For some people swallowing a pill may come naturally but for others, they will choke. You are a mistake! These were the four words that would echo in my ear from my childhood from my mother. There I was at a time of great healing and deliverance in my life and God was healing the abandonment of my childhood wounds. And at the same time, my husband began to say, “you are a mistake.” All my childhood fears of abandonment began to resurface, and my existence was being challenged at its core. My husband’s rejection became a cork that inevitably led me into a depth of brokenness that made me agree with the enemy that I should not be here. I was choking, choking on life; choking on the pill that was being shoved down my throat.
This was not the way it was supposed to be.
Maybe this past year with COVID-19 you have felt the same way. Perhaps, at times you have felt like me and Naomi. Let us not forget the plight of Naomi.
In Ruth 1:21 it reads
I went out full and the LORD hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the LORD hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me?
Naomi’s name means “pleasant”. Naomi’s life was once pleasant. She was married and had two sons that were married. Family was important to her not just because she loved them but because the prosperity of her inheritance was also attached to the welfare of her family. Now, she says to call her Mara which means bitter.
This was not the way Naomi thought it would be.
Maybe this is not the way you thought it would be now.
Naomi began to choke also on the pill that life was shoving down her throat so much so, that she decided to no longer even be called by her name. Naomi at one time was prospering and lived in the comfort of knowing her family and her were safe from the famine. Maybe before COVID-19 you and your family were secure and everything seemed like you would be okay. Then all of a sudden your mate got sick and suddenly died. Or you lost your job or maybe both of you lost your jobs. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse: it did. Life has not been the same. The loss of security. The loss of direction. The lose of hope for how you thought life would be is not the same since 2020. Don’t chock because of the things that are happening that you see in the world. The word tells us to look at the things that are eternal and not seen. Trust God like I did. Trust God like Naomi did.
Naomi thought she had nothing left to offer but her wisdom proved to be priceless. Because Ruth listened to her, they both ended up reconnected to the blessings of God and God used Ruth and Boaz’s union to be engrafted into the lineage of Jesus. Don’t let your circumstances dictate what your final outcome with be. Allow God to heal your brokenness and whatever you do in this season, stay connected and don’t choke!