The Father knew when he created humanity that there would come a time and space, a day, a place where we would be wounded. Wounded beyond our intellect and comprehension to be able to articulate the pain of our experience. God knew words would fail us, so he gave us tears. So, I wept. Tears have a language that are transcribed in the corridors of heaven.

They are so important to God that King David shared with us in Psalm 56:8 (NLT) what God does with our tears.

8 You keep track of all my sorrows.
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.

Take a moment to think about this and open your heart to his spirit to begin to heal you when words fail you, weep.

The word says in Proverbs 18:14 (NKJV)

14 The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness,
but who can bear a broken spirit?

In our complexity as humans God placed within our spirits the capacity to sustain the weight of a physical sickness but not for us to be able to bear a broken spirit. How can our spirit be broken? I am glad you asked. The bible says by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. What or who has broken your heart?

Jesus said he is nigh unto those that are of a broken heart and save such that be of a contrite spirit. I was so broken-hearted that I did not want to live anymore when my husband decided our marriage was over. I loved him but God was about to teach me how to love him like he loved him. I wasn’t weeping over what I had with my late ex-husband. I was weeping because of what we didn’t have and I desired and not just for me.

Are you in a broken marriage and you are ready to give up? I knew about hell. I had read the books. I was ready to commit suicide. He challenged me to lay my life down for him because there was no greater love than this, least a man lay down his life for his friends. God wanted me to know how he loves us in our sin. He wanted me to know how important one soul is to him. He wanted me to know that he did not come for the righteous. He wanted me to know that love covers a multitude of sins. He wanted me to know that when I learned to love like Him then I would pass from death to life.

He wanted me to know how much he had forgiven me of in my sins, and I did not deserve it and I too needed to forgive. This was my cross. This is where He had chosen for me to die with Him. He wanted me to know how much he loved me when I was so unlovely. He wanted me to know that in my weakness, his strength was made perfect. He was rooting and grounding me in his love, making me more like Him. He was branding me with his love in my furnace of affliction.

When my marriage ended in divorce, I reminded the Lord, of all the fasting, all the years I wept, all the money I gave in offerings, all the days I stood and honored my marriage, and I believed in that moment nothing had changed. I could do nothing but weep some more. I wept because I lost something that meant so much to me, but it was not until two days before my ex-husband’s death, years after my divorce that the spirit of God fell on me on August 19, 2012. I wept and wept that Sunday morning in church, not knowing he had been in the hospital three weeks, not knowing that he had decided to take his oxygen mask off because his lungs were no longer operable. I wept reminding God that he promised to save my family, which is all I could say…was you promised…. you promised. I received a call from his mother less than 48 hours later that he had passed.

It did not end the way I thought it would but God honored my sacrifices when we were one and brought him home. It was bigger than my marriage. I knew my marriage was connected to my ministry. I often used to tell others during these years, i couldn’t wait to read the books in heaven one day that were created from all the years I wept for a love I desired but not just for me but for my legacy. I wanted to leave a legacy of love. I knew those books held my love story and my desire for my generations now and to come.

Give him your tears and allow him to finish your story and never, ever give up on what God has given you. God has opened those books and is yet revealing the tears I wept. God didn’t make me wait until I got to heaven. He is revealing my love story. Allow God to heal you and finish and reveal your love story too. Your tears are not in vain. There is going to come a season, that God is going to wipe every tear away and give you a harvest of joy!

I wept

To find words, I'd have to go to God’s library of knowledge, 

Take a trip through the universe and come back from heaven’s college,

Because earthly words failed me from the English language,

as I languished,

and anguished,

to adequately translate my tears.

So, I wept. 

For a love,

that could only come from above,

while the angels collected,

redirected and protected your life,

while God was making me a wife.

I wept from a place of intimacy where we shared secrets that were concealed,

Before we were placed in our mothers' wombs,

Longing to be revealed, 

as i was being healed.

God knew from the day of our ordination and conception,

at the point of inception, 

we would connect,

Chosen before time as two of His elect, 

I wept for a love that we shared in eternity before time and space,

I wept for the day we would come face to face,

I wept for the moment I would feel your embrace,

I wept while God wrote our story, 

Making us special representatives of his grace and his glory.

I wept as deep called unto deep,

So, you would recognize me when God woke you from your sleep, 

and told you I was yours to keep. 

I wept for the day you would say I do,

For the day your spirit would join with me,

from eternity,

For the day, you would remember I already loved you.