Dear Future Husband: Broken and Beautiful

God told me years ago as I was writing my memoir that you would find me at this next level of exposure. I pray you find me soon. I pray that you are preparing yourself like I am. I pray that you are guarding your heart and getting healed, so that we can have our happily ever after. No matter what we both have been through. I pray that you will not be afraid to share your heart and your desires with me. I pray your love will unlock my heart without question that you are the one. I pray that I will be your only desire and that you will never break my heart and give your love away to another. I now understand every time I was rejected that God was preserving my love for you.


I'm ready to love again.


I have submitted my heart and body to God years ago with hope for our future which has given me the focus to wait. I believe in our love. You will have no need of spoil and will be able to trust me with your heart. I pray that you know I will do you good and not evil all the days of my life. I will never leave you. I would rather die by laying down my life for you than to be separated from you: for there is no greater love than this. I pray that you would not read my book like another fairytale. Although, I had to be willing to love a beast in order to exchange the ashes for the beauty, you will now receive. I loved a man that didn't love me back. How much deeper will my love be for you because you will love me back? I pray that I will find great favor in your sight, from the moment you meet me, just like Queen Esther did with her King.

I pray that God will show you my heart. That you will know that my love is real and genuine. That it is patient and kind and everything you will dream it should and will be. I pray that as you read my story, you will understand the price it cost me to become the woman that I am today. It cost me years of tears. Nights of suffering in my flesh to cease from sinning. I had to run through generational troops of pain and sorrow, that were filled with heartbreaks and mistakes. I leaped over generational walls, that were set up by the enemy, of demonic ancestral curses that proclaimed I would never be able to love a man because I was too damaged.

I travailed for my own deliverance and healing from past wounds, so that you would only read of the scars but never have to experience the pain. I came out of agreement with demonic strongholds in my mind, that tried to hold me hostage, to tell me that a man could never love me the way I desire and deserve. I will love you with no fear. I will love you with no shame. I will be honored to take your name and follow you as you follow Christ.

I swam through bitter waters that almost drowned me. I walked on fires of revenge that almost burned me alive without the stitch of smoke to tell, holding on desperately to a wire believing that I would love again. My tears that I sowed created a well that we both will drink from that is filled with love, mercy and grace. I didn't give my heart away. I believe you exist and will find me soon and when you do, know it will take every day God gives us to fully discover the jewel that I am. I pray that while I am yet waiting to be discovered that God will perfect your love that you will be able to love me like Jacob loved Rachael. I pray that you will understand that the value of my love will outweigh the cost of your labor. My hearts desire is that I will become the love of your life not just your wife.

So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

Love your future wife,

Marie

P.S. Loving me will be easy and you will like me too! :)