could give me the favor I needed to overcome. So, as you are out here in these dating streets remember to not let bitterness, disappointment and heartbreak cause you to give up and stop you from operating in mercy and truth. Get on God’s Street called grow so you can get the attention of heaven and release that which is good into your lives.

Psalms 84:11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield: The LORD will give grace and glory: No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

Dream again

During our captivity, God promised to turn it and not when we come out of it but while we are in it. God wants you to dream again! I can only imagine our slave ancestors and the days they must have wept for themselves, their children, and the men they loved. I can only imagine the songs they must have sung to encourage themselves while being abused, fearful and destroyed. Many of them were dreaming that one day, things would be different for their generations down the road. All of them did not turn from God because the slave masters twisted the scriptures. God collected their tears and is responding to their blood through our lives. They are our cloud of witnesses that are cheering us on now.

Their blood still has a voice today. I will prove it from Genesis 4:9-12 The LORD asked Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” He answered, “I do not know. Am I supposed to take care of my brother?” Then the LORD said, “Why have you done this terrible thing? Your brother's blood is crying out to me from the ground, like a voice calling for revenge. Our ancestor’s blood is still crying for revenge. It is still crying for restoration. It is still crying for vindication. It is still crying for restitution and God is going to give to us. If we will cry out to him in intercession for divine restoration. (Isiah 42:22)

As we have overcome generational bloodline curses, God is getting ready to release generational blessings. It is for those that allowed God in their captivity to turn it and they gave birth to a dream. You sowed your tears in a previous season. Now it is our time to enter our season of joy!

Just like God judged Cain, God is going to judge the spiritual enemies of our ancestors. This is the time that God is raising up people in the kingdom to become the answer generationally to their promises. You are the fulfillment of what they never received on the earth. God told Abraham his ancestors would be enslaved for four hundred years. In Genesis 15:16 Then in the fourth generation your descendants shall return here [to Canaan, the land of promise], for the wickedness and guilt of the Amorites is not yet complete (finished).”

I am the fourth generation from my late great grandfather, the Honorable Elijah Muhammad. God turned my captivity almost twenty years ago amid my troubled marriage, but I too had to wait like Abraham. God has waited generations to do what he is about to reveal through you and me in this next season. It is the fullness of time. For some, you are still in the middle of your captivity and God is about to allow you to dream again!

God is turning it around NOW!!! It’s time to dream again!!!!

Psalm 126:1  When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream.

2 Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them.

3 The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.

4 Turn again our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the south.

5 They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

6 He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

Getting through the gutter

The word said David perceived he was King. There was no prophetic announcement this time. God was ready to establish him, and he had to recognize his time to be crowned had come. Do you recognize this is your time to take your kingdom? The first city King David went to conquer was Jerusalem. Let’s see what they said about King David in 2 Samuel 5:6-10 The king and his men marched to Jerusalem to attack the Jebusites, who lived there. The Jebusites said to David, “You will not get in here; even the blind and the lame can ward you off.” They thought, “David cannot get in here.” 7 Nevertheless, David captured the fortress of Zion—which is the City of David.

They were mocking King David by saying that he was so weak that he couldn’t even make it past their blind and lame. Have you ever been in a season in your life the enemy has challenged you mentally, financially, spiritually, physically or even possibly sexually that God can’t give you what he promised you? It’s the inner enemy that is usually bigger than the enemy outside that we must get passed in our hearts and minds. David had to figure out a way to conquer Jerusalem without destroying it.

What are you trying to conquer?

Pastor Keion Henderson shared something profound in a message called Attention to details. God wants you to know in order to conquer your spouse’s heart, you cannot destroy her or him to gain the respect and love you deserve.

Some people don’t even realize that they have violence in their borders in their relationship because they aren’t swinging physically on each other. No, you may not be beating them with your fist, but your words have cut like a knife. Your denial of affection is as cruel as solitary confinement. Your rejection has clipped their wings and thrown them into a cage and locked it where they were once soaring.

David knew he couldn’t do it alone. David told his crew, whoever goes through this gutter will be the chief captain. We know the enemy has told you it is easier to just destroy the relationship and walk away. God wants you to be willing to go through that gutter together and conquer that issue without allowing it to destroy your whole relationship. Promotion is on the other side of this in your relationship.

God gave King David a strategy to conquer Jerusalem. What is your Jerusalem? Sometimes as you humble yourself, it may feel dark, cold and you may feel like at times you are crawling through the gutter to save that relationship. You may not even be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. God wants you to know it is worth it. Jerusalem became the stronghold of King David, and it became the city of David. This relationship will become your stronghold. Your safe place.

The word says in Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that rules his spirit than he that taketh a city. Rule your spirit, be slow to anger and honor God in that relationship. Watch God establish you in your sphere of influence. God is going to cause you to overcome that weakness in your relationship if you are willing to not destroy it to get the love and respect you deserve and desire. Remember to humble yourself and submit to one another.

Your speech betrays you

I was talking to someone very dear to me yesterday. She reminded me that all her life she has felt like she had to look out for herself without anyone to assist her. I reminded her she had God too. Sometimes before we know he is there; we feel like it’s us doing it all by ourselves. I know she isn’t the only one that has felt this way. I want to encourage you that even Jesus our Lord and Savior needed someone. He needed twelve disciples that were not perfect but were perfect for their assignments.

An apostle is a sent one by God to establish something new. Apostles are pioneers and often builders of a pattern that has not been before. They deal with root issues and uproot systemic issues that come to threaten that pattern they are called to build and establish. Well, Jesus had twelve original apostles and the word says one was a devil. Jesus absolutely could not fulfill his destiny without Peter or Judas.

Who has God showed you is irreplaceable and invaluable to your destiny?

Jesus knew all along that Peter and Judas would betray him at his greatest time of need. Heaven was betting on them and so was Jesus. He absolutely needed Peter and Judas to accomplish his kingdom purposes. We need our Peter and our Judas. No one, absolutely No one could discern from Jesus that he would be betrayed based on his interactions with them. He poured into them and allowed them to grow together. The wheat was growing with the tare until it was harvest time. It wasn’t time yet for Jesus to die.

Some people have asked me as I share my testimony, why didn’t I leave because of the way my late ex-husband was treating me. God had me interceding when I wanted to walk away. I was so broken and at my lowest pregnant with my last son. I remember praying on my washroom floor at 20 years old. I was crying so hard in a fetus position crying my soul out. This prayer came out of nowhere. I asked the father to give me a husband that would love me like Jacob loved Racheal and it was the next part that blew my own mind. I told him I had some issues. These were issues at that time I wasn’t even aware of that had occurred through previous moments of trauma of being dropped emotionally and in other ways.

But God knew.

As I wept, I asked him to allow my future husband to wait on me until I could get myself together. I knew I had ALL of heaven’s attention. Heaven bowed that day to listen to me weep. I didn’t understand the magnitude of that prayer until almost 10 years later when I was pregnant. My late ex-husband let me know the only reason he didn’t leave was because I was pregnant. He shared after leaving that his late stepfather told him to wait at least until I had the baby. In one of my intense days of praying after he left, the Lord reminded me of that day I asked him to wait until I could get myself together. He didn’t love me like Jacob loved Racheal though. God saved my life. My late ex-husband was my Judas. He brought me to my cross into my purpose. God was teaching me how to love like him, to forgive all while preparing me to be the wife I needed to be although I was rejected by him.

The word says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Jesus was getting ready to be crucified and he was about to reveal somethings. Matthew 26:31–35. “I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.

Peter did something he didn’t realize he could do but God knew he was about to do. The word says in Jeremiah 9:17 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? The Lord knows it.

The stage was being set for the perfect offense and pressure to cause Peters speech to betray him. It was undeniable that he had been with the Lord. His heart posture and the letter of God’s word was written in his heart. What is your heart posture concerning what God has revealed to you that you cannot deny? How will you respond when you are confronted with the truth? Will you respond like Peter did?

Matthew 29:69 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came to him, saying, “You also were with Jesus of Galilee.”

70 But he denied it before them all, saying, “I do not know what you are saying.”

71 And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, “This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth.”

72 But again he denied with an oath, “I do not know the Man!”

73 And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, “Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you.”

74 Then he began to curse and swear, saying, “I do not know the Man!”

Maybe you are a man preparing for marriage and you are carrying a lot of weight. You are preparing for your future spouse and at times you are overwhelmed. You may be trying for her to see all you are doing like Jesus was telling his disciples. It was better for him to go so he could send the comforter and prepare a place for us. At times our mate can’t understand the pressure of you being you. Peter couldn’t understand Jesus’s path. But if you communicate and get an understanding it can avoid offense because your speech will betray you. How we respond when we are offended matters. Jesus uses it as an opportunity to reveal Peters heart to himself.

What has God recently showed you about your heart because of an offense?

John Bevere says, Offense is the bait of Satan. Peter was offended that they were associating him with Jesus. Who have you denied 3 times because of offense? There is hope for that relationship. Jesus told him before he did it, that he had prayed for him that the enemy would not be able to cause his faith to fail him.

There is restoration after betrayal when your speech betrays you.

Maybe you are a woman and you have been healed from past trauma and something in your relationship deeply triggered an old trauma? You were offended which triggered an offense in them. You shared your heart, and your relationship was affected causing you to be denied. Peter was able to be quickly restored because Jesus covered him in prayer before he told him it would happen. Can you see past Peter’s offense and cover your spouse? As a spouse can you hear the pain of their past and be compassionate without rejecting them but instead consider the cause of the trigger? Maybe you didn’t respond correctly to the offense like she didn’t because of pain. But Peter, can you consider the impact your actions had on her heart? There is nothing Jesus can’t heal. It didn’t change his purpose or his destiny. The word says with all your getting to get an understanding.

Peter was given an assignment from his betrayal. Jesus told him after he was restored to turn around and restore his brethren. Our commission is the same. We are to grow from every offense and take wisdom and impart it to others. Peter you are going to get everything God promised you.

Repairing the Breaches

I listened to a lot of messages because I love the wisdom of God and I know when I hear the unadulterated word. God is calling us to build the old waste places and repair the breaches. What does this mean in everyday practical living when you are in a relationship or marriage? Jada Edwards taught a message called Marriage on a Mission. This was one of the most practical messages on marriage I have heard in a long time. This was a microphone drop message for me. She said when you want to build intimacy in your marriage, you will cheer your spouse on when they are trying to love you in the way you want to be loved. She said you are not doing it to measure their efforts to see if they are doing an excellent job but because you have a marriage mission mindset. You are acknowledging the EFFORT they are making.

She said if you measure gratitude and encouragement on a scale from 1 to 10, that her husband is a nine and she is a negative four. She said she cannot say thank you enough to appreciate him. She said she really sucks at letting him know how much she appreciates him but tries hard. However, she said if she works hard on any given day to acknowledge his efforts, but she still may miss the two most important things he did, she shifts to a two. She said, if he wants intimacy, he will build a bridge to close that gap between the nine and the two. She said when it is about inspection, your spouse will say, I am over here, and you are still at two. She said, your spouse will always fail to meet the standard that you set for them but if you want intimacy, you will acknowledge how far they have started from.

This message reminded me of when I was previously married. My ex-late husband had already begun to pull away and I could feel the weight of our marriage, the new baby, and my other son now. Then suddenly, God decides to take me under his holy ghost knife. I was in spiritual surgery and grieving my childhood and the mother my mom was not to me, while God was requiring me to become the mother I needed to be with my children. This was so painful.

See, my late ex-husband had a good mom to her children. I was crying a lot but passed my test. My ex-late husband told me I acted like he was beating me for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He slowly withdrew altogether from me, driving this cork of rejection deeper and deeper into my heart from my childhood. He told me to just get over it and just be a mother. He had no mercy at all on me. See I didn’t just want more kids, I wanted a family with a husband, and it felt like I just had a new baby and a lot of extra weight.

Sometimes your normal, is someone else’s miracle.

I was taking care of the children, but I was struggling emotionally without the support of my husband. I needed his encouragement and love. At that time, I was working at a place called The Women’s Treatment Center. It was an intervention facility for women on drugs and alcohol for them and their children: a last step before losing them. One morning I was attending a morning staff meeting. The medical director opens the agenda with stating, we want to honor the women in a unique way. She stated the women made it downstairs this week for breakfast with their kids on time. She then proceeds to ask, what should we do for them?

I had wings that day. I flew out of the meeting like Dash, Dash from the movie, The Incredibles. The weight of Gods glory fell on me so strong. I ran and balled in the bathroom. I was crying so hard. I said, God I am not on drugs and alcohol, and I am just as messed up emotionally as them. I was coming to work every day on time and taking the kids to school and was nurturing them. I couldn’t understand why I was going through all that with no honor. I heard God say, I am going to honor you. God was rebuilding those breaches since he wouldn’t share God’s love with me.

My late ex-husband would not build the old waste places and close the breaches in my heart but instead became an inspector. He was adding insult to my injuries. He would not acknowledge where I started from. I was not meeting his standards of a mother because I was weak to him. He did not see that weakness in his mother. Instead of building me up, he was crushing my efforts even more. He was not measuring my efforts and the fact that I was still taking care of the kids and going to work each day while he was cheating. He believed it was something I should just do without any gratitude and encouragement. He had absolutely no mercy on me emotionally or physically because he was comparing me to his mother. And on top pf all of this, he wouldn’t get a job to offer any financial support.

My mother was alive but lived like she was dead raising us and was not present emotionally. My dad’s mom struggled and allowed herself to be abused and her children. My great-grandmother struggled and at one point seriously considered killing herself and her four children. I wanted something different for my generations. I was pressing.

What areas is God calling you to raise up the foundation from many generations? What has your spouse told you was destroyed in their heart from a previous relationship or marriage that you can build a new foundation that was destroyed? Are you willing to repair the breaches? So many are missing building their love legacy and breaking generational curses by failing in the everyday acts of love and kindness in their relationships and marriage. You may ask yourself; how can I do this? It’s a decision.

The word says life and death are in the power of the tongue and they that love it will eat the fruit thereof. Are you repairing the breaches or destroying the paths? When we treat each other right, we not only make love deposits to each other, but others also are able to drink from that well.

David Burress said it like this: “The majority of men feel most loved when they feel heard, seen, valued and appreciated.” So, if your spouse needs you to do these things, understand you are building your foundation and restoring breaches in their hearts for generations to come. Let us break these curses so God can release his blessings in our relationships.

Isaiah 58:12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.

Father May !?

Permission from me was not needed, 

Because our Heavenly Father preceded,

us through our tears we both interceded,

I was not an option,

I understood the admission,

because I was the decision. 

My heart is in His hand,

like a Spector, a royal diadem,

A weapon of war for Him,

extended on command,

Because your love was on demand,

for a response and a reaction,

Reducing me like a fraction,

to our lowest common denominator,

Our nominator.

As I bowed down,

To a king that was ready for his crown.

As He joined us by his spirit, power and might,

Taking all our wrongs and making them right,

Without my permission,

but in total submission,

Right from the start,

Your words penetrated and broke the hymn of my heart,

Suddenly in one moment our hearts were synced,

As our souls became linked. 

We both recognized and felt the release,

Of His grace, his love and his peace. 

You don’t need my permission,

you have His, because I understand the mission,

because I was never an option, I was always the decision. 

Don't take your father's God's

Jacob decides enough is enough. He is about to sneak his family away from Laban. Laban his father-in-law was a ruthless man. He tricked him and he ended up with the wrong wife in the beginning. He ends up having to work 14 years instead of seven years for the love of his life, Rachel. Laban changes his wages unfairly ten separate times. Jacob was ready to go. He realized that if he did not go the way he did that Laban may take his daughters away from him or worse. Well, Laban pursues him, but God must give him a dream to let him know not to touch him.

If God protected Jacob, he would protect you too. People in your wife’s bloodline have been treacherous but God wants you to know he is in control.

They come face to face and Laban is looking for his idols, his God’s. Jacob tells him he can kill whoever has them if he finds them. Be careful about what you come to an agreement with. God is listening and so is the enemy. He is so confident that no one took them from his family. However, Jacob has no idea the love of his life has stolen the idols and is hiding them.

Jacob had been stuck in a tough situation that was only originally supposed to be a short hide out so his twin would not kill him. He ends up staying twenty years, but God made him a promise to bring him home. This was a prophetic promise not just a desire of Jacob’s.

What has God promised to do for you prophetically that you have been waiting for many years?

This was my challenge. God gave me the faith to ask him for the things my ancestors never received from multiple generations and even back to slavery. I had entered generation warfare. I was laboring like Jacob for what he wanted most. The word says, in Matthew 12:29 Or else how can one enter a strong man's house, and spoil his goods, except he first binds the strong man? and then he will spoil his house. I was in the biggest war of my life in my previous marriage with many generational strongholds in operation and I was contending in faith fighting to bind them to spoil their house. I was fighting to come out of agreement with all the things many of my ancestors did not overcome. I wanted more than anything, everything God had for me and for my generations and those coming behind me and I was willing to suffer for it. For what are you willing to suffer?

Right before they reach the promise, his homeland, Racheal ends up dying in childbirth. Research says it was barely thirty-one miles from the promise. He was so close. God does not want you to fall short of his promises due to partial obedience. He wants you to receive everything he has for you and your generations now and to come. God wants you to enjoy the fullness of the dream he has given you to birth. I was broken but God was breaking my heart for my marriage and family, for the souls that were lost and for the wealth that was stolen generation after generation. It did not feel like God was with me in this hard place. God showed Jacob that he was with him in that place, but he did not know it. God wants you to know he is with you even though it may feel like you are stuck in a difficult situation.

God wants to know will you leave your father’s Gods behind to get what he has for you and your generations?

Do not just get the love of your life or whatever that is that you labored for and come short of receiving everything he has for you. It didn’t cost her then but it cost her later. He is still the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Do not take your father’s God’s with you. It is time to get your generational promises. It’s too costly.

33 So Laban looked in Jacob’s tent, in Leah’s tent, and in the tent where the two slave women stayed, but he did not find his idols. When he left Leah’s tent, he went into Rachel’s tent. 34 Rachel had hidden the idols inside her camel’s saddle and was sitting on them. Although Laban looked through us, the tents, he did not find them.

The dawning

You are being raised as an anomaly. You have been in the background for a season. God has been building you in secret. He has been purging you and causing you to be rooted and grounded in his love. He wanted to make sure you were ready. You are a record breaker. God is about to do something with you that no one else has done before. Mary was the only virgin that ever gave birth without ever having sex with a man. Moses was the only one that God spoke to from a burning bush. Elijah was the only one that was given a double portion of Elisha’s mantle. Elizabeth was the only one that got filled with the Holy spirit before Jesus’ birth, death or even his resurrection.  Esther was the only one who the King extended his specter to without being called into the court and not yet crowned Queen to be offered up to half the kingdom. John the Baptist was the greatest prophet to ever live.

Jonah was the only one that got swallowed by a whale and lived 3 days in its belly. Noah was the only man that found favor that was extended to his immediate family to survive the flood. Abraham was the only one God asked to offer his son up as a burnt offering. Sarah was the only woman that had a baby at ninety. Samson was the only man that could kill thousands of men with the jawbone of a donkey. Gideon was the only leader that defeated thousands with an army of only 300 men. King David was the only one that defeated a giant with a sling shot.

What has God called you to do that no one else has been called to do?

God is not just fulfilling my prophetic words. He is doing the same for you as well. Many are standing in their final season. My final season started on 3/18/18 and now I entered my finest hour last year. God is starting to send your destiny helpers and the others are coming that are called to your LIGHT. He is making us that light set upon a hill that cannot be hidden. All things are being made new! The new wine is coming, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you! The camels are coming! I am standing in my dawn. You are standing in your dawn! The sun is coming up! You are on the brink of your tomorrow.  The sun is coming out!

Isiah 60:1-6

Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee. 2For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the LORD shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee. 3And the Gentiles shall come to thy light, and kings to the brightness of thy dawning. 4Lift up thine eyes round about, and see: all they gather themselves together, they come to thee: thy sons shall come from far, and thy daughters shall be nursed at thy side. 5Then thou shalt see, and flow together, and thine heart shall fear, and be enlarged; because the abundance of the sea shall be converted unto thee, the forces of the Gentiles shall come unto thee. 6The multitude of camels shall cover thee, the dromedaries of Midian and Ephah; all they from Sheba shall come: they shall bring gold and incense; and they shall shew forth the praises of the LORD.

Humiliated in my own eyes

There David was after years and years of running and hiding in caves and fighting battles and realizes he has discovered the secret of the blessing of God’s presence. God’s presence was with the ark of the covenant. David understood that to be blessed he needed God’s presence, and he was willing to be humiliated in his own eyes to get it. Have you ever had to go through something while others looked down on you and persecuted you for being willing to do it to get God’s blessing?

 God promised that if we trust him, we would never be brought to shame. David came back to bless his house but was greeted with disdain. As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Saul’s daughter, Michal, watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart.

How many men have overcome their anger, fear of failures and many other secret battles and the women in their lives don’t see the battles and strength it took to get to this place of accomplishment? She saw one situation and didn’t judge righteously the weight of that moment. Be careful what you see as dishonorable that God counts honorable.

David leaped and danced. You had to endure a season of dishonor when you were being honorable. You fasted and sowed financial offerings when you were not appreciated.  You had to endure something that others felt was humiliating and would have never endured to make a situation right. You had to challenge a religious tradition, a generational curse attached to a giant or a system? You had to appear stripped like David and appear dishonorable before those that you should have been held in honor. You had to make a hard decision that caused you to be vulnerable and brought shame in your life, but you did it with honorable intentions.

 Are you willing to be humiliated in your own eyes to honor God and get the blessings he has for you?

 2 Sam 6:20 When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”

21 David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the Lord. 22 I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.” 23 Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death.”

David knew that it was God that had positioned him, and he wasn’t going to let his wife steal his moment of victory. He didn’t allow her to minimize him after all he had been through to get that place in God. We can not let the enemy through others make us feel like we should walk in shame when God has brought us into a season of victory. She counted him dancing out of his clothes as a weakness, but God saw it as honorable that he was willing to become transparent and vulnerable before the people even if he felt humiliated in his own eyes for God. God is challenging us to not allow the shame of our past, our battles or anyone in our lives to pull us out of this season of victory. To every David that has overcame and been willing to be humiliated in your own eyes to get what God said you could have, I want to say: Thank you. God is going to establish your throne forever like he did King David as you continue to acknowledge and stay a man after God’s own heart.

The picture that I took,

Does not fit in an album or a book,

It is much bigger. 

It lives in my heart and is framed by time and chance,

Defined more than by one moment or a circumstance,

It is protected by the love of God that covers blemishes and mistakes, 

Protected from ripes or breaks,

It is not subject to contortion,

or distortion.

This image was taken the moment you decided to say yes,

To Gods blessing and best.

Not to perfection, 

but to a new direction. 

It cast down imaginations and brought them captive in my mind,

And removed the crinkles and tears that the enemy tried to use to blind, 

Us,

With an image to capture the pain,

But It was developed without blemish or shame,

For the day you overcame,

you became,

The man that chose to love me and give me your last name. 

See this picture does not hang on a wall,

It has been restored and will soon be seen by all,

on display,

Like a fine piece of art that was once hidden and tucked away. 

In this picture, I see forgiveness and grace,

These are the lines that run through your face,

Not wrinkles of time, not sorrow from the tears in your eyes, 

from past mistakes that try to torment you with fears and lies,

But I see the love that defines your days,

because you allowed him to change your ways,

 and you continue to give him the praise. 

You changed the image that forever lives in my heart.

Of a man that I can trust and feel safe from sorrow, 

To share my tomorrow,

forever protected from being destroyed or ever ripped apart,

Because you are a man like David after God’s heart. ❤️

The Power of love

Beauty and the Beast is one of my all-time favorites happily ever after stories of all times. I find myself in her story more than once. No matter where we are in life we must never give up on love. Beauty dreams of falling in love but knows she has not met the one as she goes about her regular life each day. Regardless of her mundane everyday routine she never loses her song and dream. Have you lost your song and dream of love?

Bell lived a life of sacrifice helping to take care of her dad and flaming the flame of his dream as an inventor. She supports him and ends up deciding to sacrifice herself and her dreams to guard his life. He ended up trapped in the beasts’ grip and in exchange for her life, he was released. Have you ever loved and supported someone else, or even your children and watched your dream die so their dream could live? God wants you to know your sacrifices were not in vain. The path you are on is going to lead you to the one even if adversity led you to them.

She went into a castle that without her knowing it was cursed. You underestimated the strongholds in the bloodline you married into and are now facing Goliaths. Many of us are living under a spiritual curse from generations. God wants to begin to give us better. He wants to give us what our slave ancestors never had. They weren’t even allowed to marry. Their children were sold and stolen while they nursed the babies of their slave owners. This is a time he is restoring to us not just what we dreamed but what they dreamed.

God is about to break the curse, but it will require love to break the curse. We as a Black nation must begin to love beyond what we can see. Beyond the hate. Beyond the bitterness. Beyond the pain of what brought you into that prison like Bell that seems so unfair. You must realize it is bigger than you. Your ability to love is going to be the fulfillment of many generational promises of a love legacy that will be passed down for many generations to come. You won’t just leave money; you will leave a restored hope in love and marriage.

Bell ends up falling in love and seeing more in him before the last pedal falls. God wants you to know it is not too late for that marriage, trust he can restore it even if you are married to a beast. Love has the power to break the curse. She broke the curse with the power of her love. Don’t underestimate the power of your love. Everything in the castle came back into divine restoration. If you can see beyond those weaknesses, cover them, and share God’s love, God will change it. Everything and everyone connected to you will change just like it did in the castle because Bell was able to see beyond the beast and see the real King.

The power of love,

You are the one I’m thinking of,

The only man on my mind,

As we become intertwined,

I imagine you whisper in my ear,

And it’s as if I become deaf and I can’t hear.

God’s love,

has the power to silence the voices and choices in my head of,

Every negative thing, my father, mother, or ex-lover every spoke,

It’s powerful enough to knock down every wall down,

That was ever built,

And strong enough to heal what was broke,

And to rescue me from the shame and guilt,

of my past.

When you lay hands on me,

You will leave your fingerprints and will be charged with the crime,

Of changing my name and stealing my time,

while causing my life to be redefined.

I imagine you will have the skills to play me like an instrument.

To rhythmically follow your notes

And heartbeat,

To arise in every area of my life that I have known defeat,

And to empower me to stand on my feet,

Where I was once crippled and lamed,

devastated, and blamed.

When I look into your eyes, I can see my dream,

Believing we will make it no matter what things seem.

You are a light to my way,

That gives me hope each day,

A voice in the wilderness that has paved a path,

So, we can live in his favor and laugh.

We will never suffocate again because we can’t come near,

No more fear,

For I need you to resuscitate me,

For my love has the power to set you free.

My Toy Story

In life Jesus told us we would have tribulations but to be of good cheer because he has overcome the world. We all have our share of heartbreaks and mistakes but all of us can remember a time in our childhood when we had a favorite toy. Sometimes our heartbreak becomes someone else’s heartbeat and you become the discarded one and the treasure for the next one. As we grow up and develop, we exchange those toys for people in our lives. I want to encourage others to create their own Toy Story and never forget “why” your person was once your favorite. In all the Toy Story movies, we can learn so much as adults from the imagination of a child.

When we stand at the altar, we make a pledge to death do us part. We are promising that no matter what comes or goes, for better or for worse, we will never quit on each other. Jesus tells us that there is no greater love than this that a man lay down his life for his friend. You are their favorite. You can see what they don’t see and that’s how you will see them. You make a commitment to grow together so you never outgrow each other and discard them for someone different. You put away childish things, grow up, and begin to think and understand and process things from an adult’s perspective and not a child. You listen to one another so you can protect your spouse and cover them in prayer from their blind spots when they can’t see.

You always prioritize your lover and make sure they are the smartest one in the room with you and never allow them to be caught off guard. You challenge them to reach beyond their comfort zones to reach new heights and depths in God in faith together. You never make them feel like they are nothing or less than who God said they are. You never come in agreement with Hell with the version of them you see but you pray and encourage them to become a better version of themselves. If they are struggling with a weakness help them get that monkey off their back. Never stop loving them because love never fails.

Don’t make them feel like they don’t have a voice in your life and never make them feel vulnerable and transparent that you are going to get a divorce. Instead, allow God to be glorified in your marriage and learn to have fun and rejoice in Christ facing every challenge. Jesus said he endured the cross, while despising the shame because of the joy set before him.

My Toy Story

Take me to Infinity and beyond and I’ll always make sure your BUZZ stays LIT,

I’ll be the one reminding you we can’t quit,

You’ll always know you’ve got a friend in me,

and you will never lose your sight and can’t see,

See,

You’ll never outgrow me and not want to play,

I’ll always be your favorite boo not your toy,

Because you will be my man and not my boy,

Your name will be tattooed on my heart and not my shoe,

I’ll pull your heart string and let you know you got a snake in your boot,

stay away from her because she’s cute.

And when others walk in the room,

I wont be consumed,

and lay down and pretend like i don’t know what to do,

and no matter who comes or goes,

God knows,

I’ll fix that tare in your arm so you can reach,

and

You’ll never sit on the shelf next to donkey while I preach,

I’ll be the one you can ride,

with and always by your side,

See we will always get passed that monkey,

Cause there is no day,

I pray,

That could make us not care,

Or be able to bare,

Or ever keep us from getting free,

We will always have our own toy story,

and everyday we will find another way to reveal his glory,

and no body will ever be able to steal your voice,

because ill be the one guarding you and we will never get a divorce,

never placed in a bag and given a way,

because I outgrew you on any given day,

because I’m going to get a man not a boy,

and this will be our story,

and God will always get the glory.

Coloring outside the lines

I have learned so much this last year watching my favorite relationship podcast, Dear Future Wifey. Culture teaches us we must have a certain amount of money. We must have a master’s or a PHD in this or that. We must be completely healed. We have to date this long. We must marry a high valued man or woman. Then after we get our person, we discard them like a badly colored picture outside the lines. We are failing in our relationships while investing all our time educated in jobs that are not rewarding and fulfilling. We are fighting political wars and causes that are not on the agenda of heaven. We are investing in things more than ourselves and each other. We must start growing and developing and fighting for our legacy, our families, when souls are the only thing, you can take to heaven with you.

As children one of the first things, we do is learn to color within the lines. I was the youngest of four children. I was the last to go to kindergarten. I was the last to learn what my siblings already knew and one of those things was how to color in the lines. One of the things I admired most about my sister that was a year older than me, was to watch her color. I couldn’t wait to learn how to color inside the lines. However, we live in a culture that to survive in our marriages and our relationships we will have to learn to color outside the lines better.

The American dream and in years past, people got married young. This can be seen as coloring inside the lines of the norms of society. They got married before the baby carriage came. We know that the culture has changed. We now have some two parent homes, and both are working full time to survive, and the kids are being raised by the nanny or the daycare. Our babies are away from us sometimes 10- 12 hours a day and the monotony starts over each day. The woman is working just as long hours as the husband and still required to cook, clean and be the loving homemaker. Now we have so many unwed single parents. Some women have a scarcity mentality and are settling for just having a piece of a man and are sharing him with multiple women. Back then the man worked, and the wife was a stay-at-home mom with the kids. They stayed together but now our families look like bad pictures colored outside the lines.

We need to be okay with our own journey. Will you date or don’t date? Can God put you on preserve and you believe at the right moment like Esther that God will bring you in the kingdom? Are you okay with an arranged marriage like Abraham did for Isaac?

Esther was a virgin. You may not be a natural virgin, or you might be, but you could be a spiritual virgin. Don’t allow culture to cancel your values and kingdom principles. Are you open to finding love in the DM’s? Are you open to finding love in dating apps? Or are you still waiting for that man to walk up to you and ask you for a date? How long will you wait to get engaged? How long will you wait on God to send the right man, or will you shoot your shot as a woman? Or have you given up on men as a woman altogether and have turned to another woman? How many children will you decide to have or not? Will you marry a man that has an education or not and you have a PHD? Will you be a stay-at-home mom or a preacher that travels the world and you are a stay-at-home dad? Will you work together and build the brand together?

Will you have a baby at a late age or adopt one? Everyone has a different coloring book with a different picture. The colors you choose and the way you color your picture is completely unique to your story.

We must be okay coloring outside the lines and what that may look like.

One of my favorite love stories is Jacob and Racheal. Jacob loved Racheal and was willing to work for her for fourteen years. He pressed past what culture would have called him today a simp. What is a simp? A simp is defined as a silly or foolish person. His father-in-law tricks him after slaving for her father and he ends up with the tender-eyed sister, Leah. Then he must work another seven years to get Racheal. Let us stop here everybody. The bible doesn’t say he got her after the verbal agreement. I am going to assume that he had to wait those additional 7 years, totaling 14 years after working twice as hard to get her. How many men today would commit to this type of growing and development to get the love of their life? This is coloring outside the lines.

So, I am encouraging everyone to allow God to create your picture, enjoy your journey and don’t be afraid if your picture appears that you colored outside the lines.

Pursue, overtake and recover all

King David took all the men to fight and left the women and children unprotected. While they were out fighting, the enemy came in to steal, kill and to destroy.

Were you doing everything you knew to do and the enemy still came in?

You may be asking how this relates to you. Well, you are a man that was fighting for your family. You were working two jobs, not making much but busting your butt. You were going back to school and trying to get ahead, but your wife left because you were not making enough money to support the family. You were fighting so hard physically that when it was time to fight emotionally, you were so weak, you did not have the strength to save that marriage and she left.

Get her and your children. For some, God is saying, it is not too late. I know it looks bad because all you see are the ashes. Give him the ashes and he will exchange them for his beauty like he is doing for me. God is a God of restoration and if you are willing to do the work, he will go before you and assist you.

Let us see what happened in King David’s story and his army. When David and his men reached Ziklag three days later, they discovered that the Amalekites had raided the desert hill country. They had attacked Ziklag in David’s absence, burned it, 2 and carried away the women and all the other inhabitants whom David had left behind. None of them were killed, but they were taken captive and carried back toward Amalek.

3 So David and his men arrived in the burned city and found their wives, daughters, and sons gone, taken captive by the Amalekite raiders. 4 And when they saw this, they cried out and wept aloud until they could weep no more. 5 David’s wives, Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel, were among those carried off.

God wants you to know man of God, if you seek his face, get the strategy you need, he will give you the strength to pursue, overtake and recover all. Don’t give up on your family. For other men, God is challenging you to not give up on love and having a family just because that last relationship didn’t work out. It will be worth your pursuit. Get your family. Go start that family and be willing to begin again. May the Lord strengthen you in your pursuit. The Lord has gone before you into the enemy’s camp. I pray he gives you the strategies to ambush and catch the enemy off guard like he did for King David, his army and like he did for me. Ready, set, GO!

Pursue me

Overtake and recover all,

No matter how great or small,

the treasure,

Endeavor, 

to discover, 

Love me as my lover,

Protect me as a brother,

Let your love uncover,

the secret pearls, 

as we merge into each others worlds.

Uncover the places that I protected,

That God intercepted, 

And hid me in adversity,

Now revealing me in diversity.

Pursue me.

And recover,

Everything the enemy said we would never get,

Love me with no regret,

Bet.

All you have that we will last, 

Fast.

Cry.

Die.

Don’t ever lie.

We believe we will always win,

Always be my friend,

Pursue me.

Uncover, discover and recover all that God has secretly revealed, 

Let old wounds be healed,

Let mountains of defeat become plains,

Explore my reigns,

Talk to me,

Tell me you want to be,

My man,

That I can,

Be your wife,

Pursue me.

Let me be the love of your life.

Now and forever,

together.

Pursue me.

Trust me to be your lover, 

Trust I will cover,

You.

Let our souls become one as we live happily ever after, 

facing ever challenge, enduring the cross as we bask in his laughter.

More than Mr. Incredible

The Incredibles is one of my favorite animated movies. It is so much more than a kid’s movie. It is a family movie. We can learn so much from Bob and Helen as they live ordinary lives and yet they live managing the oxymoron that they are superheroes as Mr. Incredibles and Elastgirl. I like to see us all that love the Lord and that are called according to his purposes as superheroes’. We were sent to the earth to answer an emergency, a crisis. The father knew it would exist before time began, before he knit you in your mother’s womb. You were sent as the answer and yet you have been called to work a regular 9 to 5 job or maybe even have your own business. You cannot find joy or purpose in performing your everyday mundane duties. You know you have been called to more.

Sometimes you may feel like Bob. You believe you are held back by your wife and children from doing what you really want to pursue. I’ll never forget the day I stopped my ex-late husband, and I asked him perhaps his calling was to be a great father and a great husband. He told me he was bigger than that. See he wanted to be a famous musician and valued that more than he valued his family. He missed it.

Bob, you don’t have to choose between your family and your dream. You can have them both. While we are saving the world we must remember our families. I am older now but as I was much younger in the Lord, I received many, many prophetic words and all God was going to do for me and through me. I knew I was called to the frontlines unequivocally to do great exploits for the Lord. However, how would I get my superhero powers? It was in my marriage. The Lord let me know if I was not willing to lay my life down for my family first, then I would never lay it down for his kingdom purposes.

My favorite scene in the movie is as follows: The day of their wedding they are out saving the world and she tells Bob not to be late. He tells her he still has time. He ends up being late. Let us see how the scene plays out.

We come to learn that it’s their wedding night, as Helen is not impressed that he’s late; thinking that their last interaction was only playful banter. Bob leans in and mentions her needing to be more flexible, while she seriously tells him that he needs to be more than Mr. Incredible if they want their marriage to work.

Many need deliverance from the impostor syndrome. What is imposter syndrome? The Imposter syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like "a fraud" or "a phony" and doubting their abilities. The world sees you in your superhero costume, but you really don’t believe you can be who they believe you are but your powers work for them, but you struggle in your personal life. You almost feel like two different people. Bob was Bob and Mr. Incredible. You are you and Mr. Incredible. But for his marriage to work he could not just be the hero to the world and just Bob to his family. He would need to find harmony and be okay being both just like many of us need to do.

God wants every Helen to know for your marriage to work, you will need to be more flexible like Elastgirl. To every man like Bob, you will need to be more than Mr. Incredible for your marriage to work and God will bring the harmony and unity to bind you together with his power. Be encouraged. Fear not! It is okay to be both. :)

Bonnie and Clyde sanctified

Bonnie and Clyde were outlaws. They were straight up gangsters and did not care. They were glorified by the media. I don’t admire them for their criminal acts, but I can’t lie, I loved the fact they were not punks! They did what they did with their whole hearts. So many live half-heartedly and never accomplish anything. They rode together and they died together in their crimes. It was hard for many to even catch them. They showed the world in failure the power of what two could do if they worked together. They had the world wondering what they were going to do next.

They were a couple that was an example of failure. The father wants to change this narrative in so many marriages. He said, if two gather in his name he would be in the mist. There is power in unity. Imagine what Bonnie and Clyde could have done if they had done it with Christ. They were a force to be reckoned with.

God has so much for us, but He wants us to do it his way together and get everything He has for us. There are generational blessings that the Father has waiting for us. He wants to make some of us examples of success of what He can do in the midst of incredible odds and difficult situations. Will you rise up and dare to get everything Christ has promised you? There is room at the cross for every Bonnie and Clyde. Become criminals to HELL and get ready to rob Satan back of everything he stole from you and your generations! For all those like me that have been believing for generational restoration, God is about to release divine restoration and increase. We gone ride until the wheels fall off!

Come on and take a ride,

I’ll be your Bonnie and you’ll be my Clyde,

We gone blow up,

Bang, bang, lite em up, we got something for y’all to post about, while drinking your morning cup, 

We gone always give ‘em something talk about,

If it ain’t our getting up, it’s going be our getting out.

We gone always keep em wondering which direction we gone take,

But don’t they know, we gone always keep it 1000, and never be fake,

Bang bang light ‘em up, here we come,

Don’t they know, they ain’t gone never be able to catch us on the run,

Unpredictable, unforgettable, unconventional, 

Unexplainable, unequivocal multidimensional,

Are only a few ways,

On some days,

They will chant to sing our praise.

Long live Bonnie and Clyde, 

Cause we both came to ride and to die, 

And when they see me, they gone see you,

We gone always leave ‘em wondering what we gone do.

We gone always keep it lit,

We gone ride to the wheels fall off and never quit.

Marie's Oscars

What is the purpose of the Oscars?

To recognize and celebrate all aspects of the film industry and the diverse, talented people who make movies. All our lives are played out as movies. Everybody in our lives at various times plays a different role and has a different script. For some, these people have auditioned, and you picked them and for some of us we have allowed God to pick the main characters and supporting actors.

Denzel Washington just made a comment at the Grammy Award this year that his mom taught him. He said after being nominated 9 times and finally winning, she taught him, “Man gives you an award, but God gives you your reward.” I want God’s reward not man’s award. I believe that we should honor people for their roles in our lives. I want to name a few of the movies in my life.

I want to start specifically with my most memorable roles in my life’s movie called, Overcoming on Broken Pieces was from 2000-2005. I had several key supporting actors that encouraged me and supported me emotionally and spiritually. I want to start by saying thank you as always to my mentor, Prophetess Pamela Jones-Kent. She prayed for me and reminded me of my “yes” to pick up my cross and to keep going when my heart was broken in my marriage. She got the Oscar as she watched over my life. She shared she trusted the Lord with my life and he promised her, I would never die lost. I want to thank Dr. Carolyn Champion for all the countless hours I sat in her chair as she reminded me how much God loved me, how pleased he was with me and where she saw me in my future. I want to thank God for my dear friend Sophie Williams that ate with me most days. She helped me get a bank account and a cell phone when my ex-late husband ruined our credit. I want to thank my brother, Herbert Poole who sent me CDs of worship that carried me during that season to the other side. I want to thank my longtime friend, Valerie G. Lowe from Charisma Magazine, for supporting me and allowing God to show her who I was beyond the pain and heartbreak. I am grateful that she stayed true to her assignment without any compromise. I also want to thank Apostle John Zartuche. He prophetically announced my exodus and apostolically declared my positioning at the canal of the Res Sea of my life to get across with my children before my husband walked out. I also must give special thanks to Apostle Donald Garner. Apostle Donald Garner’s prophetic ministry kept me alive like the raven that fed Elijah when my late ex-husband walked out.

My next movie was called, Forgive and Forget was from 2006-2016. This was a time I had to survive after my divorce and move on with the kids and accept my ex-late husband was slowly dying. I want to thank my cousin for the best supporting actor, Kina Miller. When I became a runaway bride, she stepped up to the plate to pay my rent for 4 months with additional funds as needed until I could find a new job. I want to thank Pastor Jamal Miller who stepped up to help me tremendously with my son, Linford Vaughn, III. I am grateful when I wanted to start my blog, Pastor Jamal taught me how to create and maintain it for the first six months as my administrator. I want to thank my spiritual father, Dr. Apostle Matthew Stevenson, III and his wife for their ministry. He got the Oscar for covering me so many times prophetically while announcing my next seasons and teaching me the power of consecration to guard my future. I want to honor and thank my late mom, Beverly Bares, for being an emotional support during one of the most challenging seasons of my life with me with my youngest son. I want to thank Dr. Carolyn Champion and my mentor, Pamela Jones-Kent that encouraged me as a single mom that God had not forgotten about me. They both told me people would fly from all over the world to attend my wedding one day. I thank God for my mentor, Pamela Jones-Kent for giving her the dream of my wedding and praying for it in 2013, when I wasn’t as focused as I needed to be.

My next movie was called, Broken and Beautiful was from 2016-2020. I became laser focused after the conception of my daughter and began to believe God for all the things I gave birth too in my previous marriage. My cousin, Monica Coffey, got the Oscar for best supportive actor. She was there from the beginning with my daughter. I want to thank Katina Daher for giving me a baby shower. I want to thank my supportive friend, Rikki Ray, who took her condominium off the market to make sure I felt supported with my baby girl with additional resources and comfort for one extra year. She also helped me and became an intricate part of helping me start my organization, Ruth’s Vineyard during this time. I want to thank my mentor, who prayed for me the morning of her birth. I want to thank Dr. Carolyn Champion that encouraged me during my pregnancy by sharing that God was going to turn her dad’s heart.

My next movie was called, The Dawning: All things new in 2020-2023. I want to thank Dr. Apostle Matthew Stevenson, III that prophetically declared my season on March 8, 2020. He got the Oscar again for this season of my life. He let everyone know if they did not know me, they would be sorry because of where God was taking me and about to do in my life. I want to thank my cousin, Monica Coffey, who moved in during the pandemic to assist me with my daughter. I want to thank my brother and his wife, Herbert, and Janeen Poole for allowing me to transition and get established when I sold my condominium and purchased my home in Houston, Texas. I also want to thank my brother and my sister-in-law, for all the days he fixed my car, something that broke in my home and other days they watched my daughter. I also want to thank my daughters’ godparents, Mr. LeRon and Wendy Bennet for their endless love and support towards us both. I also want to thank my cousin, Monica, for every plane ticket back to Chicago to visit family and friends, all the extra money and for all her visits when I needed her comfort the most to Houston.

I want to thank my cousin, Kina Miller, for all the money and the credit card to make sure I have everything I need while I am without a job. I also want to thank my dear friends Dr. Kim Mitchell, Audrey Carter, Rena Bryson, and Sophia Williams for their monetary gifts and love and support. Now, a special thanks goes to my friend Kim Cunningham. She found a program that paid my mortgage for the last 8 months and gave me money and has been an additional support to assist my extended family. I also want to thank my mother in the Lord, Sharon A. Frazier, my spiritual Naomi. She changed my life last year on 3/29/23 as she positioned me like Ruth. I am grateful for all the countless hours she calls to encourage me and just to let me share my heart. I also want to thank Apostle Donald Garner again for his prophetic ministry over this past year, declaring and confirming exactly where God is taking me. Last but not least, I want to thank my intercessor and former boss, Ingrid Dieudonne for all her prayers and believing in my dreams and where God is taking me next.

 May the Lord reward you all richly both now and in eternity in Jesus name.

God is connecting the dots

Steve Jobs said, “You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you must trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” Steve Jobs was the CEO of Apple and Pixar animation. He did a speech at Stanford University in 2005 and shared some profound truths he lived by. These truths helped him in hindsight to connect the dots from his past into his future.

God wants you to know he is about to make it all make sense. The divorce. The loss of the child. The reason you had to move. The heartbreak that you thought was the one. He shares how he dropped out of Reed college after 6 months or so but hung around for another 18 months before he completely quit. He goes on to pose a question. Why did he drop out? He said it started before he was even born.

It’s amazing that he is able to connect the first dot from birth. This is where it started for us all as well. He goes on to share that his biological mother was a young unwed graduate student and decided to put him up for adoption. She felt very strongly that he should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was set for Steve to be adopted by a lawyer and his wife. They decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl and changed their minds.

His parents that were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night that they had an unexpected baby boy and they asked did they want him. They said of course and his biological mother found out that his mother had never graduated from college and that his father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers and only relented a few months later when his parents promised he would go to college. This was his start.

What was your start? Were you placed for adoption because your parents were unwed? Were you placed for adoption because your mom just didn’t want any more children and you were unexpected? Where you conceived out of adultery and placed for adoption? Were you taken out of your family’s home because you were being neglected and abused? No matter what the circumstance, God is about to connect the dots for you.

Steve started college 17 years later as promised and he chose a college that was as expensive as Stanford. All his working-class parents’ savings were being spent for his education and after 6 months he couldn’t see the value in it anymore. Steve said he did not know what he wanted to do with his life but looking back it was one of the best decisions he made in his life.

What decisions did you make in your past that you can say like Steve that was one of the best decisions you made in my life? For me walking away from my oldest son’s father at 20 years old was one of the best decisions I made in my life at that time.

Steve stopped taking the classes he no longer was interested in and began to drop in on courses that did. He no longer had a dorm room nor a meal plan. He began to make small investments into his future of sacrifice still very much uncertain of his next career move. Can you look back at a season in your life and see where your seamless small investments are now paying off big time?

Steve goes on to share how he stumbled into a calligraphy course. He absolutely loved it and had no idea how it would ever have any significance in his life. It began to make sense ten years later when he started designing the first Macintosh computer with beautiful topography. Can you look back and see how something from your past has now become a stable in your life that is now huge and has changed the course of your destiny?

Steve connects the dots by saying if he had never dropped out of college, he would have never dropped in that class and the Macintosh and windows computers would never have had the beautiful topography he implemented into their designs.

If my ex-late husband had not left and our marriage had not ended in divorce, I wouldn’t have the ministry of reconciliation God is about to give me and my next husband for ministry. Some lessons we had to learn else they would have never led us to this moment without them. Get ready, God is about to connect the dots and you are about to clearly see the big picture. It was necessary.