At some point in life, every child will accuse their parent of being cruel. The restrictions we place, the limits we set, and the discipline we enforce often feel like punishment to them. But as parents, we know something they don’t—our no is often the greatest act of kindness we can give.
Just as a loving parent must say no to protect their child, so does God. His correction can feel paradoxical, even cruel, yet it is always an act of love. "Where there is no vision, the people cast off restraint" (Proverbs 29:18). Without guidance, without boundaries, destruction is inevitable. That’s why God, in His wisdom, sometimes tells us no—not to punish us, but to protect us.
I remember a time when I had to exercise this tough love with my own son. He was 17, and unknown to me, he had been sneaking out at night, taking my truck, and drinking. I was working on my master’s degree at the time and rarely stayed up late to do my coursework. But one night, Jesus woke me up. I argued with myself about whether I needed to get up, but something in my spirit urged me to obey.
I worked for exactly 45 minutes before heading to turn off the living room light. And just as I reached for the switch, in walks my son—bloodshot eyes, tipsy, and holding my truck keys.
I wasn’t even angry. I was grateful. Grateful that he made it home safely, that he didn’t hurt himself or someone else. My first and only question was, “How long have you been doing this?” Without hesitation, he admitted, “About nine months.”
That was it. The keys were now mine, permanently. From that moment forward, neither he nor his younger brothers would ever have the chance of stealing my car keys and gaining access to my vehicle. My no was not an act of cruelty—it was an act of kindness. I never wanted to risk him driving drunk again, never wanted to test how many more times God’s mercy would cover his reckless decisions.
God’s Correction: A Paradox of Love
God’s discipline can feel like a contradiction, just as Shakespeare captured in Hamlet when the prince said, “I must be cruel to be kind.” On the surface, these words don’t make sense. How can cruelty be an act of kindness? But when you look deeper, you understand the truth: sometimes, the greatest kindness requires temporary pain.
We see this in God's dealings with us. His “no” may disappoint us in the moment, but it spares us from long-term destruction. He may withhold something we desperately want, not because He is cruel, but because He knows that having it too soon, or at all, could destroy us. He may discipline us, not to break us, but to build us into who He has called us to be.
“For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12:6).
To the child, discipline feels unfair. To the developing believer, God’s correction may feel harsh. But from a place of wisdom, we come to understand that every restriction He places, every door He closes, and every painful lesson He allows is rooted in His unfailing love.
So, when God tells you no, when He blocks a path you were determined to take, when He removes something from your life that you desperately wanted to keep—trust Him. It may only be a season where delay is not denial, it is divine development. It’s not cruelty. It’s kindness.