It’s not what it looks like

It’s not what it looks like. How many of us have had bad situations happen in our lives and others judged us without knowing the whole story? I can relate to the story of Mephibosheth. His nurse decided in fear to pick him up and started to run to protect him and instead ended up injuring him. There are so many parents and even single parents that can relate to this story. Children do not come with a manual. Most of us are trying to do the best we can with the resources and mental and emotional damage we are carrying while also carrying and trying to protect our children. A real parent wants better than what they had growing up, even if it was good. There is always better but sometimes good can be the enemy to better.

His nurse didn’t just sit there because they had it good and didn’t assume they would be okay. No, she started running because she wanted better, and didn’t want that to be his end like his father and grandfather’s unexpected death as well. However, she ended up being the one to hurt him the most. There I was a single mother that had been through a difficult marriage and divorce. Then just three years after our divorce, their father, my ex-husband at 38 years old died. Just like Jonathan’s unexpected death in the battle that day, I was left carrying the weight of our young two sons and I was on the run. I was running from fear, abuse, and destruction, just like she was. Praying that I would be able to protect my sons from the aftermath of the war we had just come out of.

So many women have lost their spouses, their children’s fathers voluntarily or involuntary and our children have been left crippled and lamed. These situations have placed many of our children in situations that have compromised them physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and even financially. There are thousands of children in the foster care system because of being dropped like Mephibosheth. However, every child that enters the foster care systems story is not because the child was being abused, it might be like my situation because while I was trying to protect mine, the weight became so great: he was dropped. This was heartbreaking to me, but we could no longer coexist together.

In my situation and many others, it’s not what it looks like. This means there is much more to it than what you are seeing or may know. Things got bad. I had a young son before I got married and when my ex-husband left me and we divorced, before this happened, I would constantly let him know I was not taking the boys with me. I was struggling because now I had three young sons to raise alone. My weight was great. All hell broke out in my home as soon as he closed his eyes. My second, his oldest, was being a bad example to his brother. So, it wasn’t just one of them, it was two of them at the same time. It began to affect my youngest son the most mentally.

The more I tried to protect and get him help, which was documented for two years during this time, it just got worse. I couldn’t take it anymore. I exhausted all my resources and when things became physical from my youngest son after multiple encounters, I realized things had to change. I had to let go because he would no longer collaborate with me. He was brought into the foster care system, and I was assigned an attorney. She spoke to me briefly on my first court date, having had some time to review my case. She said, “I know why you are here, but I also want you to know I am prepared to go to war for you.”

The moment I stood in front of the judge, he looked down and smiled at me and said, “Something is telling me you have done everything you can do. He had one request of me, and that was to never break my connection with my son. I didn’t, even when it became challenging. I was not charged with anything, but I went into the lion’s den for one year until God closed the mouth of the lions and cleared my name and reputation.

One day, I will share my testimony to encourage and strength other parents and youth, and my youngest son will as well. God will get the glory out of his life. The gates of hell did not prevail against me because of my relationship with Christ. God has not forgotten every Mephibosheth. Just like he caused King David to remember Mephibosheth, God is raising you like King David that will bring our sons to the king’s table, and they will be reminded who God has called them to be. They are royalty. They will be delivered from thinking they are nothing but a dog as he said because the enemy has stolen their fathers and caused them to be displaced. King David divinely restored everything to Mephibosheth that he should have had, and God is going to do the same for many young men.

2 Samuel 4:4 And Jonathan, Saul's son, had a son that was lame of his feet. He was five years old when the tidings came of Saul and Jonathan out of Jezreel, and his nurse took him up, and fled: and it happened, as she made haste to flee, that he fell, and became lame. And his name was Mephibosheth.

Sometimes you will appear crazy

Sometimes you will appear crazy to avoid destruction and actually be delivered from the hand of the enemy. Sometimes you will appear crazy to take risk that no one else is willing to take. We get ourselves in situations that sometimes just don’t make sense. Why did we do this? Why did we do that? Why did David go into the enemies’ camp and almost get killed? David risked his life to go and get food for his men. Are you willing to go into the camp of the enemy to get what you need and for those you are called too?

1 sam 21 David went on his way and Jonathan returned to town.

David went to Nob, to Ahimelech the Priest. Ahimelech was alarmed as he went out to greet David: “What are you doing here all by yourself—and not a soul with you?”

Ahimelech thought David was crazy in other words.

2-3 David answered Ahimelech the Priest, “The king sent me on a mission and gave strict orders: ‘This is top secret—not a word of this to a soul.’ I’ve arranged to meet up with my men in a certain place. Now, what’s there here to eat? Do you have five loaves of bread? Give me whatever you can scrounge up!”

David was willing to do whatever it took, even if it made him appearing like he was crazy.

Are you willing to appear crazy to obey God and take risk others won’t?

Let’s flip the script and also see it another way. What King David did can also be seen as an act of self-sabotage because of a lack of wisdom because he left himself in a compromising situation because he had a need. He was hungry. He was in survival mode on the run actually from King Saul. Has your appetite ever brought you into a situation that made you compromise yourself?

The only way he was going to be delivered was to appear crazy? I always use my own testimony. I have done things that just didn’t make sense to someone in their right mind. Why would I go back in the enemies camp after being abandoned and violated and submit to destruction again. Two words-Self-sabotage.

Pastor Dharius Daniels said, when you increase self awareness, you decrease self-sabotage.

in 1 sam 21:12-15 When David realized that he had been recognized, he panicked, fearing the worst from Achish, king of Gath. So right there, while they were looking at him, he pretended to go crazy, pounding his head on the city gate and foaming at the mouth, spit dripping from his beard. Achish took one look at him and said to his servants, “Can’t you see he’s crazy? Why did you let him in here? Don’t you think I have enough crazy people to put up with as it is without adding another? Get him out of here!”

What has panic and fear made you do in a moment of anxiety? Have you ever appeared crazy to avoid destruction? David was willing to do whatever he had to, to avoid self-destruction. He had placed himself in a compromising situation. He was left vulnerable and the only way to escape was to pretend like he was crazy. He completely came out of character. God was merciful and protected King David in his vulnerable state and God wants you to know just like He delivered King David and me He is delivering you too.

The face of God

I love the song, Mary, did you know? It’s this line that made me think deeper. The song writer asks a question, Mary did you know when you kissed your baby boy, you kissed the face of God? That is such a powerful question, and the answer is yes. However, have we all stopped to wonder how common Mary and Joseph and his own siblings had become with him like we do sometimes to others. Some people will never be able to see God unless they see him through your face.

Let’s rewind a story in the bible. Jacob connives and schemes with his mother Racheal to manipulate the plan of God. Remember, the two brothers were fighting in her womb, and she inquiries about them. God lets her know before they are even born, that the older one would serve the younger one. They do this by devising a plot twist to steal her other son’s blessing. On the back of Jacob already waiting to catch his brother at a vulnerable moment when his hunger supersedes his passion for his birthright. He forgets how valuable it is and sells it for a temporary situation that brings him satisfaction that will cost him something permanent. How many of us have fallen for this same temporary moment and ended up with something we can never change? I ended up with a burden and a blessing.

Only God can restore and heal us in our families and relationships when we have damaged them through reckless encounters to satisfy us only for a moment that ends up costing us precious time. But there is hope in God just like it was for Jacob and Esau.

Jacob is so afraid that the consequences of his past are going to overshadow his future. However, God had already gone before him like he has for you and me. He discovers on this road that God was with him all along. When he sees Esau, he begins to bow to alert him that he is coming in peace and humility. Jacob had really changed. His actions demonstrated that to his twin. You are about to get your butterfly wings. God saw you changing just like a caterpillar metamorphosis’ into a beautiful butterfly.

Some people are being raised as the face of God. Pastor Darius Daniels said, in a recent message, The conclusion of the matter, God loves us so much that He chooses to use us as examples. It’s our choice whether we become a model of what to do or a lesson in what not to do. The enemy wanted to make me an example of failure, but God is taking my life to make me an example of success of what He can do during incredible odds and difficult situations. That is our call together as overcomers. We are being raised as poster children.

This means that to see them serving him and in a place of transformation and integrity, it will be such a witness that God is real. God has done the work in your life and when others see your face, they are going to know they have also seen the face of God through you. Believe God to deliver your loved ones and bring reconciliation. God is giving you a revelation and others that he can restore to the utmost. People are going to say like Jacob, to see you in a place of restoration, for to see your face is like seeing the face of God.

Genesis 33: 3 He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. 4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.

9 But Esau said, “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.”

10 “No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God now that you have received me favorably.

Do you love me?

One of the most painful things to experience in an intimate relationship with someone is for them to question your love. Peter was hand-picked and chosen by God. Peter wasn’t just a disciple of Christ; he was one of the closest friends Jesus had in his circle. Peter had an all-access VIP pass to Christ. He got an invitation to walk on water. He got to go on the Mount of transfiguration to see Jesus transform in his glory. He betrayed him three times and was restored unlike Judas. Peter got to go with him to Gethsemane but fell asleep. He was also the only one that answered who Jesus was correctly, revealing to him that his heavenly father gave him access to this revelation. Out of fear Peter tells Jesus he is not going to the cross, but Jesus must harshly rebuke him to challenge his perspective but did not reject Peter because of it. Peter preached the inauguration of the holy ghost. Peter cut a man’s ear off to defend Jesus and Jesus restored it and covered him again. Peter went back to fishing after the crucifixion and the Lord went out his way to reappear to him to refocus him.

He got to experience Jesus every day and yet one day Jesus turned to him and asked him not once but three times, do you love me, but not just did he love him. He challenged and asked him did he love Him more than all the others. Peter did something that made his love be questioned by the Lord. Sometimes, our behavior will cause others to question our love for the Lord. However, Peter rose to the occasion when it mattered most despite all his mistakes.

Let us eavesdrop on the conversation.

15 So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.

16 He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.

17 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.

18 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, when thou wast young, thou girdest thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry the whither thou wouldest not.

19 This spake he, signifying by what death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow me.

Let us take the fairytale version out of what Jesus is telling the disciples about his kingdom, heaven and all the miracles they are experiencing every day. Many of us have received prophesies about some wonderful things God is going to do in our lives but let us pause a minute. Jesus let Peter know there is a direct correlation between him demonstrating his love for him and then tells him the ultimate price he will pay to prove his love above the price the others will have to pay. Too much is given, much is required.

However, by the time Jesus asked Peter the third time, Peter is like, you know everything. You can hear his frustration and aggravation in his response to Jesus who knows all things. The thing is Jesus is trying to prepare Peter for something greater that is going to cost him his life and he wants him to be prepared. Jesus wanted Peter to be ready for the day he would not only teach and preach after he was gone. He was building him from the inside out so he would have the endurance and resolve to know the cost to really be able to say he loved him.

When I read this, I wept sorely for Peter for the first time. I could relate to him for the first time. We all have our own cross to bear as followers of Christ. We all will die for us to demonstrate our love for God, but it will look different for each of us. However, I remember when I was married, and my late ex-husband kept saying he was going to leave me. After dealing with several years of anger and deep bitterness, I came to the Lord one day completely broken and I told the Lord, I loved him and didn’t want to live without him. I was completely suicidal. I had done everything I could to show him I loved him and wanted our marriage to work. It was in this moment, the Lord reminded me that there is no greater love than this, least a man lay down his life for his friends. I died that day.

I began to live for the Lord completely differently. I gave God my whole heart. It wasn’t about me anymore. It wasn’t about what he did right or even wrong. Dead men don’t respond. My responses began to be governed by the unadulterated word of God as I began to honor God. God began to begin to root and ground me in his love. I was taking quantum leaps in the spirit and outrunning not only my enemies but my generational enemies. I was doing what King David said, leaping over walls and running through troops. God has called us to be crucified with him and die daily and we can only do that with the power of God. The greatest way to demonstrate our love to someone according to the word of God is to lay our life down for them and honor God if we are called to them. This is also demonstrated in our assignment towards those we are called to like Peter was when Jesus told him to feed his sheep. God wants to know like he asked Peter, do you love me?

The table the Lord has prepared

When we discern an enemy, the first thing in our flesh is to get as far away from our enemies as we can. Not only do we want to get away from them, but we also want our friends to unfriend them and sometimes we believe if they don’t, then they are not our friend. We sometimes don’t have a clear perspective on kingdom friendship. The scripture says in Proverbs 27:16 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. A faithful friend will wound you and always tell you the truth. So, you need discernment to know the difference between a friend and an enemy. Then on the other hand, the other side is we don’t want them to have what God has for them, justifying our reward that they should get what they deserve for how they have hurt and offended us. Although at times, we have also been on the other side, operating as an enemy of God and He didn’t give us what we deserved.

You may be asking, what does this have to do with the table the Lord has prepared. The word says in Psalms 5:23 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies: thou anoint my head with oil; my cup runneth over. The number one take away is that we all need to know is first we must have discernment to know is it the table the Lord has prepared for us. Second, we need to know our enemies will be present with a seat. Thirdly, we need to make sure we don’t allow our enemies to make us give up our seat. It’s the only way we get to the next level of anointing and our overflow.

Let’s examine the night Jesus was brought to the table the Father had prepared for him. In John 13 Jesus acknowledges his hour had come. We must ask God for the wisdom of the sons of Issachar that we can know both the times and seasons of God for our lives and those we are called too in this hour. We don’t want to miss our moment. He knew it was time for him to be betrayed and die. We need our Judas as much as we need our Peter. I pray God continues to give us all the ability to discern between our Judas and our Peter. It is a difference. Jesus let’s Peter know he will betray him three times and prays for him to be restored. However, He tells Judas to do what he is going to do quickly while allowing Judas to give Him a kiss. He does not attempt to stop him nor restore him.

Before this time, He never once gave the faintest indication that Judas would betray him to the others. He treated Judas with the same love that he did for the others. He knew the whole time Judas would be the one to betray him. He was a vessel of dishonor although he had a purpose. In Matthew 5:44-But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

 Yes, we know Jesus was the only one perfect but when we obey and bless our enemies and pray for them from the pain and persecution, it purifies our hearts and allows God’s love to be perfected in us towards our enemies. God is calling us higher in Him. God is causing us to recognize our table He has prepared for us with the knowledge that our enemies will also be present. He is separating us from our Judas and restoring us to our Peter in this hour. It was time for God to be glorified through him. God is coming after his investments and wants to be glorified through us in this next level of death and surrender. Don’t give up your seat because your enemies will be present at the table the Lord has prepared for you and remember, he saved us a seat not just a crumb.

Every dog will have it's day

I recently heard Dr. Apostle Matthew Steven III make this statement and reference this passage of scripture. He said, every dog will have it’s day. Matthew 15:21 Then Jesus went out from there and departed to the region of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed.”

23 But He answered her not a word.

And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, “Send her away, for she cries out after us.”

24 But He answered and said, “I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

25 Then she came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, help me!”

26 But He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.”

27 And she said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.”

28 Then Jesus answered and said to her, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

Every dog will have it’s day.

Call me a dog.

So many of us have been called to sit at the table the Lord has prepared but we have at times behaved like those outside of the kingdom. We have been content with the crumbs like a dog that have fallen from the masters table. Notice, Jesus didn’t even respond to her because she didn’t have a right to what she was asking Him for. He let her know deliverance was the children’s bread.

Are we behaving like children in the kingdom or are we acting like the dogs that are only eating the crumbs that fall from the master’s table?

Jesus has prepared a whole table for us and wants us to receive all He has for us. Jesus let her know because of her faith her daughter was delivered. Notice that he could not ignore her faith although he ignored her. The kingdom is accessed by faith. I have left the Lord at times and yet received things from Him that seemed unfair that I shouldn’t have received. Some would say, I was behaving as one of the dogs but I still used my faith for my daughter. God honored it just like He did with this woman in the scriptures. He will honor you too. Have faith in God, no matter what state you may find yourself in. Ask, believe and receive it and don’t allow others to persuade you to stop following God like the disciples tried to do to this woman.

God is calling us to more and positioning us at the table. The crumbs had enough power to give her what she needed. Are you eating the bread crumbs in your relationships, in your career, in your finances, etc because you have a measure of success? Every dog will have its’ day. God reigns on the just and the unjust. However, He has an abundance for us at the table as his children and we don’t have to eat the crumbs that fallen from the masters table and settle. We did not settle.

We must understand the importance of submitting our appetite

When Katniss' dad says in the movie, The Hunger games, “As long as you can find yourself, you'll never starve,” what does he mean? He means if she discovers her skills and strengths, she can take care of herself.

The enemy’s great tactic from birth is to devalue us by the way we see ourselves, our parents manage us, and the way others define us. The enemy wants to make sure you don’t ever really know who you are and the value of your birthright. In the light of all the things God has allowed to surface in the life of Shawn Puffy Combs, AKA Diddy and all those connected to this scandal, he was clearly a man that did not submit his appetite and has brought destruction on his soul and his reputation.  Let us all take heed to his great fall and find ourselves in the word and live as wisdom calls us higher.

Let’s go examine the life of Esau with God’s ultrasound.  He is fighting in the womb with his twin brother. It is such a disturbance in Rebakah’s womb, she had to ask God what was really going on. God gives her a picture of what life will look like with the boys before they are born.  

Genesis 25: 22 And the children struggled together within her; and she said, if it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the Lord.

23 And the Lord said unto her, two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.

Before Esau and Jacob were even born, God revealed to his mother a key detail regarding the twins. It didn’t matter which one was born first. God already determined the end from the beginning, and he has done the same for us from birth.

Esau came to a place in his life where he had lost focus. He despised his birthright.  He found himself in a place of compromise and was starving. He forgot who he was. He hated his requirements attached to his birthright.

We must understand the importance of submitting our appetite.

Let’s see why.

Genesis 25:29 And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint:

30 And Esau said to Jacob, feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore, was his name called Edom.

31 And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright.

32 And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point of dying: and what profit shall this birthright do to me?

33 And Jacob said, swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob.

34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentils; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus, Esau despised his birthright.

Pastor Dharius Daniels said, You have to be careful with who you are around when you are hungry because some people won’t meet your need, they will exploit it.  That’s exactly what Jacob and their mother did to Esau.  Sometimes, its those we trust and are the closest to us that we can’t see them doing us wrong.  Esau thought he was about to die from hunger and couldn’t live without what he wanted in that moment.  What lie has the enemy told you, you can’t live without?

Esau identified more with his surroundings which was Edom than his birthright and who he was as Esau. He became weary in well doing. Have you submitted to your circumstances for a season and forgotten who you are called to be and how valuable you are? What has happened in your life that has brought your soul to the point of desperation like Esau? God is warning us as children not to forfeit portions of our destiny for a moment of pleasure for small portions of our birthright. God has so much for us. The enemy is always out to steal, kill and destroy.

Are you bitter with God for what he has required from you?

He lied to Eve and deceived her and Adam and her were removed from Eden forever. Moses didn’t deal with his anger and ended up never entering the promised land because he hit the rock twice instead of speaking to it. Samson played with Delilah and ended up losing his eyes and dying prematurely. Racheal takes her father’s idols with her and ends up dying prematurely before they return to Bethlehem. David didn’t get to build the temple because of his disobedience. Abraham and Sarah lost hope and created Ishmael while waiting on Isaac out of desperation. In all these men and women’s lives, there was a place in their soul they were starving. They forgot who they were and compromised, costing them a portion of their birthright.

To walk in your calling, we must be willing to submit our appetite to God and this could be naturally, sexually, spiritually, physically, financially, etc. For many people, we have allowed the cares of this life to bring us to places of hunger and some have become faint and compromised in this last season. The enemy wanted to make many believe they would never receive what God promised them. But the devil is a liar.

Some have come under attack in their character and reputation.  The word says to abstain from all appearance of evil and when we don’t, we can give the enemy a foothold that the enemy can cause to become a stronghold.  Pastor Dharius Daniels said, God is more concerned about restoring our souls in this season than he is in restoring our reputation first.  God doesn’t want us to starve but when we don’t understand the value of our birthright and who we are, we will always find ourselves in a place of compromise, like Esau and like Diddy. We must submit our appetite to the Lord.

It’s a new day.  God is strengthening our focus. He is turning the page as we fully embrace who God said we are, as he restores our souls, he is also restoring your image in the hearts and minds of those that are also assigned to you and your destiny. God is calling us to come out from among anything that could hinder his plan and purposes.

Proverbs 27:7 The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.

In the name of The Lord

In this hour we as leaders must remember to humble ourselves and remember we are not greater than our Lord and Savior. Jesus was persecuted and we will be as well. So many Christians are falling away and stumbling due to do offenses. In Matthew 11:6 states, "And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me". One of the greatest men in the bible and the only one that had a double portion anointing was the prophet, Elisha. He is famous for his ability to believe God for a double portion of his master’s anointing, the notorious Prophet Elijah. However, we never hear much about the day, Elisha got in his feelings and was mocked.

How do we manage when we are mocked?

Let’s go ring Elisha’s doorbell and see what he did.

2 Kings 2:23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

He cursed the children in the name of the Lord. What are we doing in the name of the Lord and justifying it as God? This was bad.

The Old Testament prophets weren’t even filled with the holy spirit and operated in this type of power. How much more of the power of God could we operate out of now after the filling of the holy spirit? The word tells us that life and death are in the power of the tongue. If we rewind just two verses before these two, we will see God honoring his word for good.

2 kings 2:21 And he went forth unto the spring of the waters, and cast the salt in there, and said, thus saith the Lord, I have healed these waters; there shall not be from thence any more death or barren land.

22 So the waters were healed unto this day, according to the saying of Elisha which he spake.

Notice how the Lord honored his word whether good or bad. What are we saying and causing people to be blessed or cursed? We as leaders will give an account for the things we say. Elisha cursed forty-two children, and two bears came out of a cave and tore them to pieces. How are we tearing each other to pieces in the name of the Lord with our words?

Pastors curse their members when they leave their congregations. Members turn on leaders and dishonor them in the name of the Lord and yet we forget that Saul had 30,000 men looking for David and instead of fighting him, he was hiding in caves. He didn’t touch him. David had two times he could have killed Saul but he didn’t. Even in death, he defended his honor and honored his seed. Where is the fear of the Lord? It was never about Saul for David. He was honoring God.

As the body of Christ, we must honor God and not allow the deception of the enemy to get us out of character. We want God to pour out his power. We want to be vessels of honor for God to honor our word and walk in demonstration. We must endure hardness as good soldiers in the face of persecution.

John Bevere said, offense is the bait of Satan. We cannot take his bait. God is calling us higher. He is trying to get us to see with the eye of the eagle with a panoramic view to expose the attacks of the enemy. God is going before us to make the crooked places straight and the rough places smooth to make our way plain because of our enemies. As the body of Christ, we must stop tripping over offenses and be crucified with Christ and allow God to fight our battles. This battle is the Lord’s. Arise, oh Lord and let our enemies be scattered.

 Psalm 19:14

14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

Spiritual IV Therapy

Naturally, I have been a trainer as a healthcare professional to doctors, nurses and other ancillary staff for years. Certain conditions can cause people to need different types of of intravenous therapy. What is Intravenous (IV) therapy? It is a procedure that delivers fluids, medications, blood products, nutrition, or electrolytes directly into a vein. It's the most common invasive procedure used by medical professionals.

One of the most common trends in our culture has been for people to engage sometimes in reckless behaviors such as drinking. This can cause a need for electrolytes to be replenished and a need for an IV therapy treatment to prevent dehydration.

Well as destructive as excessive drinking can be to the body so it is in the spirit, when we engage in other destructive behaviors against God that affect us spiritually. The word tells us 2 John 3:2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

Notice, we see a direct correlation of the prospering of our health connected to the condition of our souls. When we take care of our souls in obedience to God's word, we are also protecting ourselves against health conditions naturally.

The word gives examples after examples of how this looks in our lives on a daily basis. Let’s examine Proverbs 12:4. "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones".

If you are a woman like myself that is seeking the Lord for a mate, I pray not just for myself but for you that we would be an excellent wife that is “the crown” of her husband and not allow us to bring shame to our husbands that is the equivalence of being rottenness in his bones.

Sometimes when our souls need to be restored, we will all need spiritual IV therapy treatment. Every relationship will have storms but the word says love covers a multitude of sins. We need to be women that should submit to our spouses one to another in the fear of the Lord and be able to correct each other privately without shaming them publicly. We need to get wisdom but with all our getting, we need an understanding. We have to know each other by the spirit and not by the flesh. So, as a woman that is preparing to be remarried, I seek God in intercession and cover my future spouse. God’s love always comes to heal and restore our souls. So, if you are in a season that you are getting your soul restored, allow God to heal you and don’t forget the power of spiritual IV therapy that flows as a result of intercession.

“The crown”

You won’t cast your crown, 

and throw it down,

Let others wear it or toss it around,

Like other men that roll their crowns like they roll their dice,

 you won’t be like the dogs that chase the cat, that chase the mice,

You won’t gamble it and take a chance on losing it twice,

But you will wear it godly proud,

You will sing out loud,

That God gave you another chance, 

Another dance,

To get it right,

To keep it tight,

See I am the crown.

And you will never leave it alone,

For someone else to claim,

And I won’t be like Lot’s wife that turned into a stone, 

As I take your name. 

We will be inseparable,

Baptized in pleasurable,

Desire. 

With fire. 

as each others Purpose partner,

Waiting to make it to the altar. 

You will never take it for granted,

As We are planted.

you will take your place as King,

As you give me my ring,

Becoming your crown as your wife,

As I become the love of your life. 

one day you will cast your crown at His feet,

with no defeat,

As a gift,

To lift, 

and crown Him as thee eternal King,

As you present me as your good thing. 

Spiritual IV Therapy

Naturally, I have been a trainer as a healthcare professional to doctors, nurses and other ancillary staff for years. Certain conditions can cause people to need different types of of intravenous therapy. What is Intravenous (IV) therapy? It is a procedure that delivers fluids, medications, blood products, nutrition, or electrolytes directly into a vein. It's the most common invasive procedure used by medical professionals.

One of the most common trends in our culture has been for people to engage sometimes in reckless behaviors such as drinking. This can cause a need for electrolytes to be replenished and a need for an IV therapy treatment to prevent dehydration.

Well as destructive as excessive drinking can be to the body so it is in the spirit, when we engage in other destructive behaviors against God that affect us spiritually. The word tells us 2 John 3:2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

Notice, we see a direct correlation of the prospering of our health connected to the condition of our souls. When we take care of our souls in obedience to God's word, we are also protecting ourselves against health conditions naturally.

The word gives examples after examples of how this looks in our lives on a daily basis. Let’s examine Proverbs 12:4. "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones".

If you are a woman like myself that is seeking the Lord for a mate, I pray not just for myself but for you that we would be an excellent wife that is “the crown” of her husband and not allow us to bring shame to our husbands that is the equivalence of being rottenness in his bones.

Sometimes when our souls need to be restored, we will all need spiritual IV therapy treatment. Every relationship will have storms but the word says love covers a multitude of sins. We need to be women that should submit to our spouses one to another in the fear of the Lord and be able to correct each other privately without shaming them publicly. We need to get wisdom but with all our getting, we need an understanding. We have to know each other by the spirit and not by the flesh. So, as a woman that is preparing to be remarried, I seek God in intercession and cover my future spouse. God’s love always comes to heal and restore our souls. So, if you are in a season that you are getting your soul restored, allow God to heal you and don’t forget the power of spiritual IV therapy that flows as a result of intercession.

“The crown”

You won’t cast your crown, 

and throw it down,

Let others wear it or toss it around,

Like other men that roll their crowns like they roll their dice,

 you won’t be like the dogs that chase the cat, that chase the mice,

You won’t gamble it and take a chance on losing it twice,

But you will wear it godly proud,

You will sing out loud,

That God gave you another chance, 

Another dance,

To get it right,

To keep it tight,

See I am the crown.

And you will never leave it alone,

For someone else to claim,

And I won’t be like Lot’s wife that turned into a stone, 

As I take your name. 

We will be inseparable,

Baptized in pleasurable,

Desire. 

With fire. 

as each others Purpose partner,

Waiting to make it to the altar. 

You will never take it for granted,

As We are planted.

you will take your place as King,

As you give me my ring,

Becoming your crown as your wife,

As I become the love of your life. 

one day you will cast your crown at His feet,

with no defeat,

As a gift,

To lift, 

and crown Him as thee eternal King,

As you present me as your good thing. 

We must be willing to swallow

In life there are times where life will bring us things that are difficult to swallow. I was choking on the fact that yes, I always wanted more children, but I wanted a husband too. We were a package deal. I was married and my husband was about to leave me. I struggled to swallow the fact that once I was a mother before marriage and now, I had two additional sons and was about to be a single mother, again. This was not my fairytale. It wasn’t supposed to end like that.

I had invested so much and was fighting for my family and generations. How could my story end like this? One of my favorite stories in the word is when the mother brought her two sons to Jesus before his crucifixion. She asked him could one sit on the right and the other on the left side of him in his kingdom. He asked her could they drink his cup? In my words, he was asking, were they willing to swallow the bitterness and suffer like he was about too? He quickly let her know they wouldn’t drink “it” but “from” it. You must be willing to swallow even when it’s bittersweet.

God has a prepared place for all of us. From the time of our births, we are wrestling to figure out what that purpose is. And with that assignment, there is a cup of suffering and blessings, we must be willing to swallow. Let’s see how Ezekiel managed his assignment when he was told he had to swallow and eat the whole scroll.

Ezekiel 3:1 Moreover he said unto me, Son of man, eat that thou findest; eat this roll, and go speak unto the house of Israel.

2 So I opened my mouth, and he caused me to eat that roll.

3 And he said unto me, Son of man, cause thy belly to eat, and fill thy bowels with this roll that I give thee. Then did I eat it; and it was in my mouth as honey for sweetness.

4 And he said unto me, Son of man, go, get thee unto the house of Israel, and speak with my words unto them.

Notice how sweet his assignment started out at first. It was sweet as honey. Some of us are seeking mates and the relationship started out as sweet as honey and then sometimes some things can become bitter to accept. The business took off and now it is the most demanding thing in which you have invested your time. Or you did IVF treatments and had the hardest time having a baby. That baby was so adorable, sweet, and now, that baby is in and out of jail, didn’t finish school and struggling on drugs. All these things start out sometimes as sweet as honey, but we begin to struggle when it becomes bitter. We must be willing to swallow the whole scroll and not abandon the assignment.

God told Ezekiel no matter how rebellious they were, God promised he would harden him against their rebellion to withstand it. He also let him know his consequences if he didn’t obey him and warn them. Ezekiel was called to a rebellious house and The Lord let him know they would NOT listen to him because they didn’t listen to him.

In our assignments, we cannot take our attacks personally. At times, it will be bittersweet, but we must be willing to swallow the whole scroll. And by verse fourteen we see how quickly what started out sweet turned bitter.

14 So the spirit lifted me up, and took me away, and I went in bitterness, in the heat of my spirit; but the hand of the Lord was strong upon me.

Everything won’t always be sweet but God will be with you.

I received so many prophetic words from the age of 18 years to now 52 years old and many have happened. They were sweet to my soul, but to receive the fulfillment, many have been bitter things for me to swallow to obey God. So, God wants us to know to obey Him, we must be willing to swallow and eat the whole scroll. Our assignments at times will be sweet and bitter but we cannot reign with Jesus if we are not willing to also suffer with Him. Be of good cheer and know that Jesus has already overcome the world. We must warn the wicked like Ezekiel, so their blood is not on our hands even if they reject the truth as he was told. We deliver our own souls when we obey God, accept our assignment and are willing to eat the whole scroll and swallow.

LIVE

Jesus didn’t just come to earth to deliver us. He came that we would have life and life more abundantly. He wants us to: LIVE. The word says in Ezekiel 16:6 And when I passed by you, and saw you polluted in your own blood, I said unto you when you was in your blood, Live; yea, I said to you when you was in your blood, Live.

There was a time in my life that I didn’t love me. As a child I grew up corrected in rejection, on top of the fact that I was the fourth and last child of my parents. They had been divorced, remarried, and divorced again shortly after my birth. My mom let me know as far as I can remember that she didn’t want any more children. So, I felt like a child that was nursed by rejection and cradled by the hand of devastation from the womb.

So, one of the first things the Lord began to do when I entered a personal relationship with him at 17 years old, was he let me know how special I was to him. I grew up believing that God had too many children and he couldn’t love me individually. God began to correct me, but it never looked like the correction I received growing up. God wants to reparent some of you and deliver you, but he draws us with loving kindness and his goodness. He began to give me prophetic word after prophetic word. He was giving me hope and a future to pull me out of those places of struggle and hopelessness so I would have something to fight for. He was changing me by loving me and revealing to me that he had a plan for me before I ever committed any wrongs. He wants you to know the same is true for your lives and family and friends.

Many know how I was a scorned and forsaken wife but years before I met my late ex-husband, I was the villain in a different story before I became a victim. I remember at 22, my second relationship, I backslid, and I got in an adulterous affair with a professor at college. I felt justified because he was separated from his estranged wife for five years at that time. He shared that she didn’t want to fix it, and she was in another relationship as well. I think one of the greatest allures was how open he was with me on the campus, with his parents, his sister was a beautician and did my hair all the time, their nine-year-old son, friends and even his identical twin. We talked about marriage and having children together and him getting a divorce finally. I had been a secret since my teen years being in a relationship with a man that was 21 years older than me and now, I had someone that showed me open affection. I didn’t feel like it was a secret at all.

We were so deceived that we would even go to church together at times. If you are in an adulterous relationship, I pray God delivers you and you allow him to heal and deliver you. I pray God heals that broken marriage and he gives you a new beginning. Just because a person is separated, does not give you the right to date or be in a relationship with them spiritually. When my ex-late husband separated from me, I fasted, interceded, and contended for my marriage for three years. I was infuriated, knowing we were still married, and he was now even more openly cheating.

This relationship was approaching eleven months, and the Lord began to challenge me. I told him I was going out of state to go to a conference to get away so I could ask God should I let him go. He begged me not to go. How deceived was I? I didn’t need to get away to get that answer. Adultery is a sin. I was walking in deception like some of you. God wants to set you free.

I went. I received one of the greatest prophetic words of my life that I included in my memoir, Overcoming the Shipwrecks of Life on Broken pieces. Several prophets told me God wanted me to know I was so special to him prior to this conference from seventeen until this time. At that point, I was irritated because I wanted to know what was so special about me. As a little girl, I longed to have one person that I was special to, and no one could take my place in their heart. As I stood in front of this prolific prophetic team leader, the leader began to laugh aloud. I was wondering what was wrong with her. I should have been nervous maybe because of my current situation but I wasn’t.

The first thing she told me was the Lord wanted me to know why I was so special to HIM. She told me because when the enemy started battling me around, I always came running to God. She never once dealt with or exposed the sin I was in. The Lord instead told me about how significant I was to his purposes, my family, and how my yes, would deliver not only me but many in my family, their friends, and their friends’ friends. What a promise!

I came back and called him. He asked me what the Lord told me regarding us. I told him I had to let him go. He then told me that was good because his wife was 5 months pregnant, in the hospital, and had delivered and the baby died. God closed that door for me just like that and had given me new vision and hope through these prophetic promises. After the brokenness of my marriage, I went back into an adulterous situation with my daughters father, as I shared. This was a similar situation with his wife being estranged. However, when I became pregnant, I cried out and remembered all I labored for and all God promised me. I allowed God to turn me completely. I know God as a deliverer and a keeper. I am so grateful he has kept me these last 7.5 years in my abstinent journey. I pray God brings you into a new season of vision and purpose and delivers you like he did me.

I shared my testimony so others will know, God is not mad at you. He is madly in love with you and wants to set you free. Repent, forgive yourself, turn away from your ways, and allow God to heal you and those involved. He has so much for you and your generations and those you have been called too. God has called you to LIVE.

 Proverbs 24:16 For a just man falls seven times and rises again: But the wicked shall fall into mischief.

The Time Traveler's wife

Love transcends dimensions and time. It is stronger than death. I love the movie, The Time Traveler’s wife. The main actress Clare has been in love with Henry her entire life. I feel like I have loved you from eternity. He randomly visits and picnics with her as a little girl. Henry has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to time travel which is out of his control. I know there have been situations that caused us to be delayed. Nevertheless, she believes they are destined to be together. I believe we are destined to be together.

Despite the unfortunate circumstances that keeps him separated from her in time, there love for one another grows deeper and stronger. It transcends time. Our love is rooted in God. We have not allowed anything to separate us. Our kingdom purposes are bigger than the obstacles the enemies has tried to use to abort our assignment. She isn’t afraid to love him. I am not afraid to love you. Love conquers all and endures all.

I’ve been time traveling since 1992 in intercession. God started taking me back. Specially in 2000, I began to weep for myself as a little girl and Jesus would weep with me. It was in those moments that I was crushed the most. I didn’t think anyone loved me as a child. The visits got more and more frequent. It took some years before I was able to stop revisiting little Marie. I knew I was healed when I didn’t see her weeping anymore.

I didn’t realize how important it was in that season to get healed, but the storms were coming and if I was still crying when it was time to fight, I would have lost the battle. This time I was going to have to start running because my journey ahead for me to travel was going to take me back to slavery and into our future and generations to come. The enemy was after everything I loved and everything God promised them and us.

See, the way, I learned to run faster out of the reach of the enemy was by overcoming evil with good. Every time I forgave, I could get further into my future. Every time I came to weep about my ancestors, I was bringing God the ashes so I could exchange them for his beauty. It became personal, and I began to cry for restoration for not just my generations but all the way back to my slave ancestors. God was breaking my heart for what broke His heart while they were alive. I wanted my love story to be different. I wanted my generations to be free and everyone coming after me. The longer I stayed in a place of worship and sacrifice, allowing God to purify my heart, the further I could see. My panoramic view of both the past and future began to bring my life into supernatural focus. I found myself soaring above the storms like an eagle. King David said, by God he ran through troops and leaped over walls. I had to get through some generational troops that were strongholds, and I had to become stronger than the strongholds. I didn’t realize at that time I would run right into you.

I prayed for you. I cried for you. We are finally here.

Forever,

The Time Traveler’s wife.

Get your weight up

You could have the most developed muscles and look like the incredible hawk and be underdeveloped with your spiritual muscles in one area of your body. We both have a gift of faith. We have huge muscles because we believed God, and we are the manifestations of each other’s prayers. However, this season has been a season to get our weight up again to carry the weight of our assignment together. I had two handsome, buff guys that pursued me some years ago. To some they would have been the perfect catch, but we were not spiritually aligned. They both would flex asking me didn’t I like a man with muscles. Physical muscles are great, but they are not more important to me than spiritual ones.

I recently heard Michael Bethany make this statement: people aren’t afraid of the idea of greatness itself; they fear the weight that comes with it. Those weights were so great for me. God made it make sense, when you realized why He was so meticulous and required so much from you by using his holy chisel on you. You didn’t know how BIG the legacy was that God was calling you to recover. It gave your why a deeper meaning of discovering, uncovering, and recovering a legacy of love and wealth.

One of the most painful things I endured in my previous marriage was the fact that when the enemy came rushad in my home, my late ex-husband had no spiritual muscles to resist the enemy. He was called to be a heavy weight in God. You are called to be a heavy weight in God. I am called to be a heavy weight in God.

Sometimes we get knocked down, but it doesn’t mean we have lost the fight. We don’t always understand why God requires so much from us in the fight, but it is because He has so much for us. I asked for it all back. I had no idea to get it, I would enter not only my ancestors’ blessings but their sufferings. The scripture says in Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. The glory is weighty but we can stand under it, when we are able to stand under the pressure of pain.

I wanted God to be glorified and I wanted to see his glory just like Moses did. God told him to get in the cliff of the rock on that mountain. To me that meant he not only had to come away and go up higher to be consecrated but he had to fit in a tight place to be hidden. It required a level of intimacy that I had never experienced. I wasn’t safe on the ground. I was too low. I had to go higher to soar above the storms, but those weights were so great. I had to get my weight up and that meant I had to be able to endure the pain of what I was suffering.

At times I didn’t think I was going to make it. I was taking blow after blow. There were days, I walked. Days I ran. Days I crawled and days I scooted. I knew I was suffering for the glory of God. I was honoring God but to others I looked like a fool. Why was I staying? What I realized looking back was God was giving me time to get myself together. He was giving me time to get my weight up. He sent a prophet to minister to me that He was positioning me at the canal of the Red Sea of my life. He told me I had to take the children with me. This was the hardest thing in my life I would face at that time and although the weights were great so was his grace.

God knew those weights were going to fall on me and he was not only going to live but die shortly after our divorce. God was building my spiritual muscles and inner strength and endurance to withstand the weight I would have to carry. This is comparable to a boxer in weight training.

A boxer's weight training regime will look quite different to the weight training regime of any other athlete or individual. This is because their weight training will be tailored more to functional movements and to muscular endurance as these are the most necessary for the discipline. These fights were divinely orchestrated by God for us to overcome generationally.

Muscular endurance is vital in boxing training as fighters need to keep their muscles working for an extended period, whether it's 3 rounds, 6 rounds, 8 rounds, 10 rounds or the full 12. Throwing punches, defensive movements and keeping your hands up are all vital in a fight and all of them take a toll on your muscles as the rounds go on.

I asked the Lord to allow me to outrun my enemies. This took spiritual muscular strength and endurance. When I got there 5, 10, 15, and 20 years later, I was able to stand in things others would have fallen from the blows from the enemy. Why? We have been learning obedience through the things we suffered, and the suffering has produced glory. God is going to get his glory. We have developed our muscles.

I will never forget one night he came in after staying out yet another night. It had gotten to the point he didn’t even want to see me before I left for work the next morning. My presence was a reminder of all he was not. He had already made me late for work, so I decided to take just a few minutes to speak to him. I asked him did he know how much he had hurt me. I reminded him that God had called us to the multitudes and he was responsible for four souls and if we were faithful over that little, He would make us ruler over much. He grabbed his head and began to cry and told me those weights were too great.

I later discovered my mentor, Pamela Jones-Kent told me she prayed the weight of our decisions would fall on us. Well, he decided to let those weights all fall on me and I was left carrying the weight of my generations. Sarah Jakes-Roberts said, in a message called Finish Strong that suffering has an intersection called glory. God is about to reveal his glory through us. He wants us to finish strong. This was a fixed fight. We already won.

2 Timothy 2: 3 Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.

4 No man that wars entangling himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.

One of a kind

You make me have to put on boxing gloves, 

To come to blows to explain a love of above all other loves, 

I find myself in a fight,

On sight,

Every time I hear a spoken word, 

Cause I can’t win for losing trying to describe what I’ve never seen or ever heard, 

Cause when God put you back on that potter’s wheel, 

it wasn’t just for you to heal,  

 it was so you could feel, 

Cause this time he kept you longer, 

to be stronger,

So, it would be deeper, 

cause God was making you a keeper,

And your capacity had to be steeper, 

And I feel sorry for every woman that didn’t get 

One that blows her mind,

cause this was a special edition, a one of a kind, 

He broke the mold,

And hid within you his manifold,

Wisdom.

And when God finished, he had to rest,

While your angel bowed his head,

because God made one of his best,

And the conclusion of the matter was settled when God said:

It was good. 

Knock, knock, who’s there?

Apostle Dr. Matthew Stevenson, III said, the worse place to be is in your feelings, when your future comes knocking at your door. This is exactly where Naaman was. Let’s go knock on his door.

Knock, knock, who’s there?

Naaman was angry and offended. He was a man that was living between several dualities. Let’s see how the scripture describes it in the word.

2 Kings 5 Now Naaman, captain of the host of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master, and honorable, because by him the Lord had given deliverance unto Syria: he was also a mighty man in valor, but he was a leper.

He was counted honorable with his own master and honorable before the Lord. He also was a mighty man and a leper. Have you ever had to live between the dualities of two things? You are pleasing God but also have a private struggle? You have degrees and are qualified but can’t get a job. You are a successful business entrepreneur but haven’t been successful in a relationship? You know God has called you into full time ministry, but you are also having to work a full-time job to support yourself. You have been given great prophetic words of all God is going to do but you are taking care of your children as a single mother trying to figure out how you will accomplish everything God promised. You have a list of preferences you want in a mate, but you also feel like God has told you who your mate is and it’s not the same. I want to encourage you to obey God’s instructions and don’t be offended and angry because your answer didn’t come the way you expected it too.

Perhaps, you are in the position of the little slave girl.

So, God allowed a little slave girl to be taken captive to serve Naaman’s wife. Does God have you in a humble situation that could have you caught up in your feelings when your future comes knocking?

Knock, knock, who’s there?

She didn’t miss her opportunity to share the word of the Lord to the King. This little slave girl’s name is not even mentioned in the bible nor does it even document that he rewarded her. However, when her future came knocking at her door she answered correctly. She wasn’t just taken captive and positioned to simply serve his wife. Has God given you an opportunity to help someone else get their breakthrough but because you have not been rewarded or acknowledged, you have chosen to remain in your feelings to withhold the power you have to change their life? Can God trust you with that platform to connect others and they don’t mention or tag you and give you the credit and you still be okay releasing the information they need?

Even after the little slave girl gave him the word of the Lord, he had his servant take a letter and payment requesting his healing to the King not to see Elisha. Are you still looking to someone else for your healing when God has already given you, his instructions? So, God goes out his way after Elisha hears that the King has rent his clothes and can’t fulfill Naaman’s request to heal him and tells him to see him.

Naaman now has received a personal invitation from Elisha to come. God is going to go out of his way even in your disobedience to grant your request. Let’s now see how Naaman was found in his feelings when his future came knocking at his door. Has God sent your answer, but the way you thought God would answer is different from the way you envisioned it?

Naaman asked why couldn’t he have several other different options to dip in other than the Jordan river. Stop treating your destiny like it is optional and agree with God when He has made the decision for you. Receive your healing. Another divining moment in my previous marriage was when my ex-late husband told me that pride took him and slammed him to his face and don’t be like him. When men feel unappreciated or devalued in their position, they justify their vice and for most that is another woman. Naaman was the King and he expected Elisha to entreat him a certain way. When he didn’t, he was lifted up in pride and went away in his feelings, angry and offended. How many mighty men of valor have fallen in their relationships as the King of their homes because they felt unappreciated and wanted another option than the one God gave them because they felt devalued. Thank God for the people that Naaman had around him to challenge him to obey the word of the Lord to submit.

2 Kings 5: 9 So Naaman came with his horses and with his chariot and stood at the door of the house of Elisha.

10 And Elisha sent a messenger unto him, saying, Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean.

11 But Naaman was wroth, and went away, and said, Behold, I thought, He will surely come out to me, and stand, and call on the name of the Lord his God, and strike his hand over the place, and recover the leper.

12 Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? may I not wash in them, and be clean? So, he turned and went away in a rage.

13 And his servants came near, and spake unto him, and said, my father, if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather than, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?

14 Then went he down, and dipped himself seven times in Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God: and his flesh came again like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.

Knock, knock who’s there?

It’s your restoration. It’s time to dip and humble yourself to receive all God has for you so you can be made whole. Continue to allow God to challenge you in your perspectives in this season and come out of your feelings. Embrace those God has placed around you that are really for you and not around you to drain your strength. God is bringing you into the next version of yourself as the King or Queen you are like he did for King Naaman. This next version of you will restore you back to that moment the enemy first broke you. You made me feel like I was fifteen again. He doesn’t want you to live any longer conflicted between two dualities of your public victory and private struggle. He has sent the answer to your healing.

We are heaven's contingency plan

In the earth there are many types of emergencies, but companies, cities and nations must have a contingency plan in case of an emergency. Contingency planning means preparing an organization, a city, a nation or even relationships to be ready to respond effectively in the event of an emergency. In the light of Hurricane Beryl, my service provider was not prepared, and the governor demanded a contingency plan because there was a significant delay in the restoration of power. When we are not prepared when the crisis hits the earth, not only do we suffer but all those connected to us do too. Our guard is family. We are living in a time where the world has redefined family. Homoseuals are allowed to marry. According to the Guttmacher Institute, medication abortions account for 63% of all abortions in 2023. Millions of children are in foster care worldwide. The government is promoting and allowing our children to choose their own sex when God created us male and female.

The family is in a state of emergency. This is a 911 call.

We have been preparing for this moment our whole lives. The enemy was trying to blind you with distractions like Samson because of pain. You knew we were called to win souls. You know your vision, but you didn’t know if I could extend the same great grace God gave me to you to cover your mistakes. We were built to last. We were forged in our individual struggles to become fortified as a couple through our trials and tribulations. We became overcomers in preparations to overcome any obstacle that arises in our union. I don’t have any reservations that you will be all I need. I’m confident in knowing the Lord heard my faintest desires of my heart. You will be the personification of love. My message is an echo of yours. Love, marriage and black empowerment.

Why did God create you? You were not just born because your parents wanted a baby or had sex. You were sent here on a divine assignment. I remember receiving a prophecy that was so impactful, I published it in my memoir. Apostle Scott Washington told me that God has called me to be an ambassador as a special representative of his grace and glory. This is your call as well. For some of us, we barely made it. Getting out of the womb and being born was our first fight. Now you need to figure out what makes you weep. What makes you agitated? What would you do all day even if you didn’t get paid to do it?

There were several significant women that were barren in the bible. Nevertheless, it didn’t matter how hard or long they may have wanted a baby; God didn’t open their womb until He was ready. One story specifically that I want to discuss is the purpose of Samson’s birth.

The children of Israel were in rebellion again and therefore to get their attention, he allowed them to be oppressed. God still does this to us today when he is trying to get our attention. Judges 13: 1 And the children of Israel did evil again in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord delivered them into the hand of the Philistines forty years. 2 And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren, and bare not. 3 And the angel of the Lord appeared unto the woman, and said unto her, behold now, thou art barren, and bearest not: but thou shalt conceive, and bear a son.

Notice, it wasn’t until God was ready to deliver Israel from the philistines that He decided to send Samson as heavens contingency plan for the emergency on earth. There is an emergency on earth that you were born to specifically resolve. Great men and women are only born for the times they are needed the most. You were not an accident. It doesn’t matter how you were conceived. You were born on purpose for a purpose in God.

Samson had specific requirements surrounding his life from the moment of conception. They weren’t just for him to live with once he was born. God knows what it will take for you to become who he predestined you to be. He was intentional about you from the moment of your conception.

I remember almost 1o years ago, I wept asking God to reveal to me the love Him and I shared in eternity. I wanted to know because the word says he knew us before he formed us and placed us in our mother’s’ womb. He said he ordained us as well. This knowing was intimately woven into our spiritual DNA and as we were knit into our mother’s womb. Our spiritual umbilical cords has never been cut. What were the secrets we needed to know so we could recognize each other? When we came into deeper realms of intimacy with God, He began to reveal his secrets to us and show us each other before we ever met. Revealing these secrets caused us to immediately be able to recognize each other.

Your requirements and purpose are revealed to you through intimacy with God and sometimes prophetic ministry. It is time to embrace your identity in Christ and protect who God says you are. We are a part of heaven’s contingency plan for God in the earth for marriage and relationships.

Who are you? Samson was a Nazarite from birth. You discovered your purpose, but it was your purpose before you entered your mother’s womb. It wasn’t just a good idea. It is God’s idea. Samson knew his requirements, but he kept playing with the philistines, making riddles, and teasing them to flex his powers. Time after time, he would get up and shake himself and always be able to recover but not this one time. This time was different. The word says, God is married to the backslider. Many have been like Samson at times as the body of Christ and found ourselves bound.

The enemy tries to get us entangled and destroyed by what we are called to destroy. Samson had just lost his wife. She was given to another man by her father and then she was burned alive. Samson was in pain and angry. He was looking for a safe place and he found Delilah. Samson self-sabotaged with a full understanding of the intent of Delilah. How many of us knew the risk and we did it anyway? I have. The enemy is after your eyesight like Samson’s. He doesn’t want you to be able to see how to destroy him. He wants to blind you and take your strength by draining you of your ability to accomplish your assignment. Samson asked God to avenge him of his two eyes and God allowed his hair to grow back. God is going to avenge you of every wound. Get ready Samson destroyed more of his enemies in his death than he did in his life. Samson was finally fully submitted to God. We will destroy more of our enemies by laying our lives down completely surrendered to his will. It is not too late. God is in control and has equipped us as one of heavens contingency plans to an emergency in the earth.

Deuteronomy 29:29 The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.

If you say so

I recently listened to a message by Bishop T.D. Jakes called, The Theology of Quietness. This message was such a blessing to me and so divinely timely for my life. Let us read the scripture reference to expound on what I would like to share, in hopes that it will bless you as well.

Matthew 27:11 Meanwhile Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?”

“You have said so,” Jesus replied. Jesus was saying, if you say so.

When I heard Bishop Jakes say this, I immediately laughed so hard. The Lord was really mocking the devil in his own way. We will laugh like Sarah did. He wasn’t trying to clap back at him like we do in our comments to the crowd, our families and friends when they challenge our identity. Nothing he said would have changed a thing because Jesus agreed through silence with his fathers’ plan. They thought they were in control, and He let them think they were until he got to the cross and decided to address the crowds from their comments.

I recently had a series of events that happened in my life over the last few months. After an event I immediately felt a shift in my spirit by God. I heard the Lord tell me my strength would be in his quietness and confidence. I immediately withdrew closer to God and laid everything on the altar I was believing God for like Abraham did with Isaac. This was my promise. This wasn’t my first time up this mountain. However, the first time I scooted up that mountain and barely made it. This wasn’t my first time at this altar but my response and ability to release what I loved most was quicker.

I went running.

I finally realized it wasn’t just about you passing your test. My faith was on trial too. My spirit without my permission became quieter. The music stopped playing but I could still see us. I was on pause waiting for you to push play. I knew if it was going to happen, God was going to have to do it. I had an if you say so in my spirit. I repositioned myself and fasted and prayed. We both hurt each other that time. I knew God would have the final say. I knew what God said to me. I told you not to allow the silence to alarm you. I knew it was loud although I was still talking. My job was to stand like Jesus did in front of Pilate. Our vulnerabilities have connected our hearts and has given us a safe place to build legacy.

Can you stand in the face of your accusers and not answer a word? I was persecuted in this season. I have lost some friends. Some have withdrawn and are watching from afar off. I have been questioned if I am delusional, deceived and questioned if I was downright crazy. I have been lied on just like Jesus was and even told I was operating out of witchcraft. My motives have even been cross examined. I have stuck to my story. Jesus knew who he was and where he was going and so do I.

So many are being moved by the crowd and the noise of others in the comments. Jesus wasn’t moved by the crowd and didn’t try to get out of being crucified. Sometimes you will be crucified in the comments, and you can’t clap back. You will have to say like Jesus did, if you say so. He understood that what he was experiencing was leading him to his cross. He knew it was necessary. He was exactly where he needed to be. You are exactly where you need to be in God now.

I know who I am. I understood the assignment, but I had been offered up like Jesus when he stood in front of Pilate. God wanted my complete surrender and faith in his word and not yours so I would be rooted in God in our foundation. Whether they acknowledged him as King or not, He was. Whether I was acknowledged who God said I was or not at that time, I was.

God wants you to know that you know what he has for you to do and no matter what you face remain confident in the front of your accusers. The enemy is the accuser of the brethren. Jesus was standing as the son of man but was about to be glorified as the King of Kings. He did come to set up his kingdom which was true but that version of Him had to die so he could be crowned King. Sometimes we must agree with our adversaries. We will be prisoners to none.

Jesus our Lord and Savior’s identity was constantly under attack. He was questioned over and over by the crowd who he really was. Why do we not think others close to us and far off will not question us? Sometimes what they are saying may have some truth to it. The enemy is not fighting you over where you are. He is trying to keep you from your future. God has been waiting for generations for us to come into complete alignment with him like Jesus so He can resurrect you. Get ready you are about to be crowned King and Queen.

It was time to collect the data

One of the greatest things I learned this past year is that dating is data collection. To break this concept down to its lowest common denominator I’d like to share how this looks from the life of Rebekah. She was about to have a “suddenly” divinely orchestrated by God with angelic assistance called dating God’s way. She was at the right place at the right time. She wasn’t out there in these dating streets like we would think of in the conventional way, but she was where she could be found.

She was doing what she was supposed to be doing and time and chance was about to come knocking on her heart with love. She was prepared and submitted without even questioning where the man was that she was about to marry. Let’s read the story and then break it down and bring her into 2024.

Genesis 24:1 Abraham was now a very old man, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. 2 One day Abraham said to his oldest servant, the man in charge of his household, “Take an oath by putting your hand under my thigh. 3 Swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and earth, that you will not allow my son to marry one of these local Canaanite women. 4 Go instead to my homeland, to my relatives, and find a wife there for my son Isaac.”

5 The servant asked, “But what if I can’t find a young woman who is willing to travel so far from home? Should I then take Isaac there to live among your relatives in the land you came from?”

6 “No!” Abraham responded. “Be careful never to take my son there. 7 For the Lord, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and my native land, solemnly promised to give this land to my descendants He will send his angel ahead of you, and he will see to it that you find a wife there for my son. 8 If she is unwilling to come back with you, then you are free from this oath of mine. But under no circumstances are you to take my son there.”

9 So the servant took an oath by putting his hand under the thigh of his master, Abraham. He swore to follow Abraham’s instructions. 10 Then he loaded ten of Abraham’s camels with all kinds of expensive gifts from his master, and he traveled to distant Aram-naharaim. There he went to the town where Abraham’s brother Nahor had settled. 11 He made the camels kneel beside a well just outside the town. It was evening, and the women were coming out to draw water.

12 “O Lord, God of my master, Abraham,” he prayed. “Please give me success today, and show unfailing love to my master, Abraham. 13 See, I am standing here beside this spring, and the young women of the town are coming out to draw water. 14 This is my request. I will ask one of them, ‘Please give me a drink from your jug.’ If she says, ‘Yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!’—let her be the one you have selected as Isaac’s wife. This is how I will know that you have shown unfailing love to my master.”

So many men and woman have become bitter and lost hope in marriage and love. However, I believe so many have not depended on the leading of our heavenly father to arrange the marriage. No where do we see that Abraham sat Isaac down to say, hey I’m going to find you a wife. This reminds me of the same scenario in the garden with Adam. Adam had named all the animals. He knew all the animals had a mate. He didn’t ask God where his mate was. The word says, God told Adam it was not good for man to be alone.

Father knows best. It was time to collect the data.

The question is do we really trust God as father. Are you willing to receive the one God has prepared for you? When you know him as father, you move differently. His servant asked, what if she wasn’t willing to leave her state or country and move so far away from her home. Are you willing to move out of your comfort zone? Maybe you just bought a new home you love? Are you willing to move and be uprooted from your country or state to move away from all your family? Are you willing to make room for your future spouse?

She was willing and submissive.

How do we know she had a willing and submissive spirit which was the data he needed to collect. Remember he asked God to send his angel before him and if she said she would give him water to drink and his ten camels; she was the one. She was willing to work with her hands. She was willing to go out of her way that demonstrated she was supportive without knowing anything about this man. She had pure intentions before she knew she was about to be claimed as the one.

Are your motives pure or are you a woman that wants a 666. A man that is 6 feet tall. A man that has a 6 pack. Or a man that makes 6 figures. God has a man and a woman for you, and they aren’t perfect, but they will be perfect for you and it will be in divine alignment with his generational plan for your life.

Sis, God wants you to know the camels are coming!!!!

He has already gone before you to prepare the way. I’ve been hanging out in outer space, taking trips to the moon and back. So many women are superficial and want a man to spend a certain amount of money on them and won’t even allow them to take them to the cheesecake factory for a first date. Can he make you smile? Can he stimulate your mind and elevate you to make you think on a higher dimension? Can you see your future with him just from his words? Do you value the price they paid to become that best version of themselves? Or are you more concerned with how expensive that bag is he can buy you? Is he willing to wait to have you, or does he want to have your cake and eat it too now before he is willing to marry you? Is he willing to honor you not by opening a natural door, but can he open doors for you spiritually?

Do you want a man with muscles? Has he developed his spiritual muscles to carry the weight of his assignment and can you help him? Is he willing to pay the price to answer the call of God on his life and accept you as his assignment? Can you see that his assignment is bigger than his height? Do you see what I see? Can you hear, what I hear? Do you want what I want? These are simple questions that must be answered when its time to collect the data.

Our first date,

He wasn’t a minute late. 

And if I had one word to describe it, 

It would  be “great.”

He went out his way to travel miles, 

through years of tears to give me those smiles,

He laid out hours,

to get those powers,

In worship. 

To give me those moments that were as beautiful as flowers.

Our dates were expensive because of the price he had to pay,

That lead to the toll on the road that brought him my way,

To be able to lift me with no hands,

To survive shipwrecks and quicksand’s,

He had to overcome heartbreaks and mistakes,

survive landmines and Great Lakes,

Of pain.

He worked out in loves gym to build those muscles to flex,

to bench press me to places of intimacy to honor me with no sex,

He took me to a factory that made me cheese,

Kept my heart and mind at ease, 

Willing to wait to celebrate to have his cake,

fighting with sleep to keep dreaming and stay awake. 

Our first date, 

he didn’t hesitate.

To open the door,

Dropping hearts, leaving me longing for more,

We went straight to the moon, 

 As we levitated under the stars,

Hanging on each other’s words like dangling from monkey bars.

Suspended in the air, defying laws of logic and gravity, 

Becoming sedated, 

Intoxicated, 

numbing each other from our past reality,

With love.

He made me forget every moment I wanted to quit,

Made me want to grind harder with passion and grit. 

He made me grateful for every moment I was ever rejected,

and redirected,

That led me to him,

and I am eternally indebted to the God that chose 

me and not them. 

Get ready to run your race

Elijah made history. He was about to do something that had never been done on several levels. He was getting ready to run his greatest race but let us see what happens first. Get ready to run your race. We are about to make history. He had the audacity to believe God would show up for him as he defeated four hundred false prophets that were proclaiming to be true prophets. Jezebel had already killed many of Gods prophets, but Elijah stood in the face of adversity and revealed the God that answers by fire.

What dimension of God’s character has He predestined you to reveal to the world to destroy the lie of the enemy?

Is it to help turn the hearts of the fathers back to children and the children’s hearts back to the fathers? Is it to help turn lesbianism and homosexuals’ hearts back to God to restore their hope in love and marriage? Have you been called to outlive the lie that marriage doesn’t work anymore because the divorce rate is just as high in the church as in the world? Is it to destroy the lie that this world is too evil, and you shouldn’t have any children? Is it to ignite love and hope in the hearts of women to believe a man can love honor and be faithful to his wife and kids? Is it to encourage older women that it isn’t too late to have a child?

Elijah was called to confront the lie that God was not the true and living God. God was about to allow him to outlive the lie of his character as a true prophet of the most high God. He had just poured out all the water on the altar and God came down to consume his sacrifice.

What is God asking you for as a sacrifice in this season so he can reveal himself as the God that answers by fire?

They were coming out of a three-year drought of no rain. Sowing that water was all they had, and he gave it to God. He was depending on God. God knows this is a new level of dependency he is requiring from you. But you are about to see him in a new way, you have never seen him before because he is asking you to give him what you needed the most.

To some it looked like Elijah wasted that water. God is about to show you nothing you have given was in vain. Just because you didn’t do everything right doesn’t negate your promises. Jezebel let Elijah know she was going to have him killed. Elijah was so discouraged and in fear after this victory that he went and hid in a cave and said he wished he had never been born. Be encouraged. God is protecting your life.

God has been trying to position you like he did the prophet Elijah if you are willing to trust him. Elijah positioned himself. He sends his servant Gehazi back seven times to see if rain was coming. You may have been waiting 7 weeks, 7 months or even 7 years but God wants you to know the rain is coming. It may look impossible. Everything God has promised you is on the way. You are about to get it and not just a little but in abundance.

The prophet Elijah was raised to be the answer to a 911 call and so are we. This drought was so bad mothers were eating their babies and they were buying bird poop to eat. We are facing some of the greatest times in our lives as a nation. It is dark but God is ready to answer our prayers like he did Elijah, but we must position ourselves and get ready to run.

God was building your endurance in this last season so you would be able to outrun and outlive every lie. Receive his strength. Elijah was so confident in God that he told Gehazi to give Ahab a head start by telling him to start heading to Jezreel before he got stuck in what was about to be a blessing to some. It also could be seen as a burden without having the God that answers by fire. God is releasing his blessing and at times it can feel like both if you are not positioned before the rain. The word says, the hand of the Lord was on Elijah, and he gathered up his garment and ran before Ahab to the entrance of Jezreel" (1 Kings 18:46). That is right Elijah had to gird his loins to be able to out live and out run Ahab this time for this assignment.

Some of us have been just like Sha ‘Carri Richardson. Three years ago, she was disqualified because she tested positive for smoking marijuana after learning about the death of her mother. This one mistake set her back three years banning her from the 2021 Tokyo Olympics. However, she came back with a vengeance and won this year. I was there. I thought just like Sha’ Carri I was ready, but I too buckled under the pressure of adversity that was costly. I remember the 700 club had reached out to do an interview with me. I turned it down. I had prepared for many years for an opportunity to share my testimony at this next level. I had just finished establishing my non-for -profit. I had just finished my book in 2016 but didn’t release it. All hell had broken out in my home and the enemy rose up in my two sons in heavy rebellion. I was stressed and felt alone. I ended up being with my oldest son’s father and ended up pregnant this time. This decision cost me years like it did her.

Just like Sha ‘Carri Richardson won this year after a three-year delay, so will we. It’s our time. God has been waiting generations for this moment for us to take our place in His race. So many have laid their baton down before us. So many decided the price to train was more than they wanted to pay. So many have fallen and never gotten back up to try again. Get ready to run your race. He has given us another chance to get it right where others failed, quit or in times past, disqualified themselves in a previous season like Sha ‘Carri. She won. I won. You win. We win and everything connected to us will too.

Choosing abstinence

Many have asked the question in these dating streets, does body count matter? As far back as I can remember, my body count mattered for me. To be honest, I never thought about how many women my future spouse may have been with. God showed me in January 2021, he would separate himself from anything that could jeopardize our love. I had a supernatural confidence in our love through prayer. I also know the version that he and I will get no one else has ever had before. When we are resurrected like Lazarus and come back to life, we will never be the same version that comes forth. Lazarus was never the same after he experienced Christ resurrection power and when you allow the old you to die and Christ to live, you won’t be either.

I’m about to share why I fully embraced abstinence over seven years ago. I want to honor God, myself, and my future spouse. I shared in my memoir, how I only wanted to be with one man. I imagined I would wait to give my virginity to my husband. Although, I never had anyone to tell me my virginity was special growing up. I just intuitively knew it was. I ended up in a vulnerable situation and looking back, I know now, I was like a bird caught in the snare of the fowler that escaped. I didn’t know a lot of things, but I made a decision based on a promise and like a child I believed him.

I decided to be with a man that was 21 years older than me, and I was just turning fifteen years old. I believed him when he said he would marry me at 18 years old, so I gave him my virginity. I had just finished my first year in high school, and I couldn't believe the stories I had heard. My friends shared with me they were sexually engaging and then told me the boy “quit” them. My mind was not able to comprehend how easily abandoned they were after giving something that could never be given back. So many times through the years when I would hear couples in my church and online that got married young and are still together, I would get sad. I knew I had the capacity to love and grow with someone like this even at fifteen so I made the decision.

I wouldn’t talk to any of the boys in high school because I didn’t believe they understood my value. So, the enemy set the perfect storm up and brought me into an unexpected situation which led me to believe that an older man would understand and value me more. I slowly realized the damage this relationship had done to me looking back and how it began to deepen my beliefs on men. Our relationship didn’t end in marriage as promised, not at 18 years old and not at 44 years old. However, after a pregnancy that ended in abortion at 17, and a forced encounter that ended in a second pregnancy and no contact for 17 years to help me raise our son. After being divorced three and a half years, and getting in a new relationship 2 years prior to him reaching out to me that resulted in me being a run away bride, I went back. I allowed him to finagle his way back into my life. One of the main reasons was because body count mattered. I was in recovery and my ex-husband was given 6 months to live. I had two sons from my ex-husband. I still had healing to do and now I was being faced with their father’s death sentence. I had lost hope, and my heart became sick.

These are only fragments of why choosing abstinence has been so important to my spiritual alignment, personal development, and growth. Someone on a post recently asked me how I could let someone mistreat me like this and I am so beautiful. Beauty is not a shield from abuse. Love is real love. When we know how much God loves us, we won’t allow ourselves to be devalued and mishandled.

Now with another promise of marriage and much older, I trusted him again. This time I ended up with an unplanned pregnancy and him abandoning me again until 2 months before her birth. He misled me to believe he was divorced at that time and he didn’t tell me he was sick before her pregnancy. He ended up dying shortly after her second birthday.

I remember the day I cried out to God after my daughter was born. I cried loud and hard this time but not long. I asked the Lord to never allow me to dishonor myself again by sleeping outside of marriage. I made a resolve in my heart to take care of her with or without his support. I knew I was done. I never thought I would have another child and especially not with him, but I had placed myself in a compromising situation. Getting pregnant with my daughter was one of the most expensive prices I ever had to pay for my sin, but God knew she would be here. No baby is an unplanned pregnancy in heaven, they are to us sometimes in the earth.

Giving birth to my daughter made me remember everything I dared to believe God for and became a catalyst to remember my value. The enemy told me she would forever be a reminder to me of my fall from grace. God immediately told me she would always be a reminder in my life from him of everything the enemy said I would never get but will. I wanted to be an example to her in my walk before the Lord and that meant choosing abstinence. My obedience began to prophetically align me with everything God had promised me. I want to encourage others and state that at times choosing abstinence is challenging.

However, I know that it is possible because God has kept me when I didn’t want to be kept. Choosing abstinence for me is God restoring my virginity spiritually and allowing me to give my husband what I gave away at fifteen. God revealed to me in December 2020 that every time I was ever rejected, he was preserving me for my future spouse. It’s God’s method of divine restoration. Allow him to restore your soul and prepare you for your future spouse. I look forward to getting remarried to my purpose partner to fulfill our assignment together. God is going to honor my future spouse for being willing to wait and honor God, our future union and me even though it isn’t easy. It’s going to be so worth it!!! I pray that as you also trust God and honor him in spirit and in truth that he will bring divine alignment and divine restoration into your lives as well, in Jesus’ name.

 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Never

You never kissed my lips,

Never took your hands and pulled me close by my hips,

But you’ve held my heart in your hands,

Whispered in my ear as I ease dropped in heavens grandstands.

Never held my breast, 

But you laid your head on my chest,

When you listened for my heartbeat, 

while you sat at his feet.

Never saw me undressed,

Never caressed,

My body.

but you got the peep hole,

 to my soul,

Lingered in chambers of my heart waiting for you to explore,

In places your hands can never reach but I can’t ignore.

Never laid down next to me in bed,

But you live in my head,

completely unpacked,

and unwrapped,

as my prize,

in my 5th floor high rise.

Occupying residence,

with evidence,'

by faith,

in my future life,

I am your wife.

Never tasted,

But got me wasted,

Never between my thighs,

But reminiscing on my highs,

Never picked up a phone to Facetime,

to tell me you’re all mine,

But you stay in my face all the time online,

Loving you out loud,

waiting and still proud.