The crushing

I recently watched a movie called Ruth and Boaz, a modern-day version of the biblical love story between Ruth and Boaz. Boaz, in this retelling, owns a distillery and understands the sacred value of the crushing. He doesn’t dismiss Ruth as damaged goods or see her through the lens of her past. Instead, he sees her — truly sees her — as the treasure she is.

On their first date, something profound happens: Boaz washes Ruth’s feet, an act of humility and honor. Then, he invites her to join him in crushing grapes. The symbolism is breathtaking. Before the wine can flow, the grapes must first be crushed. Before the fragrance of purpose can be released, something must be broken.

Jesus said that in order to receive new wine, we must also receive a new wineskin. Without it, the new wine will burst the old container, and both will be destroyed. So often in relationships, we long for the beauty of the new — new love, new intimacy, new beginnings — yet resist the breaking process that prepares us to hold it.

In love and marriage, there are seasons of romantic bliss where everything feels effortless, and then there are seasons where the weight of the relationship feels like pressure — like crushing. But these moments are not designed to destroy us; they are opportunities for transformation. The crushing refines what’s inside us and makes the love more potent, more enduring, more alive.

In DeVon Franklin’s new movie, there’s a powerful scene where the distillery was intentionally set on fire and Boaz believes everything was destroyed. Until, he tasted the wine. When you endure the crushing, there is a drink offering that is produced, called new wine. The flames didn’t destroy the wine — they deepen its flavor. Likewise, in love, the fires of testing aren’t meant to consume the relationship but to concentrate its essence. True love, like fine wine, must survive both the fire and the crushing to release its most exquisite form.

When God is at the center, even the pressure produces promise. What once felt like breaking becomes becoming. The relationship becomes the vessel — the new wineskin — that holds what God has refined through time, faith, and perseverance.

So if you find yourself in a season of pressure, remember: God is not punishing you. He’s preparing you. The crushing is not the end — it’s the beginning of something new, fragrant, intoxicating and lasting.

Because love that has been crushed, pressed, and preserved through fire is the kind of love that never loses its flavor.

Hold on to your song

I won’t Hang My Harp on the Willow Trees

Have you ever felt like you were supposed to be married — that God confirmed it, gave you the details, aligned the testimony — only for the person to reject you? That kind of heartbreak feels like exile. Your heart is taken captive, and instead of celebrating love, you’re left grieving the life you thought you would be living by now.

That’s what Israel felt in Babylon. Psalm 137 says, “We hanged our harps upon the willows… for they that carried us away captive required of us a song.” The enemy had the audacity to mock them: “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!” How do you sing when everything you hoped for has been stripped away?

Israel ended up in exile because of their own disobedience. God warned them through Jeremiah, but they kept rejecting His word. They thought it would be a quick season, but God told them it would last seventy years. Even though disobedience brought them there, God still had a plan: “I know the thoughts I think toward you… to give you a future and a hope.”

I can relate. God gave a man every confirmation about me. Our stories, our adversity, our callings lined up letter for letter. God kept warning him to set himself apart, to choose obedience over compromise. But he hardened his heart, season after season, choosing woman after woman. Finally, God let him choose what he wanted — not the one He prepared.

And this is where many men and women miss it. We self-sabotage. Instead of committing to God, we run into entanglements. Instead of being set apart and waiting for His timing, we chase what feels good in the moment. We think God isn’t present in our “strange land” seasons, but He is. Just like He told Israel to build houses and plant gardens in Babylon, He wants us to live, grow, and thrive even when life doesn’t look like what we expected.

That’s the kingdom word for today: Stop despising where God has you, even if disobedience, heartbreak, or rejection landed you there. His will still stands in the middle of the mess.

The hardest part is the audacity of the enemy. After heartbreak, it feels like the world mocks you: “Sing your song now. Where’s your joy? Where’s your hope?” It’s the same cruelty Israel faced — being taunted to sing in a land of sorrow. Rejection will try to silence you, but here’s the truth: You still have a song.

I won’t hang my harp on the willow trees. I refuse to let heartbreak, delay, or rejection stop my worship or my hope for the future. The love I fought for and all the battles; I won secretly to continue to love and overcome will not be in vain. I loved outloud. I will continue to encourage others that God is still the God that is able. I dont know how or when but I know God can. One day I will love again and my next marriage will bring God great glory and honor because I loved Him and even when my heart was broken, I kept going and so should you. Because exile isn’t the end. Disobedience didn’t erase God’s plan for Israel, and rejection won’t erase God’s plan for me — or for you.

Sometimes relationships don’t turn out the way we thought God said. Sometimes the person can even hear from God and still harden their heart. But if Israel’s story teaches us anything, it’s that God’s plan is bigger than people’s choices, His timeline is deeper than our disappointment, and His freedom is greater than our captivity. Even in a strange land, He will give us back our song and we will be like them one day that dreamed again.

Psalm 126:1 When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream.

You Can’t Order a Wife Like a Robot

We live in a world today where technology has advanced to the point that people can design and order a robot companion. Artificial intelligence has created machines that can cook, clean, and mimic human behavior to the point of feeling almost real. Some of these robots are even designed for sexual use, simulating intimacy in a way that many believe can replace human connection. But no matter how advanced technology becomes, a robot cannot replace the divine design of marriage. A wife is not something you can assemble like a robot from a box or order online; she is a gift from God.

When God created Adam, He did not give him multiple women to choose from. He gave him one woman, Eve, divinely fashioned for his life and his assignment in the earth. The next level of favor in a man’s life is connected to the wife he chooses. Scripture says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). That favor is not attached to just anyone—it is connected to the one God has ordained.

Today, men may feel like they have endless options, but the Garden of Eden shows us God’s original intent. It was not about variety or preference; it was about destiny. Eve was designed for Adam, and Adam had to recognize her, receive her, and call her what God created her to be. God created and built Eve with a womb—not only a natural womb for children but also a spiritual capacity to carry, nurture, and multiply what was entrusted to Adam. In the same way, the one God has chosen for a man’s assignment will be built and divinely aligned for that assignment.

I recently heard a podcast where the guest made a profound statement: “When you choose someone that is not your person, you automatically create a void of inadequacy and tramua in that person.” This is powerful. When a man chooses outside of God’s will, he not only hinders his own destiny, but he also wounds the woman who was never called to carry that assignment. Misaligned choices create cycles of brokenness, disappointment, and striving, because the relationship was never rooted in divine purpose.

This brings us to the question of calling and predestination. Scripture says, “Many are called, but few are chosen” (Matthew 22:14). To me, this means many are called to assignments, but only those who prepare themselves through separation, obedience, and maturity are chosen to walk in them. In every house, there are vessels of honor and vessels of dishonor. Judas, called the son of perdition, had a role to play even though his purpose was to betray. Yet, Jesus still loved him. Peter, on the other hand, was prayed for, restored, and became a vessel of honor. The difference wasn’t that one was loved and the other wasn’t—it was that one surrendered to transformation and the other did not.

The same applies in relationships. A man cannot simply order a wife to his liking, assembling qualities as if from a catalog. Nor can he replace her with a robot that simulates intimacy. Artificial connections may offer safety, but they can never produce covenant.

Adam named Eve—not God—because Adam recognized she would become “the mother of all living.” Men today must ask themselves: are you able to recognize the woman God has presented to you? Can you call her what heaven has destined her to be in your life?

This is a call back to God’s design. Men are called to love not with inordinate affection or shallow desire, but with the love of Christ—the love that sacrifices, nurtures, and protects. Women are not toys, nor replacements for loneliness. They are God’s creation, divinely aligned with a man’s purpose.

The question is not whether God has called you—He has. The question is: have you prepared yourself to be chosen?

The classroom of love

God is love, and deep down, every one of us is searching for it. Some search in the right places, while others stumble through the wrong ones, hoping to find something that will satisfy the ache in their souls. For some, love has become so distorted by disappointment that they echo the words of an old song: “What’s love got to do with it?” But the truth is—love has everything to do with it.

I will never forget March 21, 2023. I stood at my aisle that morning believing it would be just another day. Yet it became the precursor to one of the most unforgettable semesters of my life.

God spoke something into my spirit so clearly that I posted it on Facebook:

“I remember when we were kids in school, and the teacher got ready to take attendance. We had to say PRESENT. I heard Present loud in my spirit. Make sure you are present and in your seat!!! God is getting ready to call your name again. PRESENT!!!”

Eight days later, on March 29, my life shifted. That morning, love called my name. God revealed to me that I did not have to chase love through dating. My future husband would find me. And though he never literally called my name, love did.

I prayed that God would allow my husband’s love to unlock my heart without questions. And in the beginning, it was beautiful—an unexpected journey of restoration. I felt like I was fifteen years old again. My heart was being restored immediately. I quickly discovered what it meant not only to love but to be in love. He was intentional, doing the work, saying the right words. We had divine alignment.

But then the exams began.

Love’s classroom is not without tests. I found myself learning lessons that only experience could teach. I had to study hard—through tough conversations, unhealthy boundaries, rejection, confusion, comparison, and even the heat of fiery trials. I checked off the boxes of patience, kindness and love keeps no record of wrong. I stayed in my seat even when it was uncomfortable, because God had enrolled me in the class.

Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13 became more than verses on a page; they became the study guide of my soul:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

When fear made him draw back, I chose to stay present. When doubt tried to whisper, I remembered that God had sent me and love never fails. Even when my name wasn’t called right away, I knew I was in the right class, the right seat, and I was not late—I was right on time.

Love’s classroom isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. Just like when I was a little girl who had to say “present” when her teacher called roll, I had to present myself fully to the lessons of love. To remain seated even when it was difficult. To trust that God, the greatest Teacher of all, was guiding the curriculum of our hearts. I believed he was taking the same test and always hopeful he was passing like me.

And here’s what God showed me: we have to be able to pass our final comprehensive exam called the curriculum of crisis when it is time to cross over to the other side. Pastor Dharius Daniels said it best: the weather didn’t change the word. It’s the same answer He gave you on the shore before the storm. Because even when the storm itself can’t destroy you, your reaction and decision to the storm can. Don’t self-sabotage.

The journey was not easy, but it was worth it. Every test and trial has become a page in my textbook of faith and love. And with every lesson, God reminded me: I passed and came forth as pure gold. God will honor me because I honored Him and obeyed. I encourage you to obey God as well even when the storm is raging and you believe Jesus doesn’t care like the disciplines questioned Jesus.

So, if you find yourself in love’s classroom today, don’t run from the exams. Don’t change seats. Don’t leave when it gets hard. Stay present. Stay teachable. Stay rooted in the truth that God is love, and His love never fails even if he doesn’t call your name. Love will call you again.

Walk it out

Walk It Out: Trusting God in the Sacrifice

“The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” — Genesis 22:7

When we reflect on Abraham’s test on Mount Moriah, it’s easy to focus on the drama of the sacrifice. But tucked inside that story is a deeper truth: Abraham’s obedience itself was worship. Worship is more than songs we sing on Sunday—it’s surrendering to God when the cost feels unbearable.

Abraham didn’t know how the story would end when God asked for Isaac. He simply obeyed. For three long days, he walked without answers, until finally he lifted his eyes and saw the mountain from afar. That moment matters: God didn’t show him the destination until he was already walking in obedience. The revelation came step by step, not all at once.

That’s how God leads us too. We crave the whole map, but He often only gives us the next step. And as we keep moving forward in trust, He reveals what we could not see before.

The Test of Obedience

Isaac wasn’t just Abraham’s son; he was the promise fulfilled—the miracle child born after 25 years of waiting, praying, and believing. To lay Isaac on the altar meant handing back the very thing Abraham had wept for, rejoiced over, and cherished.

Sometimes God asks us for what we treasure most. It can feel cruel, like He’s stripping away the very thing He gave us. But His intent is never destruction—it’s revelation. He was preparing to reveal Himself as Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides.

Hebrews 11 tells us Abraham believed that even if Isaac died, God could raise him back to life. That’s radical obedience: trusting the outcome to God when His request makes no sense.

Isaac’s Perspective

We rarely pause to consider Isaac’s side of the story. He noticed something was missing: “Where is the lamb?” And when it became clear that he was the sacrifice, fear and confusion must have overwhelmed him. Yet Isaac submitted—not just to his father, but ultimately to God.

Like Isaac, many of us have been placed on an altar we didn’t choose. Maybe it was through the decisions of parents, leaders, or circumstances beyond our control. It hurt, it felt unfair, maybe even destructive. But even there, God meets us. Those moments aren’t the end—they become the place where we personally discover God’s provision.

On Mount Moriah, Isaac came to know God not only through Abraham’s faith, but through his own encounter with the God who provides.

Modern Parallels

Maybe you’ve been there. You’ve fought for something you believed in, only to face restrictions or setbacks that made no sense. I’ve walked through seasons where I felt like Isaac—like the sacrifice on the altar of someone else’s obedience.

But here’s what I want every wife or future wife to know: you are not the sacrifice. Jesus is and always will be. Just as God provided a ram for Abraham, He will provide for you. Your obedience, your waiting, your surrender—it has not been in vain. God didn’t bring you this far to leave you. He will keep His promises to you and to your Abraham.

God doesn’t use delays or tests to punish us but to shape us. He’s building trust, stretching faith, and positioning us for revelation. At the right moment, the ram will appear.

A Message for the Isaacs and the Abrahams

• To the Isaacs: The test you’re facing is not meant to consume you, but to reveal God’s faithfulness. You are not the burnt offering. You are an heir to the promise.

• To the Abrahams: Your obedience matters. The people walking with you—your spouse, your children, your team—are not the sacrifice. They are part of the inheritance God is safeguarding.

Both Abraham and Isaac had to walk it out. Both had to trust God in the unknown. And both discovered that God’s plan was greater than their fear.

The Lord Will Provide

Genesis 22 ends with hope: “Abraham looked up, and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns.” Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide.

That’s not just his story—it’s ours. Whatever altar you’re standing before today, keep walking. Trust God with the promise. What feels like it’s about to be destroyed is the very thing God intends to preserve.

Fear is not your future. Provision is. Keep walking it out, and watch God reveal Himself as Jehovah Jireh.

🎶 My Greatest Hits: A Prayer Strategy for Marriage Preparation

🎶 My Greatest Hits: A Prayer Strategy for Marriage Preparation

In music, some of the most iconic artists release a Greatest Hits album—songs that define their journey, the ones that still resonate years later. In relationships, we can think of our experiences the same way. Every heartbreak, disappointment, and lesson learned becomes part of our own greatest hits collection. Some songs remind us of pain, but others remind us of the growth that pain produced.

I’ve learned that the blows of past relationships didn’t come to make me bitter—they came to make me better. Adversity is God’s training ground, and every “hit” I’ve taken has become a stepping stone toward the covenant marriage I’m praying for. Today, I look back and realize: I don’t just have scars, I have strategy.

Here are 🎶 My Greatest Hits: A Prayer Strategy for Marriage Preparation.

Hit #1: Submission to Godly Counsel

Scripture: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” (Proverbs 15:22)

Lesson learned: A spouse who resists godly counsel will struggle to lead in covenant.

Prayer: Lord, align my spouse’s heart with humility. Surround him with wise voices, and let him be quick to obey You when You reveal me to him.

🎶 Song Pair: “For You I Will” – Monica

Hit #2: Purity of Heart & Clarity of Vision

Scripture: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8)

Lesson learned: A pure heart sees clearly. Clouded hearts lead to confusion and rejection in love.

Prayer: Father, purify my spouse’s heart. Remove distractions, deception, and wounds that blur his vision. Let him see me through Your eyes.

🎶 Song Pair: “You mean that much to me” – Chrisette Michele

Hit #3: God’s Love First, Spouse’s Love Next

Scripture: “We love Him because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

Lesson learned: No one can love well until they’ve been filled with God’s love and they love themselves first.

Prayer: Lord, reveal to my spouse the depth of Your love. May his love for me overflow from his revelation of how much you love him.

🎶 Song Pair: “A Couple of Forevers” – Chrisette Michele

Hit #4: Validation from God, Not People

Scripture: “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?” (Galatians 1:10)

Lesson learned: A secure spouse isn’t shaken by applause—or the lack of it.

Prayer: Father, let my spouse rest in Your approval. Keep him steady even when human affirmation feels scarce.

🎶 Song Pair: “Give Myself” – Jennifer Hudson

Hit #5: Freedom from Soul Ties & Boundaries in Place

Scripture: “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

Lesson learned: Ungodly soul ties suffocate intimacy. Healthy boundaries guard it.

Prayer: Lord, deliver my spouse from every unhealthy tie. Protect our relationship from distractions and ungodly counsel that would influence him to divide us. Help me to not personalize his struggles but to pray and fast for him to overcome them until he is free to be the man you called him to be.

🎶 Song Pair: “Stickwitu” – Pussycat Dolls

Hit #6: God-Conscious & Word-Rooted

Scripture: “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only.” (James 1:22)

Lesson learned: Knowing Scripture isn’t enough—it has to be applied to be transformative.

Prayer: Father, let my spouse be rooted in Your Word. May he not just hear it, but do it, aligning his convictions with mine.

🎶 Song Pair: “Primetime” – Janelle Monáe (feat. Miguel)

Hit #7: Unity of Vision & Purpose

Scripture: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3)

Lesson learned: We have to continue to grow together. Challenge each other even when the truth is hard and cuts and believe that differences aren’t deficits and unity isn’t uniformity. It’s harmony.

Prayer: Lord, align our callings. Merge our visions. May we walk together in agreement and divine alignment.

🎶 Song Pair: “What I Needed”-Chandler Moore and “Made for me”-Muni Long

Hit #8: Identity & Recognition Without Striving

Scripture: “Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.’” (Genesis 2:23)

Lesson learned: The right spouse recognizes you with Gods revelation knowledge.

Prayer: Father, let my spouse recognize me as Adam recognized Eve. May I never shrink to fit insecurity, but flourish in who You’ve called me to be.

🎶 Song Pair: “For You” – Kenny Lattimore

Hit #9: The Weight of Obedience

Scripture: “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:15–16)

Lesson learned: Every decision in marriage carries weight—obedience isn’t just personal, it’s generational.

Prayer: Lord, let my spouse walk worthy of his calling. May he understand the gravity of obedience, knowing each choice impacts our covenant now and in the future.

🎶 Song Pair: “Yes, No Questions” – Coco

Hit #10: A Vessel of Honor

Scripture: “Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.” (2 Timothy 2:21)

Lesson learned: A man who prepares himself for God’s use will willing allow God to separate himself to protect us and his future from outside threats to prepare to lead in marriage.

Prayer: Father, shape my spouse into a vessel of honor. Set him apart for Your use, equipping him to carry our assignment faithfully.

🎶 Song Pair: “I Do” – Muni Long & ToosI

Hit #11: Valuing the Work of God Over Worldly Status

Scripture: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)

Lesson learned: True worth isn’t in money, titles, or degrees—it’s in God’s work within us.

Prayer: Lord, may my spouse treasure the work You’ve done in me above worldly measures of success. Let him see the value of virtue over possessions.

🎶 Song Pair: “You Are” – Ash B

Hit #12: Covenant Love That Endures

Scripture: “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Mark 10:9)

Lesson learned: Love in marriage must endure seasons, not just moments.

Prayer: Father, give us a love that is steadfast, resilient, and unshakeable. May our bond reflect Your covenant faithfulness.

🎶 Song Pair: “Never Gonna Let You Go” – Faith, “Still” – Tamia, “Stay Together” – Ledisi & Jaheim

Hit #13: Present & Intentional Love

Scripture: “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.” (Ruth 1:16)

Lesson learned: Love is about showing up, being present, and choosing each other daily.

Prayer: Lord, let my spouse be intentional in love, present in companionship, and steady in devotion. May our love reflect the loyalty of Ruth and Boaz.

🎶 Song Pair: “Where You Are” – Leela James, “Here for You” – Junetober

Hit #14: A Safe Place Called Home

Scripture: “My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.” (Isaiah 32:18)

Lesson learned: Marriage should feel like home—a safe refuge filled with peace.

Prayer: Father, Let our marriage be a home where love dwells, where rest is found, and where Your presence makes us whole.

🎶 Song Pair: “Home” – Syleena Johnson, “Better with You in It” – MAJOR.

Hit #15: A Love That Mirrors God’s Crazy Grace

Scripture: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

Lesson learned: True love forgives, covers, and holds on even in imperfection.

Prayer: Lord, may our love carry the passion, forgiveness, and grace that mirrors Yours. Keep us rooted in a love that never gives up.

🎶 Song Pair: “Crazy Love” – Brian McKnight, “The One He Kept for Me” – Maurette Brown Clark, “First Time” – TEEKS, “I Love You Too” – Ledisi

Every heartbreak once felt like a broken record on repeat, but God has turned them into a playlist of hope and strategy. These prayers are my greatest hits—born from lessons, matured through loss, and sharpened in waiting.

Love, Betrayal, and Restoration

Love, Betrayal, and Restoration: Jesus and Peter as a Picture of Marriage

When we look at Peter’s relationship with Jesus, it mirrors the same highs and lows we often see in marriage.

Think of how Jesus first encountered Peter. He didn’t find him successful or thriving — He found him weary, sitting in a boat after a long night of fishing with nothing to show for it. No success, no breakthrough, just empty nets. Then Jesus stepped into his world and gave him a net-breaking miracle — so many fish that Peter had to call other boats to help. That moment changed Peter’s life. He left behind his boat, his job, his old identity, to follow the One who had awakened something in him.

That’s like a woman saying yes to a man who believes in her when she has no bag to bring. He sees her potential, invests in her, and gives her a future. Jesus didn’t just bless Peter with fish — He developed him into a leader, entrusted him with vision, and drew him into the most intimate places of His life: the Mount of Transfiguration, the raising of Jairus’ daughter, and even the Garden of Gethsemane. Peter wasn’t just one of many; he was part of the inner circle.

In marriage terms, it’s like a man opening his world fully to his future bride. He’s bought the home, given her the ring, shared his secrets and dreams, and entrusted her with his heart.

But then comes betrayal. For Peter, it was denial. On the very night Jesus needed him most, Peter swore three times that he didn’t even know Him. For a man, that’s like discovering the woman you love has broken trust — maybe she’s still entertaining someone she swore was in the past, maybe it’s financial dishonesty, or maybe she simply didn’t show up when you needed her most. Betrayal cuts deeply because it’s not from a stranger, but from the one you invested your all into.

Most men would have walked away. They’d say, “I gave you everything, and you failed me — I’m done.” But Jesus didn’t treat Peter that way. After the resurrection, He met him on the shoreline and asked him three times, “Do you love Me?” — the same number of times Peter denied Him. Each “yes” became a healing balm for every “I don’t know Him.” Jesus wasn’t humiliating Peter; He was restoring him, reinstating him, and preparing him for purpose.

We see the same kind of love earlier in Scripture through Joseph, Mary’s husband. Imagine his position — the woman he loved is pregnant, and he knows the child isn’t his. Any man would feel betrayed. Joseph, being honorable, planned to put her away quietly. Most men would have walked away, and no one would have blamed him. But God stepped in and told him, “Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for what is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.” Joseph chose obedience over pride. He stayed when most would have left, and in doing so, he aligned himself with destiny.

Both Joseph and Jesus reveal the heart of covenant love. Ephesians 5 calls men to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. That means covering her flaws, praying for her faith not to fail, restoring her when she stumbles, and preparing her to stand in her calling.

Covenant love is not weak. It doesn’t walk away at the first sign of betrayal. It restores, renews, and looks beyond present pain to future purpose. It says, “I see your blind spots, but I also see who you are becoming. And I will love you until you grow into it.”

That is the love Christ modeled with Peter. That is the love Joseph modeled with Mary. And that is the love God calls us to in marriage — a love that endures, restores, and redeems.

The question is, Are you ready to love like this?

Blessed

Loving Like Jesus: How to Lead When She’s Doubting

When Jesus heard Thomas express doubt, He didn’t rebuke him.

He didn’t shame him.
He didn’t withdraw His love.
He didn’t say, “After everything I’ve done for you?”
Instead… He came back — just for him.

Thomas missed the first resurrection appearance. And when the other disciples told him Jesus was alive, he couldn’t receive it. His heart was too broken. His faith too fragile. His words were raw:

“Unless I see the nail marks in His hands… I will not believe.” (John 20:25)

Eight days later, Jesus returns — and walks straight toward Thomas.

“Put your finger here. See My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Stop doubting and believe.” (John 20:27)

Jesus didn’t dismiss Thomas’s pain — He honored it with presence.
He didn’t retaliate for the doubt — He responded with compassion.
He didn’t ask Thomas to earn trust — He extended it, again.

Now let’s talk relationships.

Every man who desires to love his wife like Christ loves the Church must learn to lead through her moments of uncertainty — just like Jesus did.

Sometimes she’s not doubting you — she’s doubting if love like this can be real. She’s doubting if she’s safe. If she’s covered. If she can trust again. Especially if she’s lived through betrayal, abuse, rejection, or silence before.

When you see doubt in her — don’t take it personal. Take it as an invitation to show up.

Because love doesn’t just preach — it proves.
It doesn’t just quote Scripture — it lives it.

Jesus Was Still Wounded — But He Was Healed

Jesus didn’t hide His scars. He said “See them. Touch them.”

So brothers — you don’t have to pretend to be perfect. But can you be healed enough to offer your scars without shame? Healed enough to say, “I’ve been through something too — but I’m here to cover you.”

When your wife or partner is doubting, can you:

• Offer presence instead of punishment?

• Speak peace instead of proving a point?

• Remind her of what’s true — not what’s broken?

Paul wrote, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25)

That means sacrifice. That means leadership rooted in humility. That means loving her in weakness — not waiting for her to be strong.

Gentle Doesn’t Mean Weak — It Means Christlike

You don't have to raise your voice to prove you're a man.
You don’t have to withdraw to teach her a lesson.
You don’t have to retaliate to feel respected.

Love her anyway. Cover her anyway. Pursue her anyway.

Because Jesus met Thomas in his doubt — and called him blessed.

When Consecration Costs: The Lessons of Samson for a Self-Exalted Age

There are moments in prayer when heaven presses a story into your spirit so deeply that it feels as though the text itself breathes. Recently, as I lingered before the Lord, He led me into the life of Samson—a man chosen, consecrated, and set apart, yet undone by compromise.

The Scriptures tell us: “They gouged out his eyes and made sport of him.” Those words are not just about physical blindness; they represent the tragedy of squandered destiny. Samson was no ordinary man. He was born after forty years of Israel’s oppression, announced by an angel, and consecrated from the womb. His very existence was heaven’s answer to a national cry. Samson wasn’t just gifted—he was sent. Yet, though consecrated, he lived carelessly with what was sacred.

Again and again, Samson relied on the residue of past encounters with the Spirit, shaking himself as though the anointing were his personal possession. But there came a day when he rose to fight, and the Word declares: “He did not know that the Lord had departed from him.” That line pierces me still. How often do we treat lightly what heaven has required of us, assuming grace will cover what obedience was meant to secure?

Samson’s final act in the temple of Dagon is often celebrated—“he killed more in his death than in his life.” Yet was that really victory? His death was dramatic, yes, but it was not fulfillment. He was called to deliver Israel, not simply to collapse with his enemies. His incomplete obedience left a nation vulnerable. One man’s inability to honor the cost of his calling had generational consequences.

Even in his brokenness, Samson prayed, “Lord, remember me.” But his prayer was not for Israel’s deliverance—it was for personal vengeance. He asked a little boy to place him between the pillars, never realizing that the boy’s simple act of support would also seal his own fate. How many lives were lost that day because of one man’s self-seeking act? Samson’s story is sobering: calling is not about us, and our failures affect more than ourselves.

And yet—does this not mirror our culture today? In 2025, we live in a world that exalts self above surrender. We brand disobedience as freedom, call self-promotion destiny, and measure worth by applause rather than alignment. We love to boast, “My flex is that God never took his hand off of me” or “everything attached to me wins”—but is that truly the testimony of consecration? Jesus said plainly: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever does not is not worthy of me.”

The truth is sobering: our lives are not our own. When God sets us apart, we no longer get to live casually. There are places we cannot go, relationships we can’t be entangled with, and shortcuts we cannot take—not because God is cruel, but because destiny requires consecration. To whom much is given, much is required. Samson forgot that. We must not.

If Samson teaches us anything, it is this: the call of God is holy, and to treat it lightly is to invite ruin. May we not die with unfulfilled purpose. May we not confuse grace for permission. And may we, above all, embrace the cost of our calling—because obedience, not self, is the true mark of power.

✊✋✌️ Rock, Paper, Scissors — and the Blueprint That Still Stands

Choosing Purpose Over Peace in Marriage

In the children’s game Rock, Paper, Scissors, each move beats something and loses to something else. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes scissors. Scissors cut paper.

But in God’s kingdom, when it comes to building marriage and family, there’s only one winning move: the Rock.

Not the rock of stubbornness. Not the rock of “my way or no way.”

The Rock that Jesus spoke of when He told Peter:

“Upon this rock I will build My church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)

That rock was revelation from the Father. Not feelings. Not cultural trends. Not even the desire to “just keep the peace.”

🪨 Rock — Building on Purpose & Revelation

In Genesis, Adam recognized Eve not through trial and error or dating compatibility tests, but through a God-given revelation:

“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” (Genesis 2:23)

God’s blueprint for marriage has always been purpose + revelation. Adam and Eve were created to walk in dominion, multiply, and steward God’s creation — not just to meet each other’s emotional needs.

When you build your marriage on the Rock (Christ and His word), storms can beat against it, but it will stand (Matthew 7:24-25).

📄 Paper — The Illusion of Peace

In the game, paper covers rock — and in life, paper-thin peace can temporarily cover cracks in a relationship.

But Jesus warned us:

“Do not think that I came to bring peace; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. A man’s enemies will be members of his own household.” (Matthew 10:34-36)

Choosing peace over purpose can look noble but is often dangerous. Peace without truth is fragile — it folds under pressure. The sword Jesus brings is His word, cutting between truth and falsehood, purpose and pretense.

A marriage built only on keeping the peace will crumble when conflict tests it.

✂️ Scissors — Cutting with Emotions & Realism

Scissors represent the sharp, reactive choices we make out of hurt, fear, or so-called “realism.”

Emotions are powerful, but they are not the foundation. Realism can help you plan, but it cannot reveal God’s purpose. Peter didn’t figure out Jesus’ identity with logic or emotion — he received revelation from the Father.

If scissors become your go-to move in marriage — always cutting away when things get hard — you may sever what God joined together.

🔑 The Winning Move in Life and Marriage

If marriage is Rock, Paper, Scissors, the blueprint of God’s kingdom flips the rules: The Rock always wins.

• Paper peace without purpose? The Rock still stands.

• Scissor emotions trying to cut covenant? The Rock still stands.

• Culture’s redefinitions? The Rock still stands.

Like Noah, we must build exactly according to God’s instructions — even when people laugh, misunderstand, or walk away. Because when the floods come, only the marriage built on the Rock will remain.

🕊️The blueprint still stands — and Heaven still backs what it designed.

When the Story Doesn’t End the Way You Thought

Are you the one?

There’s a heartbreak many of us don’t talk about — when the ending we hoped for never comes.

John the Baptist knew Jesus. Not just from a distance — he was family. He leapt in the womb when Mary walked in the room. He heard God say, “The one you see the Spirit descend on — that’s the One.” He baptized Jesus. He saw heaven open. He declared, “Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.”

John knew.

I knew.

But later, locked in a prison cell, with death around the corner and no miracle in sight, John the Baptist sends his disciples to ask Jesus: “Are you the one, or should we look for another?”

"Did I miss God?"
"Was this ever real?"
"Why would He let the story end like this?"

Wait… what?

How do you go from being the forerunner of Christ to questioning everything you believed?

Because the story didn’t end the way he thought it would.

And maybe that’s where you are. You knew God spoke. You were sure God promised. You thought they were “the one.” You poured into a relationship, a marriage, a ministry — only for it to end in betrayal, abandonment, or silence. You labored, supported, and stood in faith… only for them to marry someone else, walk away, or leave you wondering if it was all in vain.

You were certain that God said it — so why didn’t He rescue it?

That’s what John was wrestling with. He had done everything right. He prepared the way. He fulfilled his calling. Yet Jesus didn’t show up to rescue him from prison. No open doors. No dramatic deliverance. Just silence.

And in that silence, doubt crept in.

But here’s what Jesus does in response — He doesn’t rebuke John’s doubt. He honors his faith.

He tells the messengers: “Go back and tell John what you’ve seen — the blind see, the lame walk, the dead are raised, and the gospel is preached to the poor. And blessed is the one who is not offended by Me.”

Translation: “Yes, John. I’m still the One. Even if I don’t come get you.”

Friend, even if the story didn’t end how you thought… even if they walked away… even if the promise didn’t come wrapped the way you imagined — God is still who He said He is.

Don’t let the heartbreak cause you to doubt the promise.

Don’t let the silence make you question what you heard in the Spirit.

Jesus didn’t fail John — and He hasn’t failed you. His ways are higher. His timing is perfect.

Because just like John, even if the story ended — it didn’t end without purpose.

Trust God with the outcome.

Because He sees the full story — and He’s still writing yours.

Gleaning like Ruth

Gleaning Like Ruth — My Journey to the Seat of Expectation

Over the past 2.5 years, I’ve lived in a quiet place like in a box waiting to be given. It hasn’t come with flashing lights or loud announcements, but through the gentle, intentional gathering of wisdom—gleaning in the fields like Ruth. As she faithfully labored behind the reapers, God instructed me to stay in place, to prepare, and to gather what He left for me on purpose.

I’m preparing for marriage—not just a wedding, but covenant. And like Ruth, I’ve learned that the field is where God matures you for Boaz, not because of him. I am waiting for my kinsman redeemer, but I’m not waiting aimlessly. I’m waiting while working. Watching. Listening. Healing. Growing.

One of the greatest gifts during this season has been the voices God used to deposit truth in me. I’m grateful for Pastor John Hannah, Pastor Darius Daniels, Sarah Jakes Roberts and her husband Touré, Apostle Matthew Stevenson III, and Pastor Keion Henderson. These shepherds have watered my spirit and clarified my preparation.

From Pastor Darius Daniels, I learned that “you decrease self-sabotage by increasing self-awareness.” That sentence alone rerouted so many of my decisions. I stayed focused on every prophetic promise. I drowned all my fears. I showed up with unconditional love. I was naked and not ashamed. I waited patiently to be chosen. He also reminded me that “truth without love is mean, love without truth is meaningless, but truth in love is medicine.” Medicine doesn’t always taste good, but it heals—and I’ve taken every dose that friendship, sermons, and silence have given me.

In his message We’ve Got Work To Do, Pastor Darius made it plain: “The devil doesn’t care if you find a person—he just doesn’t want you to find your person.” That shook me. I stopped entertaining options that diluted my purpose. I realized that compatibility isn’t confirmation.

Apostle Matthew Stevenson III challenged my emotions when he said, “The worst place to be found is in your feelings when your future comes knocking at your door.” That was a full stop for me. I began allowing the Spirit, not my feelings, to govern my decisions. Feelings fade. Futures don’t.

His teaching on “The Two” helped me understand that real covenant holds you accountable to the best version of you. Not your comfort zone, not your survival mode—the healed, whole, called you. That’s who I’m preparing to present.

Pastor Keion Henderson’s message Built to Last reminded me that “In this next season of your life, God is calling you to cure what they used to call you.” I’m not who I was. I’ve grown into the kind of woman who can love, lead, and receive. He also emphasized “attention to the details.” Marriage isn’t just chemistry, it’s construction. Details matter.

From Pastor John Hannah, I gleaned a bold truth in The Seat of Expectation: “You didn’t choose that seat—God chose it for you.” He knew I could handle the pruning and the preparation. I now expect what God promised—not from entitlement, but from intimacy. He’s a Father who keeps His word.

Sarah Jakes Roberts and Touré Roberts taught me to claim my inheritance. This is not my story—it’s God’s. He wrote it. I’m just agreeing with the script. As Sarah said: “Stop acting like your destiny is optional. Your destiny is non-negotiable.” And I now walk like it.

This season has taught me that waiting is not wasting. Preparation is not punishment. I’m not desperate—I’m discerning. I’m not stuck—I’m being strategically placed. And like Ruth, I’m not gleaning forever. The Redeemer is on His way. And I’ll be ready. God will remember me like he remembered Ruth with no promise for her future in sight but she sowed.

Takeaway:
Every sermon, every tear, every step has been part of God’s choreography. I didn’t find crumbs in the field—I found covenant instructions. I am becoming the woman that my person will pray for. Until he comes, I will keep gleaning… with expectation.

I see you now

Dear 13-Year-Old Marie,

I want to begin by saying something I couldn’t say then—I love you. I didn’t know how to at the time. I couldn’t see how rare and radiant you truly were. You were the youngest of four, tucked inside a home full of broken pieces, with a mother whose heart was shattered and unaware of her own worth. Because she couldn’t see her beauty, she couldn’t show yours.

But I see you now—sitting on that front porch, wearing that golden yellow, white, and navy striped Esprit dress. The sun is fading, and you’re racing against it to finish your homework. No lamp, no fanfare, just you and your quiet determination. That moment didn’t feel golden back then—but it glows now, forty years later, as I entered this 53rd chapter of my life. I never thought I’d live to see this day, and yet here I am, not just alive, but awakened to you—the girl I never celebrated, but who was the gift all along.

You didn’t laugh much. You didn’t have sleepovers, phone calls, balloons, candles, cake, or gifts. But you were the gift, Marie. Not because of what you had, but because of who you were becoming.

You searched for your worth in faces that resembled your own, hoping someone would reflect your value back to you. But what you didn’t know was that your brown eyes, the ones you thought were just ordinary, would one day be the very eyes through which God would show you the unseen. You would grow to see what others missed—hope buried in despair, beauty rising from ashes.

Your hands weren’t like theirs, because they weren’t meant to be. They would one day hold the broken, lift the fallen, and write truth that touches hearts. Your fingerprints would leave marks that could never be erased—because they’d been pressed into the lives of others by the very hand of God.

Your heart—sweet girl—it was branded in the furnace of affliction. Every tear became oil. Every wound became a well. You grew in the soil of rejection, and instead of turning bitter, you bloomed. You loved deeper because you had been deeply wounded. And it was that very rejection that led you to the arms of Jesus. It’s in those arms you have been pushed back into even now.

Your legs were not made to run with the crowd. They were made to stand strong like mighty oak trees, planted by the waters. No one stood up for you, so you stood for yourself—and became what you needed most. You grew roots. You became unshakable.

Your feet—small but firm—chose a path few could see. You didn’t follow the voice of the enemy, even when it echoed loudest. You walked alone, but you weren’t truly alone. God led you the long way around because He had to teach you how to fight. How to hold on. How not to give up on what—and who—you loved.

When you didn’t know how to love yourself, God gave you your children. At five years old, you said you’d have five babies—and you did. Each child taught you something sacred. And in the process, God taught you how to mother—not just them, but yourself.

You didn’t end your life at 13, though the thought came. And at 30, pregnant with your last son, you almost gave up again. But that’s when purpose began to crown. That’s when the promises, the prophecies, the words spoken over your life began to breathe and make sense. That’s when you gave birth to not just your son but your purpose.

All the weight you carried built strength in your arms. You didn't know how strong you were until you had to hold on to the altar when life came to pluck everything out of yours arms you loved. That’s why you never gave up on love, marriage, family, or your inheritance. You’ve learned to love yourself because you finally understood how much Jesus loves you.

And now, because of that love, you can tell others: Keep going. God is taking you somewhere sacred. There’s an appointment at the altar with the Father, and this time—it’s forever.

You laid your dreams down when they felt dead. You gave God your ashes when you wanted to die. And in exchange, He gave you beauty.

So today, I honor you—not just for surviving, but for becoming. I see you now, my dear one. And I love you—with all that I am.

Forever yours,

Marie

The "X" Factor

She Is the X Factor

In algebra, “X” often represents the unknown — a missing piece that changes the entire equation once it’s found. In culture, the “X factor” is that mysterious, indescribable quality that sets someone apart — the edge that can’t be measured, only felt. Spiritually, in God’s original design, woman was and still is the X factor — not an afterthought, but the finishing touch that completed and multiplied the potential of man.

When God created Adam, He gave him dominion, purpose, and provision. Yet, God Himself declared that it was “not good for man to be alone.” Not because Adam lacked identity, but because his assignment lacked expansion. So, God didn’t make a clone — He made a complement. He reached into Adam and pulled out something sacred: Eve. Formed from his side, not his feet or his head, she was made to walk with him, not beneath him or above him — a divine partner in purpose.

Biologically, the symbolism is profound. Adam had both X and Y chromosomes, but Eve was given two X chromosomes — a multiplication of what was in him. God doubled what man carried in part and introduced something man did not have: a womb — a vessel of life, legacy, and multiplication. God didn’t just add a woman to Adam’s life — He introduced the possibility of exponential impact.

The instruction was clear: “Be fruitful and multiply.” Fruitfulness doesn’t just come from presence — it comes from union. From covenant. From alignment. That’s why Scripture says, “One can chase a thousand, but two can put ten thousand to flight.” That’s not simple addition — that’s divine multiplication. That’s the power of the X factor.

But in today’s red-pill culture, marriage is often mocked, especially by men. They’re taught that a wife is a burden, that commitment is a trap, and that masculinity must be preserved through independence. Yet Proverbs 18:22 tells a different story:

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

Favor. That’s not just companionship — that’s heaven’s backing. A wife, when walking in alignment with God’s design, brings access to dimensions of grace, strategy, discernment, and spiritual covering that man alone cannot manufacture. She’s not a liability — she’s a launchpad. Not just an add-on — but the X factor that shifts the atmosphere, the vision, and the outcome.

She is the multiplier. The incubator. The intercessor. The mirror that reflects not just what is, but what could be. She can take a house and make it a home. Take a seed and produce a legacy. Take vision and give it voice.

So, to every man questioning the value of a wife in today’s culture: She is not your opponent — she is your advantage. And to every woman feeling unseen or undervalued: You are not optional — you are essential. We are essential as one. 

You are the X factor.

I am the “X” Factor.

The "Y" Combinator

🔬“Finding the Y: How God Wrote Divine Partnership into Our DNA”

In today’s world of dating apps and algorithms, people are constantly trying to solve the mystery of love and connection like a formula. But what if the divine code for partnership was already embedded in our spiritual and biological DNA?

When God created Adam, He gave him everything—dominion, resources, and purpose. That purpose was Adam’s spiritual “Y combinator”—the internal function that powered his identity and destiny. In computer science, the Y combinator is a function that enables recursion—a way for a system to call itself, grow, and build. Likewise, Adam’s “Y” was the part of him that carried the ability to fulfill God’s plan and reproduce purpose.

But even in a perfect environment, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Adam didn’t ask for help—God saw the void and drew the solution from within him. Eve wasn’t added; she was multipled from Adam’s side. This wasn’t romance—it was divine design.

⚙️ The Divine Algorithm

We often try to “solve” relationships like equations:

• If he has x + y = success, does that make him the one?

• If she looks like x and has y values, is she suitable?
  

But God’s algorithm isn’t about compatibility—it’s about purpose alignment. Spiritually and biologically, God hid wisdom in the details. The male carries the XY chromosome, while the female carries XX. It’s the male’s Y that determines the sex of the child. Naturally and spiritually, the male carries the key to direction and identity.

Without knowing his “why,” a man can produce children but not purpose. His “Y” isn’t just a chromosome—it’s a calling. When a man finds his why, he begins to live with vision. That “Y” determines where he’s going—and who is assigned to go with him.

👩🏽‍🤝‍👨🏾 The Woman: Pulled From Purpose

Eve wasn’t found—she was presented. Not based on Adam’s feelings or preferences, but from what God saw he lacked. She wasn’t created to complete a man—she was created to complement him. To amplify what was already inside of him.

This is why men must be careful not to let influence, success, or wealth blind them into thinking they no longer need what God called “help.” A man’s elevation doesn’t remove his need for divine partnership—it magnifies it.

🧠 Heaven’s Matchmaking Isn’t Mechanical

God didn’t use a formula or a compatibility quiz. He didn’t even ask Adam. He looked at His design, saw the need, and solved the problem with a solution- a woman.

So before searching for someone to solve your loneliness or fit your checklist, ask yourself: Do I know my “Y”? Do I understand the purpose I’m called to multiply?

Because just like the Y chromosome determines a child’s identity, your spiritual “why” determines your destiny. And when your “why” is clear, so is your “who.”

The Pearl of Great Price

The Pearl of Great Price – I’m Not Like Them

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” — Matthew 13:45-46

I’m not like them.
And I’ve stopped apologizing for that.

I’m as unique as you.
As rare as that pearl the merchant sold everything to possess.

The Pearl of Great Price is more than a parable — it’s a prophetic picture of our value, especially when life’s trials have tried to convince us otherwise. In Matthew 13, Jesus describes a merchant who stumbles upon a pearl so precious, so rare, that he’s willing to give up everything to have it. He knows its worth. That pearl wasn’t ordinary. And neither am I.

How Pearls Are Formed: The Power of the Irritant

Unlike diamonds that are cut from stone, pearls are formed in response to irritation. A grain of sand, a parasite, or some tiny foreign object finds its way inside the oyster’s shell. The oyster doesn’t reject the pain — it responds by coating the irritant over and over with nacre, the very substance that forms the pearl.

That irritant — the very thing that doesn’t belong — becomes the starting point of beauty.

In the same way, I think of my broken pieces blog, and the many experiences I’ve shared on mariemuhammadspeaks.org — seasons of grief, betrayal, abandonment, emotional storms, and spiritual refining. Life didn’t hand me ease, but it did hand me raw material. Irritants.

Like a pearl, those irritants were not signs of failure, but invitations to be formed.
God didn’t waste a single one. He layered them with grace, with healing, with wisdom, until they became beauty.

Adversity Doesn't Diminish Us — It Develops Us

I used to question my worth in relationships — wondering if my scars made me less worthy of love, commitment, or protection. But I’ve learned something deeper:
It’s the very things I’ve overcome that make me valuable, not defective.

The kingdom of God sees value differently. He doesn’t discard the broken; He transforms them. The world may view adversity as a deficit — but heaven sees it as raw potential. When we allow God to touch our pain, He makes everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). He gives beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3). And He teaches us how to see ourselves through His eyes, not through our history.

You Are Worth the Pursuit

If a merchant was willing to sell everything just to buy one pearl, what does that say about how God sees you?
What does that say about your worth in relationships?

You are not disposable.
You are not common.
You are not "too much" or "not enough."
You are a pearl of great price.

Relationships that require you to shrink, hide your past, or silence your growth are not worthy of the pearl God has formed in you. The right people — whether friends, partners, or mentors — will see the beauty behind your layers, not just the surface.

I’m Not Like Them — And Neither Are You

We weren’t made to be replicas.
We were made to be rare.

We were shaped through adversity, refined by faith, and sealed by God's purpose. The pearl isn’t made in a day. Neither are we. But in the process, we gain something more precious than gold — we gain identity, resilience, and anointing.

So today, I remind you (and myself):
You are the Pearl of Great Price.

You were bought with a price.
You are not like them — you were never meant to be.

—

Plan B Is Not an Option

Plan B Is Not an Option: Protecting the Purpose of God in Your Relationship

In today’s culture, the idea of “Plan B” has become both a medical term and a mindset. It’s the backup plan, the escape hatch, the safety net when we’re unsure. But what if I told you that Plan B can spiritually sabotage something God has conceived for your destiny—especially when it comes to relationships?

I know this firsthand.

🔍 A Personal Miracle

When I became pregnant with my daughter, I didn’t know it right away. Out of fear and uncertainty, I took a Plan B pill, not realizing that life had already begun. That little zygote, that new life, should not have survived the hormonal disruption meant to prevent implantation. But God preserved her. It was nothing short of a miracle.

The Plan B pill doesn’t end a pregnancy. Instead, it interferes with progesterone, the very hormone that secures the uterine lining so the new life can attach and grow. Without progesterone, the embryo often cannot implant, and the pregnancy is lost before it begins.

This biological truth mirrors a spiritual reality I’ve seen in many relationships, especially those that God has purposed.

⚠️ Plan B Thinking in Relationships

In relationships, Plan B thinking looks like:

• Keeping your options open “just in case”

• Letting past trauma dictate your trust levels

• Listening more to culture’s opinions than to God’s voice

• Dating without purpose, identity, or spiritual agreement

Many couples today are spiritually intimate but emotionally undecided. They lack the revelation of identity—not just of themselves, but of who their partner is to them in God’s plan.

Just like a zygote needs progesterone to implant and grow, a relationship needs revelation to root and thrive.

🪨 The Rock of Revelation

Jesus once asked His disciples, “Who do men say I am?” After they gave Him a list of public opinions, He made it personal:
“But who do you say that I am?”

Only Peter answered with heaven’s revelation:

“You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.”
Jesus replied, “Flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father in heaven. And upon this rock I will build My church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:13–18)

It was not Peter the man that became the foundation—it was the revelation Peter had. In the same way, a couple must know by divine revelation who they are to each other. This is the only kind of foundation that can survive the gates of hell.

🌊 Violent Storms & Thin Linings

There are times when storms of life—conflict, temptation, outside voices, spiritual warfare—come to violently tear at the lining of a relationship. When there is no revelation, and when people are still entertaining Plan B, the relationship can be miscarried. Some relationships end before it ever has a chance to take root.

Relationships in their embryonic stages are especially vulnerable. The enemy doesn’t wait until you're married to attack—he often comes when purpose is just forming.

🧱 Building with Purpose

If you're dating or in a new relationship:

• Ask God for revelation, not just feelings.

• Know the purpose of your union—what is God trying to birth through this relationship?

• Seal it with prayer, community, and wise counsel.

• Don’t entertain options that look like security but are really escape routes.

• Don’t let fear cause you to abort what God is trying to conceive.

✨ No More Plan B

Let me say this plainly: Plan B is not an option when you're walking in purpose.

Whether you're single, dating, or married, remember: you don’t need a backup plan when God is your blueprint. If He is the author, let Him finish the story. Your relationship deserves the security of revelation, the protection of faith, and the strength of commitment.

Guard the lining. Secure the vision. Choose God's plan—Plan A.

Because sometimes, like my daughter, what survives despite Plan B becomes your greatest miracle.

A Call to Wisdom for This Generation

King Solomon: Wisdom for a New Era

One of the first things King Solomon quickly realized was that he was not his father, King David. David had to fight battles to establish the kingdom, building it with his own hands and defending it with his life. Because of David’s efforts and faithfulness, Solomon inherited a reign marked by peace and prosperity.

However, Solomon also quickly recognized that maintaining peace and prosperity would require a different kind of leadership—one rooted in wisdom rather than war.

When given the opportunity to ask God for anything, Solomon didn’t ask for riches, military strength, or even the downfall of his enemies. Instead, he humbly acknowledged his limitations. He knew he lacked the tools necessary to lead such a great nation, so he asked for something only God could give: wisdom.

Let’s eavesdrop on the remarkable conversation Solomon had with God in a dream:

1 Kings 3:5-14 (The Message)

“That night, there in Gibeon, God appeared to Solomon in a dream: God said, ‘What can I give you? Ask.’

Solomon said, ‘You were extravagantly generous in love with David my father, and he lived faithfully in your presence, his relationships were just, and his heart was right. And you have persisted in this great and generous love by giving him—this very day!—a son to sit on his throne.’

‘And now here I am: God, my God, you have made me, your servant, ruler of the kingdom in place of David my father. I’m too young for this, a mere child! I don’t know the ropes, hardly know the “ins” and “outs” of this job. And here I am, set down in the middle of the people you’ve chosen, a great people—far too many to ever count.’

‘Here’s what I want: Give me a God-listening heart so I can lead your people well, discerning the difference between good and evil. For who on their own is capable of leading your glorious people?’

*God, the Master, was delighted with Solomon’s response. And God said to him, ‘Because you have asked for this and haven’t grasped after a long life, or riches, or the doom of your enemies, but you have asked for the ability to lead and govern well, I’ll give you what you’ve asked for—I’m giving you a wise and mature heart. There’s never been one like you before; and there’ll be no one after. As a bonus, I’m giving you both the wealth and glory you didn’t ask for—there’s not a king anywhere who will come up to your mark. And if you stay on course, keeping your eye on the life-map and the God-signs as your father David did, I’ll also give you a long life.’”

The Wisdom to Lead in a New Era

Solomon’s request teaches us a profound lesson. He recognized where he was lacking and didn’t ask for more of what he already had—like wealth or influence. Instead, he sought something that money or power could never buy: wisdom. He understood that the strategies that worked for his father, King David, wouldn’t work for him. A peaceful kingdom required a different approach, one rooted in discernment, fairness, and understanding.

Wisdom for Today’s Leaders

As God raises up new leaders in this era, we desperately need a fresh paradigm and divine wisdom to go in and out among the people. We are living in a time when many are treating life like a movie script. People are shaping their relationship goals, life choices, and decisions based on influencers and personalities on social media.

The world is captivated by a facade—living life like a reality show, while the reality is anything but real. This cultural shift is creating a generation that lacks depth, discernment, and true purpose. To lead effectively in this environment, leaders must possess the wisdom of God to discern between truth and illusion, between good and evil, and to navigate the complexities of this generation.

Solomon’s Most Famous Judgment

One of Solomon’s most notable demonstrations of wisdom came in the case of two women disputing over a child. Their story is as tragic as it is shocking.

The women lived together, and each gave birth to a baby. Tragically, one of the babies died during the night. The mother of the dead child switched the infants, claiming the living child as her own. The real mother protested, and they brought the case before Solomon.

Now, hold up—this isn’t some sanitized story or a Disney moment. This is raw, human tragedy. Imagine the pain and desperation of these women. One had lost her child, and the other was fighting to keep hers.

What makes this moment even more profound is Solomon’s method. He called for a sword and suggested cutting the child in two, giving half to each woman. The true mother, filled with compassion, immediately begged the king to let the other woman have the child—just so he could live.

Through this act of discernment, Solomon revealed the true mother and restored justice.

Lessons from Solomon’s Wisdom

1. Know What You Lack
   Solomon’s first step toward wisdom was recognizing his own limitations. He didn’t try to lead based on assumptions or pride. He humbled himself before God and sought divine guidance.

2. Seek What Money Can’t Buy
   In our modern world, we often chase after wealth, success, or recognition. Solomon reminds us that true success comes from pursuing wisdom, understanding, and a heart aligned with God.

3. Discernment Requires Courage
   Solomon’s wisdom wasn’t passive—it was active and decisive. True wisdom often requires us to make tough decisions, even when the answers aren’t immediately clear.

4. Your Strategy May Differ from Others
   David fought battles to establish the kingdom; Solomon ruled with wisdom to sustain it. Just because someone else succeeded one way doesn’t mean your path will look the same. Seek God for the strategy that fits your season.

5. Lead with a God-Listening Heart
   Solomon’s request for a God-listening heart is a reminder that leadership begins with listening—listening to God, to His word, and to the people you are called to serve.

A Call to Wisdom for This Generation

This generation is facing challenges unique to its time—challenges that require leaders with wisdom, integrity, and discernment. As leaders, parents, and influencers, we are called to rise above the noise of social media and cultural trends to seek God’s guidance.

Solomon’s story challenges us to reflect on our own leadership—whether in our families, workplaces, or communities. Are we relying on our own understanding, or are we seeking God for wisdom to lead well?

Just as Solomon’s wisdom shaped his kingdom, your decisions have the power to impact generations. Choose wisely. Seek understanding. And remember, the same God who gave Solomon a wise and discerning heart is ready to guide you too.

Dying to Live again

I truly love, to truly become one in marriage, we must first learn to die to ourselves. The Word says, though our outward man is perishing every day, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. God builds us and increases us first from the inside out. So many are getting it wrong when it comes to dating. God is love. He placed within the heart of man the desire for love, yet so many of us seek it in the wrong places. Eventually, we come broken, like children who have shattered their favorite toy, hoping our Father can put it back together again. But, what about going to Him first, the one who is love.

I have learned, as someone who has never dated in the traditional sense, that love is not about grand gestures or picture-perfect moments. I have never been wooed, wined, and dined. I have no memories or photos of extravagant vacations with the love of my life, not even from my first marriage. We didn’t celebrate our first anniversary. I have no Valentine’s Day pictures, never danced all night, never stayed on the phone as a teenager whispering, "You hang up first." Yet, I have dreamed of a love that lasts forever—a love that endures all things, believes all things, and conquers all things.

Every since I accepted Christ in my life, I have been dying to live again. Jesus said that whoever finds their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for His sake will find it. I have poured out my life as an offering, believing that God will fill it with the life He always intended for me. William McDowell has a song called Empty Me, where he expresses the desire to be emptied so that God can pour in something greater. In the same way, when we have done whatever Jesus has commanded us to do, He will flood our lives with the new wine—the wine that makes dying to live again worth the sacrifice.

Couples often spend their courtship intoxicated by romance and oxytocin, but real love is built on sacrifice. When you spend the foundation of your relationship laying down your life for one another, discussing the hard topics, and planning with an awareness that every past and present decision will affect your future together, then you begin to understand why you must die to live again. Love, marriage, and unity require the death of self so that something greater can be born. Its about laying your lives down to fulfill your kingdom assignment together.

So many couples struggle because they are unwilling to die to themselves. They hold tightly to their independence, their desires, their way of doing things, and they resist the transformation that love requires. Yet, marriage calls us to surrender—to release selfishness and embrace oneness. It requires forgiveness, humility, and an unwavering commitment to growth. Without dying to self, there can be no true unity.

The breaking, the stretching, and the surrender are not in vain. They prepare us for something greater. When two people willingly die to themselves for the sake of love, they are resurrected into a union that is stronger, deeper, and more beautiful than anything they could have achieved alone. In Christ, in love, and in marriage, we must die to live again.

Hidden in Plain sight

Title: Hidden in Plain Sight for Purpose: Waiting to Be Revealed

In a world where visibility is often mistaken for value, it’s easy to wonder why your gifts seem unnoticed, your prayers unanswered, or your purpose delayed. But what if you're not overlooked… just hidden in plain sight? What if your current obscurity is the evidence of God’s intentionality—not a punishment, but a preparation?

God hides what is holy—even in plain view.
He conceals what carries weight—until the time is right to carry it.
He shields what is necessary—until the moment it must be revealed.

Look at Katherine Johnson from Hidden Figures—a brilliant mathematician, a Black woman quietly solving equations that would carry a man into orbit and bring him home alive. Her mind was unmatched, her calculations critical. Yet, she was tucked away behind the curtain of history, working in silence while others took the spotlight. Hidden? Yes. But not forgotten. She was hidden in plain sight—until history needed what only she could offer.

The same is true of you.

You may be overlooked by people, but never by purpose. You may feel tucked behind the scenes, but heaven is watching every move. Just like the intricate math that ensured reentry from space, your life is being aligned with supernatural precision. Every detail—your timing, your training, your tears—is being calculated by the One who knows the end from the beginning.

You are not invisible. You are intentionally undisclosed.

Scripture gives us another glimpse of this divine pattern. In 2 Kings 11, Joash—the rightful king—was hidden in the temple for six years. He wasn’t lost; he was preserved. While chaos reigned under Athaliah, God had tucked away the true heir, raising him in secret until the time of coronation. He, too, was hidden in plain sight for a purpose.

This same divine strategy applies to relationships.

When God ordains a union for kingdom impact—whether in marriage, ministry, or mission—He often hides both parties from each other and premature exposure. Why? Because what they carry together is too weighty to be mishandled by immature timing or spiritual sabotage. What seems like a delay is divine calculations.

Divine relationships are not built on impulse—they are authored by instruction.
They don’t emerge from convenience—they rise from covenant.

Just as John Glenn refused to launch without Katherine’s confirmation, God is waiting for everything to align before revealing what’s been hidden. One wrong move, and the mission fails. Enter too soon, and the relationship burns in reentry. So God hides. And watches. And waits.

So if you feel unseen—like Katherine working in shadows, or Joash sheltered in silence—take heart. You are not buried; you are planted. You are not forgotten; you are being formed. You are not denied; you are being destined.

You are hidden in plain sight for a purpose.
You are necessary to the assignment.
You are waiting to be revealed, right on time.

Every unanswered prayer, every delay, every detour is a part of the divine equation. And when the moment comes, the world will see what heaven already knows:

That you were created on purpose, for purpose, and hidden in plain sight to be revealed in glory.

Wait with confidence. Grow in grace. Trust the God who sees when no one else does. Because the One who hides you… is the same One who will unveil you.